Tuesday, January 13, 2009

GOVERNMENT GRANT GIVEN TO ANTICANT

A substantial funding incentive is given to the infamous Anticant.

The task is simple : To increase Anti-Social Mobility.

When asked a government official said that this Anticant has already proved his value in these arenas of "grey" and "gay" borders. It was said that the Anticant can be fitted for purpose.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Patience : A Virtue of Nature?

Human Nature the nature of virtue?

Take your pick and vote for your Idol.


WHEN HAS A BIG BOY BEEN ...

... Taken to court and convicted of illegal arms dealings and receivings?
Now I mean a big boy here.

Friday, January 09, 2009

MY POOR OLD COCK DIED

My poor old cock was to large for the shelf
So it stood many years on the floor.
It was taller by half than a GILF himself
But it weighed not a pennyweight more.
It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born
No longer my treasure and pride

It stopped short, never to go again
When old GILF man spied.
But his life seconds numbering tick-tock-tick-tock
His ID is fumbling tick-tock-tick-tock
His gold watch a crumbling tick-tock-tick-tock

Me cock is a rumbling rumbling rumbling

Better than a second coming methinks.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

NIGELLA I AM SO SORRY BUT ...

It has been revealed. Me past has come back to haunt me.
I have no choice but to admit that I was on TV in the 1980s with my own recipe.
Yes on a kind of cook-food-thing programme.

However all is not lost. I remain standing up proud in front of Nigella.

My half an hour was with pea soup mixed with me own special things.
Pea soup a metaphor for the times.

Sorry Nigella I never meant to get you out of bed in the early hours.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

A DAY IN THE LIFE

Yeeha : The sun has just shown its face above the horizon. It is half an hour before mid-day. Yeeha.
Temperature at about minus 20 degrees C so not too bad there either.

Me wood fire burns well although the smoke from the chimney refuses to rise as it prefers to fall back down to earth which means it smells a bit.

Making today a wholesome Cottage Pie mixed heavily with cheese and onion. I also add a little Marmite into it all but this is a secret because me missus cannot stand Marmite when she knows it is there.

Perhaps I should have been a diplomat.




Monday, January 05, 2009

IF ISRAEL REALLY WANTS TO EXPAND ... then

a) Get a bigger penis anyways - get scientific !
b) Get back your DAVID as you are now a GOLIATH.
c) Or just leave ; as most folk do well when they leave your place.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

WHAT CARE I FOR WIND OR WEATHER ?

Steal your soul, boys
Don't let it go boys,
Sail it homeward
To Bonkers Bay.

and then :-

Bonkers Bay
And walk ashore
Blogger Lads for evermore.
Bonker lads ......

Ah well - best get back to the seas agin methinks.
Not fit to live on shore.

Happy New Year to Ya'll

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

GAWDI THE PINK THE PINK THE PINK

Just for the fun of it.

Gawdi the pink the pink the pink
Refused to think to think to think, as,
The saviour of the human race a-cest

But he has invented a medicinal compost
Most creditable in every way.

Monday, December 29, 2008

2008 WAS FULL OF PRETTY BOYS AND POLLY-PARROTS

The free-market religion is not dead it is only sleeping.
The magic of Madoff remains until the Hobbits can muster up courage to go on their quest for the Holy Snail.

Friday, December 26, 2008

THE BLUES RUN THE GAME
IT will come as a shock to me regulars but "red" gets an ASBO today and me normally colourful displays are thought to be nasty and threatening to those poor sensitive souls of generation Z. But I am allowed to use "green".

BUT : Damn it all Harold Pinter must somehow continue. We have just lost, this Xmas, Adrian Mitchell. We have lost our beloved "Cat Women" and her old fashioned house. Damnit it is time to be red on the bed, beside the bed and sometimes under the bed. This may sound potty but that is the price you pay for such word-games that meddle.

It seems to me that the Bushy-Pussy-Blairy-Fairy-Broonie-Foonie lot have been lucky with their Xmas pressees this year.
For 2009 it is time for decent folk to get a few nice presents and gifts and create a few scenes that inspire. Bring on THE ANGRY YOUNG FOLK.

Or will you keep telling me lies so that I must smash the mirror to see what is JUST behind?


Monday, December 22, 2008

TELL ME LIES ABOUT ..............
Adrian Mitchell is dead. On this bastardly blog, like on trillions of other blog-mind(ed) bastardly sites of construction, Mitchell lives as family.

