SYSTEMATIC KILLING FIELDS and INDIFFERENCE
It seems to me that the invisible hand of civilisation and mechanical expertise, attached to an equally abstract and anything goes so long as it pays, is at the heart(sic) of mistaken identies and flawed information. In other words our expert-systems murder innocent-others in the name of efficiency and risk.

Scratch, just a little, this skin and system and what might we see?
Maybe Karl Marx was just close enough to the big story with his alienation theme.
By the way Norwich City won AGAIN last night.

United Nations Wisdom and Groanagin
According to the UN it will be the "poor" that will suffer because of the "failures" of developed countries Big Boys.
Jesus Wept !
It is the successes of the big boys that create the suffering under this nasty and short and brutal reign of terrorist capitalism.
....there is a better life for me and you."

ROYAL COURT THEATRE TONIGHT
HOW I WON THE WAR AS AN ALCOHOLIC GOON

Special performances by Spike Milligramned and Winston Burchill
Directed by Basil Blackbladder
Sponsorship comes from the Prudence Union

UK EXPERTS COME UP WITH PLAN FOR HEALTHY YOUNGSTERS
Due to the binge drinking culture and the destruction of the national health Service, including dentists, a group of experts from the UK have come up with a NULabor plan.
It is this : feed babies with booze when they cut their teeth and ensure that they learn the stages of euphoria.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
Iceberg shatters the trusty boat.
What is below really matters.
As I once said to the Duke of Westminster : take a grip on this !

THE DAILY CHRISTIAN MAIL SENDS XMAS MESSAGE
It seems that a convict is sick. The story goes that a liver transplant would be needed. This convict is a very bad person.
The Daily Mail today runs a comments page on this.
I checked it out ( got banned agin).

The hate and the tragic playing God scene is too clear.
Comments are from pure and clean readers who can do no "sin".
Goethe come back all is forgiven.
Gide come back all is forgiven.
For fucks sake can humanitas come back.........?

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
The CommonWealth(sic) are planning to make a new World Cup for the football.
British companies are all behind on this one.

A DISGRACE
The England football game last night was a disgrace. From the beginning when Brits went booooooooooooooooo to Croatia as their national music played. The spin from players and manager, on and on lies and deceit in management talk-ways to control the damage.
The game reflected, for me, the new UK that I have finally begun to see and understand.
I am not alone in ex-pat circles to say a disgrace and to apologise to any left out there that thought the Brits could behave in better ways.
To be an ex-pat is often to live and feel Britishness more than a Brit. Maybe I take the shock too seriously.
But I am disgusted.
Even the so called manager did not wait for his own players to leave the pitch - he almost ran down the exit tunnel.
This is Blairite Britain for me clear as clear to be.

I think I am glad that Croatia and many others have and will take this new uk to the cleaners and down a few pegs.
During my summer visit there I senses something awful. Now I see an example of that awfulness through football at all levels.

This is a deep culture of spin and powder-puff-kid arrogance. It will not go away soon.
How can a person apologise for this disgusting display of Nu-UK?

I HAVE BEEN WONDERING
Of all the governments in this (our) world today - which are the governments that show a bias towards the well being of the majority?

OK, a silly question.
It does not, however, close the doors for a damned good reply that is quite different from the original philosophy that inspired such a silliness.

Yes, yes, yes, I am asking something about democracy. Boring.
I have just been wondering which government, even in a democracy, can claim to be in bias towards the well being of the majority.
Damn it is, is it, so difficult?

FINNISH NURSES GET SOME SATISFACTION BUT NO RESPECT
Nurses in Finland have, at long last, gained financial satisfaction. The solidarity was too much for the government ( pretending that local government was not national government).
Nurses in Finland have, should have had it long time ago, satisfaction of knowing that their work was important work. ( yet those nurses that did not join in the mass protest and especially those "private trainer-nurses" are today struggling to "look good".)

In fact government is quite pissed off right now.
There is still no respect for really essential workers.
This "win" by the nurses is just a battle.
To get that respect ( away from instrumental victories) "costs".
The government lost that kind of respect about a week after it was voted-in.

Yet I dance and sing with those good nurses that get a decent salary now.
Good luck to you all I say.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
UK Monday morning.
A mass exodus of small children. Kids run away from UK schools like never before.
Interviews with some of the kids showed the cause of this mass burst of activity.
" We are showing the Brown man that we can read ok thank you. In fact we read even between the lines of our big leader. That's why we run. "

I blame the parents and the teachers and the preachers and the creepers that creep and creep and creep.
The Kids are Alright.

DID YOU KNOW That
Cumulus is a white puffy cloud often associated with showery weather?

Willy Willy is a miniature tornado peculiar to Australia?

NURSES IN FINLAND IGNORED YET AGAIN
Today the Finnish government voted to ignore nurses and public opinion. This, yet again.
The plastic mis-economy is on the air right now.
At the same time the Prime Minister, Matti Vanityman, could not be present to vote.
He was in hospital at the RIGHT time.
Damn it this all sucks.

A FRIDAY IN THE UK
School uniforms should be more uniformed say top experts.
There is too much "social exclusion" involved today.
We need more creative and innovative youth.

Is this the NU-UK?
Or what.

A FRIDAY IN FINLAND
I have received a grant from the Finnish Association for the Advancement of the Correctional Abilities in a Mis-Political-Economy. I have been given the task of displaying Finland on a Friday. Then the money runs out.

Anyway here it is :-

1) At the biggest local hotel we have boxing. Men with Finnish sounding names fight against men with Swedish sounding names and Russian sounding names. It costs 15 Euro to get in and the drinks are not cheap.
2) The government is set to disrespect the nurses yet again as the second reading of the Anti-Nurses-Bill is happening. At the same time Finnish agents made employment fairs in Poland to encourage Poles to come and work in Finland.
3) The State run "Alko" shop has the workers on strike. This really pisses off many Finns on a Friday.
4) In Rovaniemi ( an insignificant Santa Claus place) a new Academy is brought into action. It is called "The Elf Academy" and grants diplomas to those that study to become elves to help Santa Claus.
5) The sex industry really gets going on a Friday and there is always a full display of Far-Eastern girls advertising in the newspapers for nice chats and therapy.
6) Damn it I'm off.................. sorry

AS I HOBBLED BACK FROM HOSPITAL
This morning was one of those hospital mornings.
I was due the first injection as winter time comes along.
I walked in the room with a smile ( surely she will like me after what I have been writing in support of nurses in Finland)

Were you born in England she asked me.
I said yes.
Have you been a good boy she asked.
I said no.

She then jabbed the needle in my arse and I am sure i saw her feet lift up from the ground as she did the wicked deed.
She smiled as I left the room.

