ZOLA-NEWS UPDATE
As far as I can make out, as fuzzy connections are everywhere, Zola is away from the Sirens of the South and thrusting his way through the ice of the far north.
Radio contact was difficult but it seemed that Zola was saying : " I am getting closer to this monster that has been created by Dr Frankenstein".
We here at HQ are rather concerned.
Zola is Mary Shelley in drag! I claim my prize and Agatha, PD and I welcome him to the exclusive Literary Dames' Detective Agency.
ReplyDeleteI am authorised to say that " You may say that but I could not".
ReplyDeleteHooray - all aboard the "Fram" to the land of the midnight sun.
ReplyDeleteLet's get solar with Zola.
So you couldn't possibly comment?
ReplyDeleteSomething fishy'a going on here. Are you having a whale of a time with your dear old turtle again?
ReplyDeleteKeep it clean, please.
Latest report from Zola :-
ReplyDelete" I have just seen a lady in Jack Boots running over the ice and in pursuit of a kind of Minotaur."
Then the message went blank.
I should have thought it would have been the other way round.
ReplyDeleteAny sign of a Harpooning Harperson?
If you think the world's your oyster, we have unrivalled experience in pearl fishing.
ReplyDeleteWe provide seven crafty chambermaids with seven mops and an unlimited quantity of sand.
Fees moderate.
I will provide the pool of tears.
ReplyDeleteAll the perfumes in Arabia - or anywhere else - will not sweeten this stinking band.
ReplyDeleteI am authorised by the Dear Leader to assure you all that only the most fragrant and wholesome organic ingredients go into New Labour's Patent Non-Smearing Ordure Gel.
ReplyDeleteSo spread it all around without qualms. We reach the intimate parts like no-one else can. Be pure and free - face a rosy future with me.
Quack.
ReplyDeleteFrontal Attack on Brown's Fortress of Solitude is in the offing, I see.
ReplyDeleteJ'Accuse!
ReplyDeleteAccording to the 'Times, it's all a load of Balls.
ReplyDelete“Ed has spent all his time trying to do his best for children and young people.”
ReplyDeleteExcept when he was exchanging 30 or 40 emails a day with mcfilth.
ReplyDeleteNot in front of the children, PLEASE!
ReplyDeleteThis is the way the Project ends......
ReplyDeleteFurther first-hand reports from Zola are anxiously awaited. Is he shooting, or ducking, or both?
ReplyDeleteIs he shooting, or ducking, or both?
ReplyDeleteHe's no access to Fastnet around South East Iceland, to come Forth to inform us; but we all know he's a Dogger, not a Fisher, our fair, but never Moderate, Sole-Viking Zola.
Really, Zola, didn't know you went Dogging! Does Mrs Zola know? Whatever next......
ReplyDeleteHeel, boy. Stop messing about with my Balls. Another juicy bone on the way if you're a good Dogger - you can Bank on it. And don't be Scilly - get over your fit of the Mumbles and Rockall around the clock.
ReplyDeleteBreaking Chilling News.
ReplyDeleteZola has sent in Morse Code the following :-
" The seemingly suicidal lady in jack boots running across the ice after the Minotaur has been manhandled by a large white fluffy thing - a polar bear it is thought - and the last sighting was a hole in the ice with only a black snout above water."
What a pity it wasn't a large Brown bear.
ReplyDeleteHarriet Harpicperson has announced that "He [the Dear Leader] is demonstrating conviction leadership, not waiting for the economic commentators to agree and then following, not waiting for public opinion to point the way and then following."
He has already been convicted by the Court of Public Opinion.
Dear Zola
ReplyDeleteWhile you're in the vicinity, do come and join me in my igloo hideaway. It has every home comfort, and is well insulated with wads and wads of sterling and dollar bills.
Lots of single malts to choose from.
Oh - and might I persuade you to relieve me of a few billion toxic assets?
In view of the obvious seriousness of the situation, a relief expedition is being hurriedly assembled and will depart from the Burrow within 24 hours, led by the intrepid Beadle assisted by Wooffie bearing 2 casks of Napoleon brandy.
ReplyDeleteAny directions as to the whereabouts of our obviously increasingly mentally fragile Zola will be welcome.
Was this: http://the-red-rag.blogspot.com/
the lady in jackboots, by any chance?
I posted on the redrag site last week, asking whether anyone had any insight on possible sexual diseases that have infected top Tories. I was just wondering about that particular issue one day, that's all. Alas, the comment is still awaiting moderation. Derek Draper, are you on holiday or something? Zola - is he with you?
ReplyDeleteZola has better taste than that.
ReplyDeleteNo more gawping at the rotting entrails in Gordo's Downing Street bunker. Get along there, you insolent scum. There's real work to be done. We are concentrating on saving the country and the world. Rally behind our brave PM.
ReplyDeleteBudget ahoy!
Latest message from Zola :-
ReplyDelete" We have planted a christmas tree by that hole in the ice. As we did it we saw that white fluffy thing run away towards the horizon. However we noticed that there was a trace of red showing on the furry beast....... ( there was a cut off there)...... The Minotaur has been lost but we are all determined to track it down. This will be made easier by the droppings that we can see on the ice.... ( more crackling) ... We may be away for some time.
Was it a red rag?
ReplyDeleteLovely pic, btw. Can you send some more of the same back to base?
I posted on The Red rag yesterday as well - now, no sign of it.
ReplyDeleteLatest from Zola up far north :-
ReplyDelete" We got the polar bear. As it turned out it was not a real polar bear at all but a Lord dressed up in robes. The red had been covered by the snow. The captain of this ship has forbidden me to reveal the name and identity of this Lordly Polar Bear... ... Still after the Minotaur and we ... ..." ( I could not decipher the bits that followed.
I have asked Zola to get us a new picture. No reply yet.
But you will all understand that he is so very very busy and lacking in the normal high tech un-controllable-controllables and even his own brass monkey balls in such latitudes on a ship.