Tell me lies about Vietnam................

Put your penis in (w)rappers
Tell me lies.

Paint your blogs in perfume
Spray your words with spin
Say me
Inappropriate
Sell me lies.


WHAT CAN YOU SAT WHEN YOU ARE LATE AGAIN ?
Oh OK - What Can You SAY if that is better.
Fail me SATS I do all the time.

No I am not pregnant.

It was a couple of days travelling on trains. In fact about 24 hours on the train and the rest doing that which train travellers do betwixt and between such enlightening, sparky, beasts on the rails.

As my good readers well know I am not one to complain overmuch but this time I really must insist on a public personal protest.

The bar in the restaurant wagon closed at 03.00 hours in the morning and I still had 4 hours of travel left to suffer on my return journey.

Whatever happened to public service?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

"WE" HAVE NOT DONE VERY WELL AT ALL
Perhaps it was the perfumes of perfection that ended up smelling of that awful body ordour.
Maybe it was, but a mere mistake, human, all so very very human.

But I cannot say that either we or I or us have done very well at all unless I or "we" look and learn with everyday folk.




Monday, December 15, 2008

ROYAL MAIL ALREADY PRIVATISED
Reports from the UK incline again to the incredible pressi-pissi.
The Royal Mail needs privatisation, it is said, by those above us and by those that do not need to deliver.

But THE Royal has always been private even if with a public face and paid for by the public purse.

But the mail has always been private. Open my mail and I will get quite pissed off.

Such is the ideology that is within the stamp of the Queen.

THIS VOMIT BUG IS A PEST

Stay indoors and just think about things.
Trust your government to close all the doors and control this pest.

Report any illnesses that you see to the highest authority that you know.
This Plague potential must be prevented at all costs.

Internet chat is allowed because the plague cannot travel without real human hands and blood and mud.


Friday, December 12, 2008

ETERNALLY RETURNING AS DISPOSITION

" To burn itself on a funeral pile and to rise again from the ashes,
In the freshness of youth.
To be",,,, To be
That which is recycled .........

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

OH DEAR ME IT WAS REALLY ALL SO SIMPLE
After my recent AWOL ( I do the sob sob story you do the hug hugs stories) it has all come back into focus. Any day now, anyway now, I shall be released from that continuous losing of the marbles.

It was all so simple then after waking up and finding myself working class agin : Made mesen beans and chips and eggs all mashed in vinegar and salt.

Bliss ..................... nowt green or red or blue on the plate at all.

Friday, December 05, 2008

DEAR Marje
I have been asked to display my self in a competition for the most buutiful old fart that remains doing lectures at a University.
Perhaps this is quite inspiring as who knows what such a display might lead up to.
On the other hand I feel I am too intellectual and mature for such an event and I feel rather exploited already.

Can you give me advice?

Thursday, December 04, 2008

NEW UK SURVEY REVEALS HIGH LEVEL OF ABUSE

The IRATA think-tank group have published their conclusions from a five year study concerning abuse in the UK.
It is revealed that between 80 and 90% of UK folk are badly abused.

This rather academic and dry report was not sponsored by the Duke of Westiminister of Coy.


Wednesday, December 03, 2008

UK LEADS THE WAY
We hear that, at long last, UK folk can rest in their beds easily now. The introduction of LIE DETECTORS is to become the reality.

The next trials are due to be held today during the Queens Speech and thereafter during the responses from the right honourable members of P.

By this afternoon some time all will be revealed.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE BOYS SAY THE BRITS

A survey of European males informs us that the French are very well hung indeed. Indeed the French are the biggest dicks in the EU.

The second place in this biggest-dickus survey went to Sweden.

The smallest-dickus place was taken up by the Greeks.

The professional point made here by these university researchers was that there needed to be more rubber in the rubbers for the French and the Swedes. Existing standards remain satisfactory for the Greeks and even their statues.

Monday, December 01, 2008

THERE REALLY MUST BE ORDER IN THE UK HOUSE
After years and years of very very strange goings-ons in the UK house it is up to the responsible citizens to demand an enquiry.
We call on the SPEAKER to take charge of this leaking ship.
We call him OUR Speaker.


Thursday, November 27, 2008

FLOGGING DEAD HORSES
I guess a few might find a warped kind of pleasure from the flogging of dead horses, but - is it possible to find a way to avoid the flogging of real living folk ?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

MY PUBLIC PRONOUN(i)CEMENT
My good readers of this moral blog : I stand here before you today.