GOVERNMENT SHOWS NURSES WHO THE RULES ARE FOR !
Yes it was predicted even here on this blog. This morning the Finnish government passed the first reading of the so called "Patients Safety Bill" which roughly translated means the Anti-Collectives Bill and the you will do as you are told Bill.
Nurses have seen that the political and business elite can quickly make a bill preventing any kind of collective protest.
The second reading is on Friday.

Last count was a clear majority of Finns in support of nurses but the clear majority of right wing Blairites in government show their teeth. If this really goes through a sea change situation will be upon Finland. It may soon be that 20.000 nurses will protest ( Finland is a small country of 5 million people so 20.000 is very many).
Will the more industrial trades unions show support?

Have I ever been down this road before?

MONDAY BRAINDEAD BLUES
The absurdity of Monday is no new thing as school and work systems have long been a regimentation of things that really make little or no sense. It is then on a Monday morning that the crassman comes to call.
But it all makes work for the bloggerman to do.

Considering that more than a few bloggers turn to Jung stuff and even paint images of hills and fields and stuff like that - considering that I went back to a quote that I had used many years ago - a quote from Jung. It was this that he said when he was 87 years of age :-

" Modern man has not truly looked into the great divide within himself, the great divide which separates him from wilderness and nature ..... The more uncertain I have felt about myself and life, the more has grown in me, through nature, a feeling of kinship with all things. "

As the snow surrounds our home now and as footfalls tell a story I will be off to hunt a good looking female reindeer to spread the message. I shall be at one with the world.

The Queen Speaks for Nation
Remember, remember the 11th of November.
Send more to war and then celebrate.

A good father today might say no.
My sons do not need to join the army.

A DAY FOR FATHERS AND DADS
Not sure about everywhere but in Finland today a father is thanked.
My father is dead and gone but I might still thank him.

He was non-violent.
He used to warm my clothes early in the morning before I went out to deliver newspapers at 6 in the morning in the rain.
He crafted a wooden fort for one birthday and I played with it for many years until I became too "mature" ( that fort was given to others and I hear is still used). Good craftsman he was.
Smashed my head in once. Father cleaned me up calmed me and then made sure I was not alone in the hospital.
At the end, attacked by cancer, he still tried his best to chat to me as a father would. He was brave in his sweat and bumpy body.

Thanks dad

TO BE A GOOD PARENT?
Winnicott used to ask us to do things "just good enough". Always thought that such a simple and clear statement was just good enough.

A good parent is so abstract and yet this abstraction is all we have to try and live with in bloggerlands. Such is the hassle of worded-deeds.

But, at the same time, good parents "are worth it".
Is this irony and a postmodern play?

I was an adopted child and proud of it in this way. I was given a second chance as it were. I was parented. Gifted.
Maybe that is what I might say to this question.
Second chances are good.

WHERE WOULD THE NU-LEFTIES BE?

As past preist Blair is for the turning and embraces the Catholic poverty of philosophy and as Brown inhales his own opium mixture then what will we expect from the Nu-Lefties today?

Will they be able to handle the religious debates that have so influenced left-wing politics for about 300 years in the Modern world?
Will they be able to be critical ( remember a book called "Catholics and the Left" from the 60,s where Marxian writers struggled with their faith) or will they avoid such basics?

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNT AT SCHOOL TODAY DEAR LITTLE NU-LEFTIES THAT SHINE?

ROMANTIC FINLAND
Finland has been called, sometimes, more American than America. Sometimes that has seemed to me like a good sense reading. Sometimes.
Schools, killings and.......... Nokia land.
As I live in the north we call the south and Helsinki -- HELLSTINKI.
We have better ways of slaughter in the North.
This post in no way disrespects those hurt by senseless killing.
I am just sad at this absurdity that grows and grows in Finland.

The "no comment" ploy of Finnish authorities no longer works.

NOTHING NEW WITH THE QUEEN PREACH
. ( Same old crap )

Education, education,education was there, in USA style under Bliar, today we have aspiration, aspiration,aspiration.
CLASS(sic) stuff ignored yet again.
And that was just a small bit.

Is there any point in "trusting" a UK democracy anymore or before?

Parliament will have new powers!!!!!
Same old crap.

It might be OK if words remained with deeds and meaning.
But sorri.
That time has gone.

Please think up a new way to classify folk into ... into ... into ...
Fuck it stink up, stink up a new way to sell the shit up shit up cock up crap.

Blame me I am a small Hermes
Shame .......
Sori if I get personal.
But
Shit stinks.

TROUSERS GETTING THE JUMP LEAD
Old Szwagipants is up to mischief again. ( see his site).
Poor trousers is getting sent up to the cleaners.
But he is on the run.
It's odds on right now.
Place yer bets.

For those in angst remember Sparticussipussy blogs awhile back.

And who said that Szwagiknickers was only a footnote to Plato?

NOVEMBER FIFTH SEES UK PARLIAMENT NERVOUS
It has come to my notice that any blog attempts to blow up the Houses of Parliament will be dealt with harshly.
The same goes for newspapers and general media. No mention no cry.

So I just thought I would remind folk.
Got my bonfire working.... have you?

No mention of Guy Fawkes either.
But I want a bonfire, I want a bonfire....

FIRST SNOW TURNS TO SLUSH
What next? The first snows have fallen but are quickly slushifying. What ever happened to lost virginity that remained flourishing? Black ice next methinks.
Anyway have made a big wood fire things pure and simple.

However a big problem early this morning. Too much existential thinking perhaps. As I had made a very hot cup of coffee I placed a spoon in the cup. Then it came to me. Was the spoon absorbing the heat so to allow me to drink the damned thing quicker or was that spoon keeping the whole thing hot for longer? That caused a few hours of hassle for me and if I write about it I do so in hope that it will just go away.
Then began to write my words for a publication. Boredom set in. So I played around with history and things got better.
Did you know that this year is a big year. 1307 was the year when that big girls blouse Edward 11 began his reign. He was to lose Scotland.
Let that be a history lesson for the big girls blouse beginning his reign in 2007.

Bit concerned about our Trousers though. Seems that the kegsman has been full of dreams turning into reality again. But this time it is a fairly well researched disease that is evident. It is called, Addastickstoyer, and is associated with a poor diet and a unhealthy desire to avoid a middle-aged-spread. We must keep a careful eye on this situation.

THIS WEEKEND IS SACRED
It is All SOULS WEEKEND and the damned shops are closed.
We had already suffered ALL SAINTS DAY and now ALL SOULS DAY is upon us and the shops are closed.
But, as no doubt the Finns will testify, it is the weekend when candles are placed on the gravestones. It is the first time that Finns make their wonderful candle-light displays with the dead but still remembered.

Graveyards are not always this way.
The worst graveyard I saw was in Prague.
The best in Finland.
But the frigin shops are closed.

Are there no limits to this respect for the dead?

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF
a) nothing left to lose
b) nothing left to gain
c) everything to consider

What would you say?

