Friday, December 05, 2008

DEAR Marje
I have been asked to display my self in a competition for the most buutiful old fart that remains doing lectures at a University.
Perhaps this is quite inspiring as who knows what such a display might lead up to.
On the other hand I feel I am too intellectual and mature for such an event and I feel rather exploited already.

Can you give me advice?
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14 comments:

  1. Anonymous17:52

    Beauty resides in the eye of the beholder. Look in a mirror, and be content.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous21:30

    Dear Zola,

    Many thanks for your letter. Unfortunately, I have too many other more pressing letters to deal with, than to answer your problem personally. However, may I suggest my new helplines. I am sure you will find an answer to your needs there.

    Please dial 0800 1066 1492 1979 .. , and then add the relevant number after:

    (Calls are charged at £1 per minute; and you can expect to be on the phone for 20 minutes. But we are more honest about our charges than Ant and Dec.)

    I think I suffer from premature emasculation. Dial: 01

    She came and went. What should I do? Dial: 02

    My inlaws are driving me to become an murderous outlaw. Dial: 03.

    Shameless naked kayaking floats my boat. Dial: 04.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Merkin21:45

    I know a couple of pensioners who are just waiting for that hot calander.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous22:30

    Let us get neked!! Oh key yah!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous22:32

    "On the other hand I feel I am too intellectual and mature for such an event and I feel rather exploited already"

    Shaddap and get yer cock owt.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Merkin23:15

    Shaddap and GetYerCockOwt sounds like a double act from the sixties.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous15:27

    Can this blog sink any lower?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Merkin16:35

    Yes, it can.

    I have a spiffing idea.

    Why don't we recreate a Lapland experience here on the Net?
    Zola can provide the reindeer (virtually) and I can do my Father Christmas impersonation.

    Anticant can be Gerda from the mountains and LavvyBloo, if can find her, can be The Ice Queen.

    Lots of fun for all the family.

    (PS I am in charge of the funds).

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous01:06

    Why don't we recreate a Lapland experience here on the Net?

    Cease and desist, Mr Merkin. Lap Lands are not good for the cause of women. Mrs Claus, dancing around the Pole, for the enjoyment of a fat, hairy misoginistic arsehole and all his little squirts of mates, too small too get laid: tell me, how is that liberation?

    Bahumbug.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Merkin03:45

    'I can do my Father Christmas impersonation.'

    'dancing around the Pole, for the enjoyment of a fat, hairy misoginistic arsehole and all his little squirts of mates, too small too get laid: tell me, how is that'

    I am not Polish, fat or hairy or too small.
    Is there something I should know?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous06:37

    Plenty.

    ReplyDelete
  12. zola a social thing13:54

    Do not worry.
    Your Zola won the competition and has never been the same since.

    Thanks for all the warm hearted advice ( I used it all ).

    But now how do I keep all those grannies away from me door?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Merkin17:29

    I seem to have the same problem at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
  14. zola a social thing08:11

    Everytime as if it were the last fling?
    Lucky boy Merkin.

    ReplyDelete