Do not let the word slip from your hand.
Until we have built delusion land ...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A WORKING-CLASS LETTER IS SOMETHING TO WRITE

Deflation increases the real value of debt. The debunking of the big boys and girls and the failures there within display the hidden debt that is a very big debt to the working classes.

Inflation only increases the image value of ... you know who. Do you do you do you do you wanna dance?

As far as i can see fuck all has changed.

Friday, November 21, 2008

A GATHERING UP OF ME MARBLES
Me dreams were so deep and real and memory became, itself, became as if alive. I had forgotten most of all that.
Me dreams, oh me dreams, from on-the-back and from laying, laying down, down to breather-breath-intake-mode as a zone, a different breath.
Whenever possible.
Feel the plastic.

One week in bed re-invents the present ghost.
One week in bed escapes the present ghosts that haunt... ...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

DID I SAY THAT I WAS BETTER
Bollocks !
Doing a review of the news from the UK for last week I feel sick.
No I do not subscribe to the Daily Mail. ( but that is part of it )

If we accept the individual bits of responsibility and all that - we are still left with some kind of massive social and structural calamity in terms of basic human well being and a flourishing community.

Can the Pale Daily Wailies even understand social structures anymore?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sunday, November 09, 2008

GAWDI BROON HAS A DEFINING MOMENT
In the "Guardian of Truth" today Gawdi Broon showed his Monty Python credentials. Such will be studied byour children and the children of our children and our children of our children who have even more children and children and children as history is written.
Latest comment from A Python is that "Brown needs a new dog licence".

Saturday, November 08, 2008

JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT
I, personally, at this moment in 24/7 time, absolutely and with all due respect, believe in Oxford. Our country needs quality and needs to refuse any university on the (it's a nightmare) Isle of Dogs. Oxford is needed to keep our language codes correct.
Oxford is fairly unique in this essential cultural anchoring fuction but, OK, it is not rocket science.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

LETTER TO SCOTTISH LABOURERS
Maybe it would have been better for Glen Clothes to have avoided totally the fatal attraction. To have said that enough is enough with a blow job. It seems that the world according to Garpy Gordon is thick and full of very dangerous liaisons.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

LETTER TO OBIWANNABE
Could it it be possible that an American Democrat might even consider mentioning a few words from C.Wright Mills?
For example :-
" Ours is not so much a time of big decisions as a time for big decisions that are not being made. A lot of bad little decisions are crippling the chances for the appropriate big ones."

Monday, November 03, 2008

Gawdi Broon gaffs
" quid pro quo" is banned.
Yet Gawdi Broon Boy has used it NOW.
Check it out : I am too lazy to give you the easy way.
Have a nice week

Friday, October 31, 2008

THE "GUNNERS" ARE IN TEARS
Arsenal Football Club are weeping and crying. They need a hug.
No this is not irony.
This is another part of the Brand-Ross game that few will critique.

Gimme back me football I say.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

NEMESIS IN FASHION AGAIN
After so many years of Hubris ruling the waves of self-esteemed social capital it seems that Nemesis returns.
But this invisible and sometimes divine Goddess of retribution ( bring her on I say) has been disturbed and she is now alert after a few years of what we can call her 40 winks.
Who is responsible for giving our Nemesis the new kiss of life?
Who will be next to find their very own Nemesis knocking at their door?

What we need here me maties is a top ten list.
Now get to work with no thought of idle banter.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

MR G.W. BUSH HAS TO CEMENT HIS LEGACY SOON
Ok, ok, maybe you say that he has already done that cementing.
But there are just under 3 months left of his president-time and this 3 months is a very long time in politics.

Will he make more war?
Will he try to play golf?
Will he "return" to the booze?
Or will he do all these three things and all at the same time?

Answers please on a postcard addressed to : Education for Five Year old Futures @ Sarah Palin Institute for the deaf dumb and blind kids.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

DEAR MR BRAND
Well "Little" boy lost in New York you seem to have lost your dream. The Daily Mail will not be taking you on as an intellectual, cutting-edge, voice of the people.
Maybe "Little Britain" has a spot for you.

In the end, Mr Brand, you will consider that you should only take the piss out of those that are big enough to respond to your intellectual challenges.

Mr Brand man : Take care now because you have been fucked and you hardly know it, yet.