HAPPINESS
Outside and away from the correctional happy conscientisuch ( that is where even obvious words and deeds of Capitalism are self-evident and Godly yet forbidden ) there is another happiness.

There is the happiness that really warms and flourishes for and with folk.
It is a happiness that cannot be measured.

Happiness is a subversive community of beings as Being.
Therefore the adventure.........

APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR
After our annoying but always goodly Anticant receives an award I am tempted into strange lands.
What is this "appropriate behaviour" that the UK talks?
Could somebobby help me there, could somebobby tell me where I went wrong?
( sori that should have been "somebody" help me there)
Just a song no need for an accountable Barclays Bank ( who remembers South Africa?) but is this song appropriate.
Personally I wank at the Midland ! Good blue feminists are our future.

HOME RULE? NOT ENGLISH.
The English have always had a special skill. To twist words around so much as to always find the sun shining out of the English arsehole.
The British Empire ( with slaves from Wales, Scotland and Ireland) was of course a British Empire. Oh the English. ( was that "Brutish" Empire" get a medel for that)
Forever a bit of this England laid down and dead in a WORLD WAR. Yes that is right a First World War!
Dizzy obvious stuff this.
Holy Shiite now the English accuse the slaves of Wales and Scotland of being selfish and refusing the "window of opportunity" ( for finance centres in London) of Olympic football through an agreed Great Britain team.
Think it was football anyway.
Could have been a few other things too. ( oh yes)

I am not proud ( even in a soft and good way of being proud) of being born and first bred in England.
The only language Ican use in this high-warping-field, that is forever England, is this kind of language : GOOD BYE TO ALL THAT ( sori selfish I know but right to say).

But I do begin to understand the celebi-clubbi-britti-pity ways now a little more.
They have nowt to live-for but their imagined-selves in imagined communites. It is all very English. But fucked. Not even Wales or Scotland will support the image.
In fact much of the wider world moved long times past but that is another more significant issue.

SOLIDARITY? IS THAT CONSTIPATION?
Talking to a young student recently I brought up in conversation the 13000 nurses that all signed along the dotted line to quit unless they were finally ( after all these years) to receive a decent living wage.
I said too that solidarity was needed in this new kind of "strike" protest.
Why?
Because the governmental orrificeespits are already conspiring to defeat this valid claim by nurses. ( Make an example for others say the governmental elites). It is happening as we speak, right now as I write.
The nurses are going to lose this. ( read my headline again - constipation?)
But the way that they lose is now my main thought.

How can we lose well when the winners are a bunch of shits?

Scotch Corner Anyone?
Leyton Orient have sent out a call for help. They try to reach Doncaster for todays game. But somehow they arrived in Penrith. Pissed again said the local cuntstables who play rugby.
Is the A1 so difficult today in modern England?
Or is it just football chappies from the south?
For more information on this go to the BBC or ITV sites or phone me ( 32 euro per second per second).
What more do you expect from a Sunday when the clocks change.

THE CLOCKS HAVE CHANGED
And really it makes no damned difference at all

THE NECKLACE
Guy De Maupassant is asked to manage the blog-worlds.
Any more 24 packs arriving soon?
No woman no cry.

Back to the football.
But got to keep the bloggers satisfied
"Everything is going to be alright".

Ra Ra the Russian Team
Beat the Brits and put your hands in the air and give me yer money.

DADDY COOL SVEN
Just wait, just wait.
I am signing up for Norwich City.
Somebody has to do something.

Sven likes brown girls in the rain.

THE TIMES THEY ARE CONFUSING
Doing the best I can to keep to the rules of the blogland.
A 24 pack was placed on me mailbox last night.
You are all damned lucky that I am still here to be a regular blogger.
Then it happened.
I got out golden oldies.
Played the boxes and boxed the players.

Eyes and ears emerged this morning with Bony M ( but that was not me that was my daughter, mother, wife or ....).
Kill that cat I will.

Freddie Frinton I honour you.

Better than reading James Joyce.
Rules that is what is needed.

What happens if I get another 24 pack with Bony M.
Throw a wobbler I will and dance me legs a'plenty.

Musta stoppa this now football soon on Saturday.

NURSES AT THE DEATH BEDS
As 13000 nurses and "social" care professionals sign on the dotted line to resign then what happens. In Finland the smell of social things angers the government.
They signed a resignation letter to the Ministry and all that ( who deny responsibility as they try to "create" innovative private concerns.)
The government, paid by the citizen, denies responsibility for the lies and the deceit and the broken promises of generations.
The 13000 working folk will lose this.
The 13000 working folk have little or no support from the democratic majority and the image makers. Thios is true even if over 60% are supporting.
This 60% is a weak 60% and the government knows this.
Can you guess which ideological bits of info will win the day? Can you?

That this is no "strike" ( this is resignation) shows the problem. There is no real solidarity as community.

Can 13000 stick together just long enough to make a difference?
Can nurses and related workers kick off their chains of false morality-politics?

Next week you will know.

Right now I say that they will be fucked up again.
If not I will eat my hat.

DIFFICULT TO GO MISSING OR FISHING TODAY
There I was at the bingo when a tap on the shoulder was that kind of tap to notice. It was a policeman, a debt collector or LavenderBlue.
Thanks the Gods it was me old Lavender.
God knows why she was there in such a place but never mind for that.
Lavi won again by the way.
Then she refused to lend me sixpence for another game.
Time to go home she said.

BEFORE BINGO BECAME BINGO
Number one was the infamous eye of Kelly or something like that. So on the green line number one. All so simple unless some prat of an academic or silicon-valley-celeb comes along to ask the wrong silly questions. Then on the green line sweet sixteen ( time to get fucked and kissed forever green) 16 on the green.
On the blue line two fat ladies forever and never alone. 88 on the blue line. Stop throwing those coins at me Madam! On the blue 88.
On the Red line, quack-quack, two little ducks 22. Not on the blue, on the Red ,22.
On the yellow number 10. Number ten on the yellow.
On the yellow number 11, legs 11. Can you see them?
On the green line number 21, key of the door, Oopps.
On the green line number 18 key of the door. Ooooppps?
On the blue line 66 look at the p(r)icks on ........
..........
...............................
At least there is one corner of resisting-stance!!!
fuck it.....

DID ME BEST TODAY TO BE ALTRUISTIC
United Nations Day is celebrated by a few people today. ( Do you remember when?). Anyway your reliable and steadfast Zola decided to do the right thing.
Placed condoms on the Vatican bits that were seen to be erect.
One chappie, after his new hat, said God has blessed me in those strange ways.
Will the rest of the Vatican City lot condomscend to join the UN?

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
After our beloved Anticant and Merkin were shortlisted for the Paul Foot Award for 2007 it is rumoured, in high heavy circles, that Szwagi is well up for nominations for 2008.
Would like to say more but at this stage the gagging order is enforced.

THE LONELINESS OF A LONG DISTANCE BLOGGER
It is Nobel Prize time again. Or it was. Say again.
Anyway Hermann Hesse remains, say again, Hermes Hessipressi remains as the hermeneutic joke.
Why?
No idea about that.
Just like to run or walk or ramble around and about. So simple.

But here it is :-
" Ever since I was a boy I have been in the habit of disappearing now and then, to restore myself by immersion in other worlds. My friends would look for me and after a time write me off as missing. When I finally returned ......... ....... "
Hermann Hesse wrote that way.

Damn it, this is a cost to society. True.ancy.dancy is not goooood. dotty.com.
Being - ( away) from school is expensive. Bunking off school costs!!!

Going fishing again soon......

EIGHTY EIGHT IS TWO FAT LADIES

Roll up roll up, smack arse and slide in with the ripples.
No need for oil.

Speak Up, Speak Up, The Buggers At The Back Can't Hear
As the brutal religious force of Gawdi Brown-Arse rallied the congregation and claimed victory through the clap for four minute wonders there was heard one small voice from the gutter-press ( just before he was taken away).
This small voice pleaded for reasonable definitions of the words by the Prezzi-Brutarian Brown. This just before he was finally escorted into a "Brand New Big Tent" he was reported as yelling : " No, No, there are no tent pegs and the wind is a-coming-up-agin. I will not be collapsed into this postmodern doom".

With this in mind your duty-bound and moral Zola must Accuse yet again.
The Gawdi-Prezzi-Brutarian must define his terms in his postmodern way of refusing International(ism) politics.

Zola asked from a Labour supporter. The reply was simple and it was :-
" The Brutarian does not do International stuff.
- The Brutarian does not even do Glocalisation ( knows not what it means)
- The Brutarian refuses definitions on Globalisation and wobbles thereby.
- What the Gawdi-Brown Prezzi-Brutarian does do is GROBALISATION.

This is the Pink revolution that finally brings in the wets?

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
It was overheard, by my special source, during a WC break after the big Brown speech of Boredmouth that two CBI officials asked Prezzi-Brutarian Brown if he really meant what he said about this "British way" of morality, duty, respect and responsibility. The PM Brown replied : " Oh yes I did. But I did not mean it for the likes of you or I. You must have understood that from the very beginning, surely. But we must get a respect from below and they must show their duty and responsibility to our ongoing ways. It is not servitude I demand but voluntary servitude because that is the tradition of our wonderful Britian. Freedom is a British tradition. "
I leave it up to the forces of history to comment upon that little trickle-down of the information.

YEE-HAA SATURDAY IS HERE AGAIN just love Saturdays
Jose the special one is off for awile having done a smart deal with Man United and the Fergie man. Chelski will flop this year and not even reach Europe next year. Man Utd are happy and have offered Jose a job beginning in 2008. Now that really is good business and strange that most quality newspapers have not picked up on this. This is Gordon Brown politics in action. USA ways are the NU-Manchester.
Manchester City and the sapper Sven song are also quite happy at this news and as today is a shopping day Sven has promised to stay with Harrods. A 2-2 result is agreed and again everybody benefits. Sven will be in Europe next year. Do you see the trend? UK business politics is moving away from London.

Norwich play Wolves today. As I am on an anti-smoking regime-programme forgive me if my nerves show signs of stress. Doctor put me on this 90 day programme even after protests from the night nurses. Wanna fight anyone??????? Norwich play Wolves and the Norwich players have my sympathy for having to travel to those dirty places of the Midlands. Foul places.
Liverpool play Birmingham too today. Never understood why Birmingham even got admitted into any football league.
Lincoln are playing Grimsby. A wash out before it begins.
Ok nobody interested about that low lander event.

In the North-East they have a local Derby but Whitby has more going for it than this. That is saying something.
After the typical Scottish performances recently I refuse Scottish games this week. I also hate Gordon Brown.

Trousers asks me not to bring in any happening around the Derbyshire area. It seems that they still go walking on Saturdays and football is rather naff. Nowt good in Sheffield anyway so I shall respect the Trousers wish.

Norwich City cannot play Dublin today. He is banned due to a well known Mills. It is time that Mills bloke got a little review process. Oh yes... the nasty little sod.

Shit I want a smoke already!!!!!!!!

PREZZI-BRUTARIAN THE BROWNMOUTH CONFERENCE ITSELF
As Labor takes the annual holiday event so seriously we find Gawdi-Brown writing for the Guardian. Who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler?
Best comment this far was : " I do not believe you Mr Brown".

But will Trade Union members avoid the inevitable clap?
Will combinations ( active citizenship ) form again and use the only peaceful way of protest to change things that need changing? Will collectives come out in full support of nurses? Will the Prezzi-Brutarian be challenged for real?

I have my doubts. Big doubts. Sad sad doubts. In fact I am digusted and feel bad enough to say that if the UK votes for such a man then it really deserves what it gets. But that is a terrible attitude to take. I know it and feel it.
Such is the level of disgust.

A " RICH MANS PLAYTHING " ?
Such are the words spread around today. Chelski and Northern Rock meets with the Arms Industry. Boys with toys. Shame that so many people like to play even when it is not in their own "interest".
Shame.
I guess I just go blogging agin.
Maybe sing a song : Laughter in the Rain. But it is all the same.

Think I remember my grandfather saying this self-same thing.
Damn it can I remember... does history work.....
Asbestos I say. Asbestos.

IF ANY ONE CAN SHOW A BRITISH HIGH MORAL GROUND...Then....
Zola is open to all-comers here. Try to be anyway.
But I cannot see British morality and I cannot see any reason or feeling to support a British standpoint in African or even International relations.
It is all a bit like chemical weapons - they come back at the brits on a windy day.
Shit too many examples..........

I am not proud to have been born British.

EU - AFRICA and Gawde-Brown Arse
It would be a good thing if the UK Brown-Arse did not attend the meeting.
If the UK wants to send a "lower-ranked" official OK but you cannot get much lower than the UK right now.
Who can sink down lower than a Brown-Arse?
Sori to be so crude.
But the Great Britain image must be kept clean.......

FREE EVALUATION FOR YOU
Due to a wonderful cooperation with the Readers Digestive Zola can offer you a free evaluation of your very own well-being.
All you have to do is answer the questions below and give your postcode.
The questions :-
1) Do you pay for your own insurance policy?
2) Do you own your insurance policy?
3) Do you refuse insurance policies?
4) Do you understand nothing of these questions?

5) Do you own land?
6) Do you possess land?
7) Do you have cultural capital?
8) Do you have no idea what these kinds of questions really mean?