Monday, October 27, 2008

HOOGIE-POOGIE COULD YOU LEND ME A DIME?
Really need a bail-out here.
Trust me I will pay it all back. ( not from my own account, of course).

I call on you all as citizens of the world to lend me a dime.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

NATURE STRIKES BACK
Just as your ever-professional Zola gets going on his warm up exercises to be ready for the big game this afternoon - what appens?

A host of waxwings descend upon me training ground.
About 30 at last count.
Most disturbing as I think they are beautiful birds.
OK I like birds anyway........

Friday, October 24, 2008

I'D LIKE TO SPEND SOME TIME IN MOZAMBIQUE
La Luto Continua.

( This has nowt to do with the "End of History" splurgs I just want to have a damned good holiday).
OK maybe I was listening to Dylan and Fanon and.... and double-checking on the twists and turns of Faki-Waki-Woogie baby.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

MORALITY TO MATHEMATICS AND MONEY DOTH FLY
It has come to pass ..............

God Damit those Lap-dancers are distracting me from me rightful duties as an old fart.
Where has all the wisdom gone .. where has wisdom gone? Far far away.
You need to sing that by the way.

If the dubious father of a certain Toni Blair would only have had a decent sex education at primary level then the Catholic-Bliar would never have had the need for a Scottish habit.




Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I HAD INTENDED TO BEHAVE THIS BLOGGING YEAR ... but

I feel a big wobbler coming on.
Problem?
I cannot quite decide which damned mess to concentrate upon.
Anyway at least one thing comes out.

Those that rage about "Marxism" now find themselves able to actually read that body of wicked work.
In fact, it seems, that the works of Karl Marx are selling again and are no longer banned by the blue meanies of the media.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A DAY IN THE LIFE I GUESS

Yesterday was a big nasty. I needed, really needed, to go to the dentist and get an old worn out back tooth pulled.

Still full of mind-blowing pain-killing and legal substances I walked home trying to smoke a fag through one side of my mouth. Every now and then I needed to stop to spit out the damned blood. Fag in hand spitting blood walking through the town.

Many people looked at me, stared even.
But I was high enough not to care.
Puff puff gobb gobb wobble wobble home.

Now, today, I feel guilty.
I ought to have had a bottle of beer in my other hand because that would have given the crowd something to tell their kids.




Tuesday, October 14, 2008

" Bosses Pay Price as Taxpayers Move In"

The Guardian of Truth today makes yet another headline that almost sends a Fhinking person to Florida.

But I suspect that this is just and yet another sad example of how free Capitalism re-invents itself !

So just to repeat : the bosses pay the price as the taxpayers move in.
Now you understand .............what you tried to say to me... how you suffered for your sanity ...
... as the beat goes on, as the beat goes on.

Monday, October 13, 2008

A LOST PLEASURE PERHAPS

As you know I do not work away from home very much. Some would say I have never worked much at all but that is not the point here.
But sometimes i am thrust into public workplaces a few times in the year and I have begun to notice something.

Fewer and fewer people whistle when they work.
This is sad.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

TROUSERS CAN BE TIGHT

After some worrying months it is now clear that "Trousers can be tight" and if you do not believe me go down to the South of Sudan today and you can be sure of a big suprise.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

NEW POST
Please give your thoughts for our brave new world a'coming.
Jean-Marie Gets a Nobel Prize

Frenchy guy with a strange sounding name get a Nobel Prize for Lit.

Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clusio ( hope I got that right inspector) is the man.

Shame on me i guess but I will try and pick up now on some of his works which do, by all accounts, deserve readership.
Oh well at least I have another "name" to read when i am in bed without a woman or women.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

WHY ?
Why would a first year university student want to listen to an aged old fart who rattles and raves at the most ridiculous levels?

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

POLITICAL RELATIONSHIPS
It seems to me that a clear FIENDSHIP presents itself as FRIENDSHIP in the atmosphere that we breathe today.

But ; bugger it, I will carry on with friendship even if it is a subversive relationship that will never, never ever, cowtail to idle and idolised senses of contract.

Monday, October 06, 2008

CORRECTION : AS IS OUR POLICY
We said here, under the respectable Zola-Ink-Spots publications, that MP Peter Mandelson was "Qaint and Quibbling".

Due to a technical error mixed with our out-sourced editor we made a big typo.
We should have said that Peter Mandelson was " Qaint and Quisling".

Zola apologiZes for this technical fault although due to circumstances can never promise not to make the same kinds of mistake again.