9) Do you grow your own food or join with others locally in food production?
10) Do you smoke?
11) Do you enjoy a bum-burner-curry on a Friday night?
12) Do you use cosmetics?

BLOG ME, BLOG ME, BLOG ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK
Ringo Starr is in trouble we hear. Invited up to the stage he was. Sang a song he did. But as always he was playing a different game. He acted naturally again singing :-
" Lady Diana, Children at your feet,
Wonderin how you manage
To make ends meet "
But he believed that he was singing the song.
Sir Paul McStarkers did not press charges.
Let the blogs tell the truth, said Ringo : " I meant no harm to anyone. I just tried to act naturally".
Did Ringo get the words wrong?

BLOGGERS ARE THE SOULMATES OF CAPITALISM
Before more ado about nothingless let me plead a Limited Liability as Zola is not a real person. Zola is a protected species of nothingless itself.
In Finland Wednesday is, say researchers, the gloomy day for most folk at work. It is Mondays that are gloomy for schoolkids.
The weather is better today.
The working class begin agin to pick up the pieces.
Ah history bleeds itself to banality.
Can't think of much more to say today. Limited you see.
Nationalise me if you can.

Who Does This Remind You About?

" There was a young Lady of Riga
Who smiled as she rode on a Tiger.
They returned from the ride
With the Lady inside,
And a smile on the face of the Tiger. "

Answers please by phone ( 0077-101101-911 ) 1 Euro per minute.
( you may find a small waiting time due to congested lines but stay calm )

NOT "WASTING TIME"
Due to recovery periods, happily wrapped up in bed ( no comments about that the neighbour please, I used to be British) boredom creeps in. However as this period of grobble-Capitalism begins, again, to burst the end of the over-extended condom your getting fit for purpose Zola has been reading hundreds of pages concerning the Hitler years between the 1920s and the 1930s. Many seem to see a connection between then and today. Thought I would check it out for myself as my memory is always in need of new support and evidence. ( Shit I really thought i was playing for Norwich Sunday night!!)

Anyway the links are there. Compare Georgi Bushikus with Adolficus speeches. In fact the number of sure links are rather terrible and even an old fart like mesen did not think that these links were so clear and brutal. I have been too trusting.

Will continue and try to show this ... a few 300 pages of stuff yet to fondle ( so long as the neighbour behaves herself that is).
But hope to give some main examples soon.
It keeps me off the streets and away from the bars and Berlin.

SATURDAY Arse Out Of Bed Time
Norwich City are playing one of those namby-Pamby London clubs today and I hope my efforts to get out of bed are well rewarded.
Scotland had a gay day in Paris I hear and a certain McFodder became a hero and stuck a thistle up his back passage before running around the pitch at the end of play. Well it takes all types.
Liverpool are keeping over 50 million of credit away from the public as the benches play safe with credit. Shining example to London from the pool. Crouch is back after rumours that he was to be burnt alive due to foot and mouth disease.
Damn it Leeds dis-United keep on winning and move away from relegation zone. At this rate Gawdi the Prezzi-Brutarian Broon will take lessons from Herra Bates.

ZOLA RETURNS
After a few days with needles, nurses, doctors and hospitals I'm back. Knackered but back.
The truth was the night nurses demanded my return for a prolonged spell and who was I to refuse that call to duty.
Resume some blogging soon when energy levels get on the up.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
It has been reported that Gawdi-Brown Arse has been taking over the puppets and manipulating them from "behind". ( and there was I thinking that the Punch and Judy show in the UK still rated as a must-see event).
Lordi(soon to be) Gawdi, Brown Arse has been using the fine old art of a puppeteer as a subtle disguise for what really is beneath.
In search for his pupilarity-status ( Scots Law) to be upgraded Gawdy-Brown Arse has started to beat upon unmarried women with his wicked stick.
But, it seems OK. His popularity is good enough to get elected again.

By The Way : What is it with big ears? Blair, Bush and Brown, Charlie boy?
Take a look in the mirror I must.

GAWDI-BROWN ARSE HITS OUT AT THE CULTURE OF VIOLENCE
In good old conservative and religious tradition the so called leader of the UK government tells his world that YOUNG people are at-risk from the sex and the violence on techno-things like TV and DVD. What we need, he says, is a new social contract. We must help those to help themselves to better value-added pursuits.
Did we not hear this many years ago from the USA leaders of cultural violence?
Have we not heard this term "at-risk" already quite enough in an uninsurable world of an unsustainable political-economy?
No matter Brown-Arse will blame and shame just the same. In his tradition you see.

Much better, I suggest in humble fashion, is to build upon protest and participation for real whereby politicos and bussinessicos will be blamed and shamed for their nasty promotions of their culture of violence !!!!!!!!
Therapy courses are, of course, needed here for politicians "at-risk".
How can we help politicians to avoid this culture of risky violence?
For Gawdy-Gawdy sakes we need such a "programme" and help-line!

GAWDI-BROWN ARSE FINDS HIS BALLS
The new "Prezzi-Brutarian" Herra Brown relies on his Balls to lead the way in the latest intelligence test for the UK re-puke-an-lic. The early morning gatherings today are to be all together now, all together now. After a viewing from the big screen of Osprey Williwinbe there will come a group, well-being, song sung by the mass as mass. The song goes :-
" I feel I am I know I am
I'm H.A.P.P.Y
I'm happy, I'm happy
I feel I am
I know I am,
I'm H.A.P.P.Y.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
An ongoing investigation of the Harold Wilson files ( it was said that Wilson forbid the works or words of George Orwell to be "even thought about" ) has been, again, halted and this time the order comes from the "New Prezzi" Gawdy Brown. Before, the good reader will recall, it was both Thatcher and Blair that stopped this investigation as it was not, they claimed, in "the National Interest". ( it was only in the interests of those revolting peasants that run hospitals and trains and pay graduated pensions!!!). But the Harold Wilson files have been put back into that box and away from freedom of information.
However, it is rumoured that there are more middle class peasants revolting today and to publish the Harold Wilson "memos" would make a tidy buck as well as rock the boat of Blatcherism. One family member of the Wilson reproductive-circle has even said ( although un-printable as yet) that " Why should Thatcher and Blair take all the credit when my father was already there many years before?"
Also banned from public eyes is a quote from Edward Heath concerning the " lean to the right of a Wilson regime when our society should find the middle ground of a new Europe ...... and avoid the wars that will come along through the new Fascism that is slowly creeping into a debased Labour party..."