It is the technology stupid "

NOTHING PERSONAL
Sarah Palin says : " I don't need no smear test" I have always felt that Mr McCain is a straight-up guy.

Friday, October 03, 2008

OCTOBER 9th : DECISION - Get yer bets in now.
The Nobel Prize for Literature will be announced on Oct 9th.
The big bets are silently on Philip Roth.

THE QUAINT AND QUIBBLING HERO RETURNS
Your very own Peter Mandelson is to return to the UK after a spell in the EU.
Mandelson is to join a new team that will return Newcastle United and the Northern Rock to past glories.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

BEFORE MEMORY FAILS ME

Lady Diana
Children at your feet
Wonder how you manage
To make them meat.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

NOTES FROM THE NORTH
I aspire from my humble shire,
For,
Something beginning with :-

F


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

US GOVERNMENT CALLS IN CHINESE CONSULTANTS

We hear today that Mr McPain and Obiwhamma-bamma have called in Chinise consultants to advise the US on matters of public support.

As you all know a Chinese aircraft was broken down on the landing stage and as we know the airport workers and the passengers were called in to push the big machine off the runway and into a safe place.

McPain and Obiwhamma-bamma both agreed that " this was the kind of public spirit that was needed for the USA to be functioning well again."

Thursday, September 25, 2008

THE BETS ARE ON.

Toni Blair will be the next to sit on the throne.

This far all is on evens. But it is a good bet in the making.
WORDS PAY NO DEBTS

Was that Troilus or Cressida or what ?
Question for the British Citizenship Award.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
Many European countries are considering this matter right now. Breakfasts at all hotels should be available for anyone and everyone for the payment of one Euro.
However this would only apply to the buffet table.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

ANOTHER SHOOTING AT A COLLEGE IN FINLAND

This morning we all heard the tragic news of another crazy shooting. Yes I said crazy.
Crazy !

Monday, September 22, 2008

" FROTH IS FUN", says Roger.

It may or may-not suprise you but Roger Alton has made a pinkey-perky that all can relish if only for the links.
The ed of the Indi has spoken.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

PLEASE SIR : NOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN NAUGHTY YOURSELF

Can I now use the oopps-word?
Can I use the "C" word?
Can I talk about Capitalism again without getting a spanking?

Friday, September 19, 2008

TRIBUTE TO SIR ALAN GREENSPAN

" Up and down the City road,
In and out the Eagle,
That's the way the money goes,
Pop ! goes the weasel. "

Thursday, September 18, 2008

DID KARL MARX WEAR A UNIFORM ?

Did a contradiction ever find a synthesis?
OIL PRICES CHANGING DAY-BY-SECOND
If Gawdy Broon fails to do something the oil prices will drop to 5 dollars a barrel. The market is cold.
But, we hear, things are being done and the price of oil will return to the natural level next year and remain stable at 199/b.
THAT WAS A DECISION THAT WAS.

Sweden sends their Swedes to ensure PEACE in Georgia.

We can only hope that these peace-keepers are more aware than those that try to keep the peace in Swedish football matches - yes, in Sweden!!!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

THANK YOU ROBERT FISK

In yet another humane and sensible article Fisk ( Independent) gets us all thinking about the realities of war and war-mongering.

May we remember a certain writer/journalist Henri Babusse who said, through his characters of his book Under Fire that we not only send the guys off to get killed or maimed we fuck them up first !

Friday, September 12, 2008

LONG HAIRED ACADEMIC ENCHANTED BY SARAH

The well known A.C. Grayling, in the Guardian today, shows his spurs and his spikes like never before. He has come out of the closet. But before you waste your time reading his long winded rant just ask yourself what his opening words really mean. His article begins with :-

" One of the marks of irrationality is failure to profit from experience".

If anybody can explain this comment I take off me hat and eat it.

I doubt that most folk will suffer this little piss-take because the profits are always made through a failure of the vast majority to learn from experience.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN IN THE NEXT HALF-HOUR

Certain powers that be out there are trying to throw your poor Zola into a Black Hole.
So if today and soon Zola vanishes then it is your duty to put him back together again so civilisation has a chance to progress.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

MY FAMILY JEWELS ARE NOT FOR SALE

I care not for the fashionable credit crunch brigade. I care not for the merchants of Freddie and Mae. I will not allow me family jewels to be sold.

I am not a prostitute and I am not a politician. Me family jewels are not for sale no matter what the market says.
Me family jewels are renowned for being a safe bet in times of hardship.

Monday, September 08, 2008

IT IS NOW OBVIOUS WHEN BEFORE iT WAS JUST A MOVEMENT

The NU-Guardian is fucked. It runs scared and even their American Dream withers.

Nu-Labor is fucked. It crawls scared like a rat caught out and thrown to the water.

What then is left?

The only thing that is possible today is totally different groups gathering under a kind of common banner. This means a Manchester Guardian mixing and picking bits and pieces with a host of golden blogs that will say no to the killing fields.

This means an alternative political anti-party that really matters.
SWEDISH FAMILY FIRED UP BY ID CARD NUMBER

One Swedish family " is bedeviled by daughter's beastly ID card number".
At the end of the new born ID card is 666.
Swedish officials say that at least 100 Swedes every year get born with this 666 number.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

FIXTURES AND RESULTS AS THEY HAPPEN

Good afternoon campers we bring you here our renowned results service for the International events as they happen :-

It's Macedonia 1 Scotland 0 ( sorry Merky unperky today)
Macedonia, a small catholic community north west of Iceland rooted out the Protestant bias of this humble Scottish team that was led by a rather insignificant manager who once played for Ipswich Town.

So just to rub it in Macedonia 1 Scotland 0

Andorra 2008 England 1860


FINANCIAL TIMES AS CULTURAL CRITIQUES
Due to me pension pains and me claims in cases of social justice I feel a strange kind of pleasure in reading the Financial Times. Erotic. The latest little piece I give you here - or at least little bit to chew :-

" ... the battle over evolution is a class conflict disguised as a religious or moral conflict. It is comforting to look at the fight over evolution as one that pits the educated against the ignorant...."

Friday, September 05, 2008

SOCIAL ORDER RESTORED IN AUSSI
We are happy that social order in Aussie-Land has been restored without too much correctional intervention.
We can rest now that the new Governor-General, Quentin Bryce ( known to the close friends of The Queen as " Bruiser-Bruiser-Nice) is sworn in.
She is the first real female Governor-General to oversee the Aussi-Lands and by all accounts Aussi males are lost for words.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

THE ANTI-THESIS
After all these years of trying to get to the thesis stage
All I have left is Sin.
And, that is, before I even got really started !

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

TOMBSTONES WEIGH HEAVY TO KEEP US DOWN

If you had remained silent you would have remained a philosopher.

Monday, September 01, 2008

LATEST TRANSFER NEWS
Abbi Nationale has joined Westminster Ditherers for an undisclosed fee.

Winger Miliband has joined the Tory Tigers on a free transfer.

Thai Tie-die de die die Thatsoon joins Hampstead Hopsters Utd. It is believed that this was under a Bosnian contract.

Hellin the Queen joins Fulham FC on a pay-by-play deal.




Saturday, August 30, 2008

SOME BAD NEWS AND SOME GOOD NEWS
Bad news is that Autumn is coming as our silver birch leaves turn yellow. Damn it is not even September yet.

But the good news. Me Boletus Edulus is something to be proud about, as the good neighbour said to me this morning, in the garden. A wonderful specimen, she said.
I thanked her very much, very very very much.

Friday, August 29, 2008

PM GAWDI-BROON IS NOT DEAD

Today we hear that the IT Industry and Military Industrial Complex has confirmed that Gawdi Broon is not dead. ( profits depend upon his life-long-learning abilities, they said). UK-IT Job OK.

From Russia the response was rather sympathetic. Putin said that Brown was needed and his foreign minister too. Long live Broon.

From China the response was also supportive of Broon. It was said today, at a press conference in Iran, that : Gawdi Broon is not a fat cat on heat and dresses correctly at times.




Thursday, August 28, 2008

WEIMAR REPUBLIC TOURS

We regret to announce that our guide, Mr Miliband, has suffered a terrible and personal fate.
Therefore, under the terms of our agreement, we must cancel these tours.
We are sure that this will not be bad for you. Tours to the Weimar Republic are now cancelled.

Our tours to the northern parts of the UK are still going ahead and already booked up to value-added credibility. Mr Millibrand is available, he says, for these tours.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

THERE IS NO EXCUSE ...

There is no excuse today for being :-
a) Ugly
b) Stupid
c) Boring, or
d) Deaf

Why then are so many of "our" politicians like this?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

BLOGGERS ACCUSED
It is now clear that bloggers are accused of using a limited vocab. Shame on those that accuse. ( that was 20 or somat words used already with no repitition!)