SOCKING IT TO TROUSERS AS SERIOUS STUFF
In my last post I used the "quaint" term "grobble". Trousers asked about this word although really the picture of Mr Punch and Judy showed it all a thousand times or more already. However as Trousers is keen and clean in most of his ways the Zola feels quite obliged to be serious and to say more about this " to grobble or be grobbled or to be involved in grobble and grobbling". However there is also "grobbl(ed)" which has an educational intent and/or consequence, manifest or latent - this can be intentional or unintentional, also, and even, have no obvious consequences, at least for now - and I must leave it up to the French Intellectuals to sort out the rest. However a few guidelines :-

1) Grobble has a Finngelski origin rather than a Latin origin. Grobble is a term of and for the blogosphere as a written Oral Tradition.
2) Grobble is a process rather than a A-nouning-act ( it is also verbing the world). In this the grobble is situated before and beyond idle definition. It is also relational.
3) A "grobble" is related, in the process, to a fairly predictable set of timetabled happenings which often, but not always, display a blurred pattern, as in a) a "goosing", b) a "giggle" and, c) a "gobble. Then; d) a gaggle to be followed by a "real grobbling event". ( who said the postModern has no timetables?)
4) It is rumoured that one part of this oral tradition of the grobble is also related to a certain Beadle surprising, an oft mentioned, Mrs Malaprop to such an extent that she was to try and speak out loud with her mouth full ( not a usual politeness from Mrs Malaprop) so who can tell in this world without origins? Far be it for me to promote rumour but in the name of truth your Zola does is best to inform.

Zola hopes that this serious post helps all TEFL professionals to grapple with the evolution of EEOT ( English as an Evolutionary Oral Tradition). It is also hoped that Trousers will find his lost sock now and find that extra footing he seeks. My god I will need all the help I can get if Butwhatif starts up agin. So Zola is serious and kindly today.

IS THIS THE END OF THE REAL MR PUNCH?
In a grobble with Judy after all that?
But this is the NuLabor ending it seems.

Just to re-cap. The crocodile did get the sausages and the baby was thrown into the linen basket ( nice and soft there) and the policeman was knocked abit with the infamous stick but all was well.

Professor Pulson left out the BABY WITH THE CROCODILE.
Punch did NOT give the baby to the crocodile.
And please do not say yes he did because no he did not.
Your poor Zola was almost in a tantrum when this happened.
But NyLabor refused to support Prof Pulson and his Punch and Judy show so I wonder if this is the way to get cultural capital today in the UK.
Just change the main story-lines.

So there was a happy ending.
Moral of story : do not rock the boat or feed the baby to the crocodile.

Punch and Judy Continued as the Baby Becomes An Issue.

How will this baby grow up we ask.
Is Judy trying to steal the baby from Mr Punch?
Why does Judy have strange shapes emerging from her nether back lower regions?
The baby smiles.

E-Cheques have arrived and I trust my clients I do.
I am also a respectable provider of pubic services.
So the next stage of the saga of Punch and Judy may be activated.
Unless we hear anybody from the backbenchers yelling out no more, no more or Merkin has never been really married before but he is on our files as married.

FIRST PERFORMANCE SOON ( get yer subscriptions at the ready)
The Punch and Judy antidigital display warms up.
Apologies to Professor John Pulson from Southwold for any future anarchy. You must remember that the Southwold NuLabor Council does not contribute which means that they would find it difficult to sue. But Prof John Pulson deserves respect as a host of young children and I joined in this wonderful frolic of seaside delight.

To subscribe to this long awaited performance just :-
a) answer the question below well, and
b) send a e-cheque to anti-depress@Trousers.dottycom
The question is : Is Mr Punch a good role model for the young people of today?

AND THE BAND PLAYED WALTZING MATILDA
In "absolute essence" says another NyLabor layabout with a Brown nose. The EU will be reformed constitutionally with a treaty that was well negotiated for UK folk by the one and only Blatcher-Patcher anti-unionist imsen.

I hear the "Four Green Fields" is rarely sung today. Shame.
Everybody trusts their very own "absolute essence" and in the UK this suits a few, a very few, a very very very few, people.
But my sons have sons as proud as ever their father.........

ZOLA : A GOOD CONSERVATION(ally)IST YES?
As the UK includes wonderful hedgehogs in their plans to conserve wonderful things your exiled Zola feels proud.
Serve the hedgehogs every evening I do. I take out that which the cat leaves as unfinished and to stink the house out. I add lots of water and place in a dish which the hedgehogs have fun with as they love to tip the dish up and engulf themselves inside as if wearing a dishy hat.
The cat keeps those nasty long tailed, black, ratti-like ( never conserve those nasty things) creatures at bay by hunting and eating. Birds pick up the pieces the fussy pussy refuses. Brown things too are not for conservation says our cat. Fussy Pussy? Never would vote NyLabor you know.

But I smell a rat here somewhere. What about all this wonderful or nasty labelling. The wicked and wonderful Merkin for example is in need of conservation. Why does the UK government not include the Merkin under this conservation plan?

I suspect that Mrs Malaprop(a doodle-dandy) is another breed that needs help.
I would say the same for our tasty LavenderBlue if it were not for the fact that she will reproduce her species no matter what others say or do ( when women began to refuse the bra as an act of liberation LaviBlue was already refusing knickers). But there should be, at least, a special day put aside for our always threated Lavigal. She might always gain a few bucks ( Bucks I said!!!).

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
Calls in Greece for arsonists to be probed.
Government spokesman said : "This could take some time, but I cannot think of a better way."
According to police reports the insurance companies are saying that this was an act of God.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT SUNDAY?
There I was content and hazing around on a Sunday morning when news comes. The first winter-wood supplies would arrive soon.
This year we have ordered our wood from a local family that will sell us those most precious birch logs.
But, goddamit on a Sunday ( especially after a long Saturday trying to educate LavenderBlue on football and Nottingham).
To cut (ouch) and long story short... this week will be the death, yet again, of the drinking classes. This is no mere bundle. This is...... 5 trailers of logs.
The only good things are that, first we keep warm in winter. Second, everytime I use that chain saw I get good vibrations.
Zola is a very erect greenie when he has a chain saw working.
Better than the coal mines.

COME ON KILLE YOU HAVE A NORWICH LAD NOW
Never liked those Rangers lot anyway..........
Sami Hyypia has been banged by Sunderland bring on Tommy Smith we say!!!

For those in denial or withdraws-a-plenty the Punch and Judy stuff comes soon.

Bank of England ( privatised Brown-points as England that is) Says....
These debts will remain social debts not economic debts.
As GDP ( whoever cared for that under Blatcherisim?) sinks under personal debt and responsibility and as being a bankrupt no longer is being a kraut-jew ( just look at the football me lads) - as GDP is fucked to the personal debt-culture industry then it is best for UK folk to move away methinks.
Money-for-money-for-money is but a risk-upon-risk-upon-risk.
What we need is a risk-upon-risk-upon-risk analysis.

Fuck me when I was a virgin.............
But now I need three condoms AND a wank at the end !!!!! ( sori more if you please and tease me no more).
The Triple-X-factor? Oh so very personal ---- sori.

KEEP THE FRIENDLY HOME FIRES BURNING
OK the US kills a few Brits again in friendly fire. OK? Not ok.
But nor is it OK for Big brits to kill "Others" in friendly fire, so there.

It is all OK as our "Ken" weeps and bleeps from a London centre.
It is all OK as Brits still remain tied and tried to a tradition that was never really OK anyway. But that "Centre" cared little for the real Fringes outside of ........
Me fingerprints are on code 27564.
Public knowledge that although I cannot say more.
In fact I cannot even use !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very often

MY UK THERAPIST HAS ASKED ME TO EAT MORE MEAT
The Elk ( some fools call it a Moose) farts too much and damages the carbon copy of an eco-sphere (? , umm, yes...). Anyway the Elk farts too much for human healthy and wealthy programmes.
What can be said?
Elk meat is really good.
I mean bootiful-bestest-good.
Kill more Elk and save the world.
Love the meat the Dr Feelgood said.

If you want to play a part in this programme just read " THE Times" and then slot into the first available flight to the Nordic Lands ( THE Times will help you here).
Stop farting Elk we say. Save our world. The Queen of England supports this as farting is not a done-thing.
UK professors support this too as they think ( even if not bloggers) that farting is just not a decent word to use in society.
Stop the farting Elks.

After review I must say that the Merkin and Anticant are already under investigation and I have heard that soon Trousers and LavenderBlue will be inspected for elk-like anti social behaviour. Anna Mr is already keeping low key on this because her beloved Finland is involved ( and she has contacts, by text massages, to the Forign Minister).

All responsible citizens hold hands and spiritually call for forgiveness as there is a fear that Mrs Malaprop farts too.

AT NO TIME SHOULD YOU ....
After the BBC and other respectable media barons covered Keith Richards and the Rolling Stones on-stage-acts of smoking ( yes smoking!!!!) we see that the Beeb asks for photos from those that were present at such stage acts. Fair enough we suppose and good interactive journo stuff. But then comes the warning :-
" At no time should you endanger yourself or others, take any unnecessary risks or infringe any laws. " ( from the BBC )


Perhaps this BBC risk-management statement could be applied to the UK war mongers that enjoy long summer holidays in the silly season.

Methinks the father of Mr J. Depp is OK but something else is a bit wrong. I cannot just put my finger on it.

TRANSPARENCY IS THE LEARNING-CURVE CURRENCY HERE
If you respond well to the question below you will receive a 6 month free trial for the now well awarded Zola-Ink-Spots information source.
Add your culture and cultural awareness to your CULTURAL CAPITAL.
Soon there will be the betting-blog ( already hailed as the bestest of blogbets) and those that sign up before the 25th of September 2007 will receive free £10 bets for anything related to bets on a future terrorist attack in Greenland.
Answer well the question below and you become an accredited member. If you answer correctly you will be linking to other future wins and still be free to bet again. You will become a value-added addition to our already growing stakeholding economy for all.

The question is : What is the link between Readers Digestive Bickies and Nixon Tricky Dickies when it is compared to Toni Blair and Homer.
Just e-mail your answer to : antiscanti.promotions@willibill.com

LANGUAGE : A GAME OF OUR TIMES
In English speaking cultures ( and not meaning those strange people that speak English as a Foreign Language better that Brits speak their own) We have found, through detailed and solid research, that the most popular mind-set word is "ME". The second most popular is "I" used as a word directly.
Also we found that the term "APPROPRIATE" is another sign of these times and places.

Sources reveal that the Queen of England has taken an interest in this. ITV, the Brit TV station, makes a bid to cover this cultural industry wave of anti-wee and me-pee stains on the red carpet.

Some bloggers have been interviewed already. ITV will not give out details but it is appropriate to say that many bloggers want secretly to be Queens. However, it seems that the bloggers take only themselves as the subject.
We will try to keep you updated on this significant issue.

Damit NO SLEEP for a Zola in these storms of discontent
UK seeks a "Topless" image and they label it e-quality.

I suspect that a few "down-to-earth" nether-regions are needed here before the UK can really shake em down ( Do you love me, do you love me now that I can dance...)
Shit shit take it all down..... down, down .....
Like a mashed spud
Peel it all off
Feel me, fell me, FOIL me
DO YOU?
Love me.....
Do you like it like that?

£40 OFF FREE BBQ FOOD FOR EVERY READER AT BLOGLAND !!!
For details buy today's PUN Newspaper.
All Guaranteed by GARTER SNAKE BELT Ltd.UK.

Your adorable Zola really ought to sleep right now methinks.

THE DOMESTICATION OF BLOGGER AWARDS
Jesus wept this stuff is becoming an institution.
Narcissus and Nasturtium es(t) spiritus dum fortussusssus.
Forte non superb-e-baywatch I say.
If I get involved in any more of these blogger awards and tugs and tags I will throw a wobbler and print picts of ME topless.
Could I pass a GSCE with that?
Could I become a A-Class Blogger ?

Bloggers are ok and I enjoy the real fray (when it appens) but all these blogger awards are just too much for a ZO-ZO-BEER to take.
Save me from getting pissed again on all this!!!!
Save ME pleezze!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe too late.....

WHAT IS IT ABOUT HORSES ?
Horses bring fear to so many but joy to "others".
But maybe that is something to do with riders in their storms.
I say "Votes for Horses".
Votes for women too !!!!
But woman meat and horse or cow meat ( or milk) is under investigation.
Votes for men too !!!!

Eat yer testicles I will.

When mad cows get prime TV time why do horses get ignored when they are just waiting to be the next in the next stud-line?

Votes for WEASELS and ROGUES and banjo players.
Votes for Imps too.

This is called the "Enlighticementisementi"process.
Just call this the anticimentiparty vote if you will.
Votes for all?
Leap up an down with yer knickers in the air - OK.

ZOLA TRICKERY OUTED BY YOUNG UPSTART
It has been a very bad weekend for so many. SVEN-the-Grey and his Asian cash flow new-blue dolls ousted the USA in RED-Manchester UNITED. Denmark apologises for this.

Protest in the UK kicked in the teeth yet again by Black Knights on horseback. Never known this before ..... as referenced by a solid researcher of modern antiques. It will never happen again Prime Minister you are free now to ......

But to cap it all that wicked hairy-hunky and horny Merkin has openly implied that Zola is living in history and is an old-fart. Zola is abused for not keeping his blogrole up to date. Lawyers are working on this right now.

There is more. I was spotted on Sunday doing three terrible things. First riding a bicycle to a forest area. Second, on a Sunday, riding alongside me missus. Third spotted picking blue berries and taking them home.
I was spotted and told, on the spot, that if i did not own up to these anti-capitalist acts of potential terror I would be spread all over the internet.
So I confess.
I did those damned things and on a Sunday too.
Cheaper for me to have me self-esteem and public image knocked to pieces than hire another lawyer methinks.