Simple folk use only a few words. They ought to do better.

But how many words does it take to make a good fugue?
Which words should be added when the blog blogs today?




Monday, August 25, 2008

DEMENTIA CEMENTIA : ALAS MAGGIE NOTHING MUCH IS NEW

Did you remember, Maggie, the poor that lived just down the road?
Did you remember what got YOU to that Chemistry bench at Oxbridge?
No, no, of course you did not.
You did it YOUR WAY.

" And now, the end is near and so I face the final curtain.
My friend. I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case of which I'm certain .........."
I did it demented.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

SUNDAY POST

The infamous and glorious cricket-chap, Mr G Boycott, says "adversity never breaks a good man". ( Boycott was also slow on the score-scale but he sure did score). Boycott has often been labelled as a man who needed a mother and not a girlfriend or companion-in-lust. So I thought on this good Sunday I would seek out a women-friendly response.

This far I come-up with : " Adversity in men often makes a good woman".

I am still seeking............


Friday, August 22, 2008

BIT OF SENTIMENTALITY FOR THE WEEKEND

" O wad some power the giftie gie us;
To see oursels as ithers see us.
It wad frae monie a blunder free us ..............."

Thursday, August 21, 2008

RONNIE DREW REMINDERS BLOCKED

Another kind of folk-hero has been blocked from the petty-netty bloc.Con.

Free distribution of Drew and the Dubliner songs have been taken away and out of sight. Even in China Drew is on a rocky road back to Dublin without even a listen. The UK denies involvement in this anti-capitalist programme of artistic interpretation.
LEOPOLD ABSE : ALAS, WE NEVER GOT TO KNOW YOU

Leo Abse understood something about Civilisation and its Discontents but he was put to grass already in Wilsonite-nightie-nighty-nights. That was the irony I guess.

Dylan once sang a song about Lenny Bruce. Who will sing a song for Leo?

Will Blair smile at the cemetry?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

GOD DAMN'IT IT IS WINDSDAY AGIN
Seems very blustery out there today.
American voices cry out in pain.
Bring back nationalisation they say.

Yee haaa : profits for the people
Profits for the people
Like you and me.......

Monday, August 18, 2008

OVERHEARD ON SUNDAY : A MESSAGE FROM ABOVE

" Those that taketh away the bins of the world have mercy upon us."

Saturday, August 16, 2008

JACK STRAW RECEIVES A TONI AWARD and says :-

" Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life ; and I will dwell in the House of Lords forever".

Friday, August 15, 2008

I AM OFF TO RE-CLAIM AND POSSESS
Just doing me job.
It pays well.
History always repeats itself.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

AT LAST : GOOD NEWS FROM THE PROPERTY MARKET

Those of you that trust E-Bay-Watch will already know that various summer houses and holiday homes are for sale in the Black Sea area. This is the time to buy.
Some are also available, at good rates, from The Caspian Sea coastline.

A buy to let deal here is still possible so long as you are quick on the draw.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I AM A VICTIM
I am a victim of racism.
This world keeps trying to get me to run before I can walk.

Monday, August 11, 2008

THE IRISH BRING US BACK TO SANITY
Over the weekend, the Irish from the town of Killorglin, refused Olympic distractions and gave us a good taste of common sense.
They elected a KING OF IRELAND. A male goat. For three days this King will find the heavy duties of office but will also enjoy the perks.

Blair a poodle? Bush a monkey with a gun? Stalin a walrus? ( I once wrote about a certain Foreign Minister as an elk - boss was not much amused although I did manage ).
How many animals do we have in politics?

Saturday, August 09, 2008


ARE THERE POLAR BEARS IN FINLAND... OR IS THIS .....

a) Merkin not perkin after a weekend in Inverness
b) The Burrow Beadle "resting" on a Sunday night, or
c) Gawdy Broon doing intelligent


Wednesday, August 06, 2008


THE HISTORY OF THE LABOUR MOVEMENT SINCE WILSONITES


Friday, August 01, 2008

Mr BROONDANGLES
Lyrics by anonymouse with band

I met him in a cell in New LaborLand; I was down and out,
He looked to me to be the eyes of age as he spoke right out.
He talked of life he talked of life he talked of life
Mr BroonDangles
Mr BroonDangles

..................................
.............................

The best continuation of this song lyric will receive a Zola Special.

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