It was a bad weekend for so many.

James Taylor : a "Great Song Writer".
After a few hips and flicks, pricks and kicks, we learn that James Taylor was a good singer-songwriter.
This from his "trouble and strife" ( wife) Carly Simon.
Anticipation now gets a new meaning and ok for that.
The world keeps spinning around.

So close your eyes.... It's ok

Better sometimes to hear the music through your feet or your hands.
better to play.
Just play.

Hells Angels and Neighbourhood Watch
Can't think of anything more to say on that one really.

WIKIPEDIA : just a wee update
OK Wikidpeadia has been really wikedified. Jesus wept the truth gets warped. For fucks sake tell us something new.
The Independent newspaper still says that Wikipedia is bent upon "democratic acts of knowledge". Sori. Just not true. Wikipedia refuses democratatisation of knowledge as has always said that. Independent please correct your truth claims.

However. FIRESTONE ( infamous rubber trye people of Formula 1) quickly deleted my informative posts concerning slave labour.
In educational circles I found that the trade marked "Outward Bound" had hijacked the total outdoor adventure education site. My alternative comments were blocked. But here the main editor half admitted this in public.

Wikipedia is not good and not bad.
But some people that manipulate it deserve a telling off ( fuck it that was too polite methinks).
What do you expect for a Saturday..........?

PRICEWATERHOUSECOOPERSAGINANDAGINASHISTORYISASOFTOPTION
row row row your boat gently down the stream..........
Or in other words ---- Fail yer A levels and get an education.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO " PUNCH " ?
What indeed happened to Punch?
Would love to know.

I blame it on those that forced me to go to bed with boxing gloves on me hands.
never been the same since.....

TRI-BRUTE TO GI ELVIS THE PELVIS
With an early apology to Cliff Richards, just in case of litigation UK style.

1. GI Elvis had never been able to read Spike Milligan so he lost the war and helped get more and more fighters for that lost cause. When Elvis died the music lived again. I remember then saying that this is the day when fuck music returns.

2. We would not have had the "Monkys" if Elvis had not sponsored them or taught them how to play real-good guitar. I am not a believer.

3. I have a bigger-dickus and do not need some Tom Jones/ Mick Jagger jockstrap to turn you all on. ( actually I may be fibbing here a little for a just cause.)

Breaking Wind-E-News
Keith Richards, commented yesterday, that " If Bliar gets 6 million then I want 7. In fact I want more than Bliar and Clapton gets together. "
Vanity Press is reported to be in negotiations.

FINANCIAL CRISIS OR SAME OLD STORY?
After the Reith Lectures and the past few weeks of "volitile" markets poor Zola is forced into the "Serious Stuff".
Firmly written words say that those that end up taking those risks are those that are in no position to handle those risks. Those that make those risks are quite able to handle those risks.
What is more is that those that end of paying for those risks are those that can least afford it.
The point?
Same old story.

JUST A QUICKIE ON UK LANGUAGE GAMES
As said before the UK language games are either management training spraket ( you know those targets and things) or psycho-babble USA style. But there is another language game that I picked up on the recent travel. It relates to medico-verbosity ( and nobody seemed to know the meanings behind those words that they used).
For example I learnt about one person who had had a "STRAPADICKTOME" operation and I was told that that explained the constant smile and the wide open eyes.
Can anybody advise on this?
Would love to know........

SINCERE APOLOGIES : BEFORE ME INK GETS BLOTTED
There has been another delay in the Punch and Judy Show report. This has been due to a minor fauz pas cum technical hitch ( quite common for Zo.Zo.Beer).
This most regular blogsite tries so hard to maintain timetables and to keep the regularity intact but sometimes there is a "Waiting for Godot" virus that is one unintentional consequence of Modern Times at work.
So, until I can re-manage this global promise I hope you will be happy and keep up your consumer confidence through this little ditty-bit :-
" Habit is the ballast that chains the dog to his vomit. "

WEIGHTY ISSUES FROM THE UK
On return to Finland I have noticed that I have "put on" 6 kilos. Those full English cooked breakfasts could not be refused. In fact I was usually first in for breakfast with tongue hanging out and mouth watering. Add to that my early morning papers and this 6 kilo weight begins to make sense. I really must change my reading habits and get the Megastar rags. Better for me ealth.
But no worries. I can still see me penis without looking in the mirror.
Ah the most important things in life.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS RECORDED
Trip to UK.
From aeroplanes through to airports I failed to understand the English language announcements. All sounded strange to me. It seemed like many large concerns employed "speakers" that could not speak clearly.
Result = few listened.

I was so fed up with this towards the end that I was beaten into rage. I firmly asked one check-in supervisor : " What the fuck are you talking about", as I struggled to make sense of even the 50% that I managed to semi-understand.

There was me thinking that the UK was serious about safety messages.
Oh well, just goes to show.....

And
A little goodie that deserves mention :-

" Some call it Madness. Others say it is genius.
Marmite AND Guinness
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait".

Yes Marmite Guinness ( Alcohol Free : Limited Edition )

Good for Hangovers I am told.
Not helped much this far but I can wait.

Bringin It All Back For ME
From the UK I did bring back, as Customs eyes were wide, BRANSTON PICKLE and another BRANSTON with "small chunky bits".

Also in my bag I packed : -
a) My long missed Hume and Smollett "History of England" ( leather bound beauty of four volumes which I nearly sold in the Charing Cross Road - due to me missus saying that we were over-spending on our UK jolly jaunt).
b) Another BRANSTON PICKLE
c) A DVD for a fiver : " Life of Brian".
d) Smelly socks
e) A wonderful tee-shirt concerning Aszbo promotions
f) My discharge papers from the Royal Marines
g) My missing works from Karl Marx
h) More Branston Pickle
i) The signature of Orlando Bloomy-boomy ( for my youngest daughter you will of course understand).
j) Electric pictures from the Punch and Judy show on the beach at Southwold.
k) ......... and a few more odds and sods

Jesus... Am I really that normal?

Thank God I am saved.
I forgot to mention the other ten jars of BRANSTON PICKLE

THIS IS NOT A PUBLIC TEXT but ....
Lord Somerleyton asks for help with his radical postmodern son ( soon to be the Lord imself). At 35 years of age still no fine woman to pin im down and re-create the pure pleasures of recreational pursuits. - this young eligable guy is in need. Father, who has been the Master of the Gee-Gees, seeks a stable companion for the airy-fairy-son.

Well LavenderBlue : I gave im your address although, with hindsight, I might have asked you first. Owever : job done.

To help you a little my LavenderB I can tell you that the soon-to-be Lord failed in his first big duty. He was to manage the pub on the estate ( Duke's Head). But at 35 years of age he has time on his side if he can find a "Woman on Top" to pin im down.

They have very nice gardens too.