WEDNESDAY : ANOTHER DAY OF FEAR
Just realised that the rubbish MEN come in the early hours of a Thursday. I need to make sure that all the rubbish is out there and available for due collection.
Me missus has threatened to put ME in a plastic bag tonight.
Wish me luck.

TUESDAY TABLE TALK
It was, I think, Freud that asked us to consider again the "portion of happiness" and the possibilities of happiness that have been exchanged for a "portion of security.." : holy shit.
God damit think I need a beer and a dance and a carnival.
Could I invite ..........?
Give your guest list.

DIARY OF A MONDAY MAN
The wind had changed and the wet snow falls again.
A misty grey-light haunts
And pisses me off.
Then a neighbour cat turns up.
Cold and pleading and left out all night.
Cats are good at that even when the human folk go to work early.
Fed the cat.
Kind to be cruel but there it is.
Meant to do a few things today for official life
Too late now.
Maybe another day will come along that says official work is ok.

Latest update at 14.00 hours (mytime)
Stray cat still lurking and sitting just outside my door.
Never should have fed "it".
That is now about 7 hours of this lurkin by the stray cat.
It is a young male in Springtime.

Our own cat, at home, is an older ( much older) female.

Dear Aunties all : What do I do?

NOT JUST ANOTHER SATURDAY
Yesterday was bleak but today :-

Cirrus, whispy-lined, clouds, blown
By a north wind
Below a bright blue sky
Where the sun makes
And the snow sparkles.

Ah well quickly come quickly go.
This will never last long.

GOING INTO A WEEKENDING
Yee hah psychology is finally finding out that it has not feet on the ground.
Yeee haah Capitalism is coming out of the god-like closet of infallibility.
God Damit there is another chance coming up methinks this century.

Higher( heels for a French President?), Longer( penis for Asians?) and Faster ( responses from Hiarious Cliterawesome?) and even wider stretching of the Bliarite imagination ( no condoms on my WMD's?) ....
And it goes on and on.

It goes on and on.

I WANNA WIN-WIN GOLD
You wanna win-win gold?
OK.
Step into my parlour said the IMF to the fly.
Keep those home fires a'burning me old radicals.
Come in your time is up.
Keep the torch a'burning me old sporty-sorty-wanna-be MBAs.
Keep me, keep me, keep me with your golden stick.

THE IMAGE HAS BEEN EXTINGUISHED
Oh dear me what the Trades Unions failed to do the postmodern playboys and playgirls have acheived.
The image has been put out.
Dance to the music....

THE WHOOPER SWANS ARE BACK IN NUMBER
Today I watched the Whooper Swans returning to the north.
Something great about that somehow.

PEELING POTATOES AS A POTATORY EXPERT
Having four mouths to feed today I found myself counting the spuds. I ended up with four times four which equals 16. So far so good. But then came the strange bit ( strange at least for those that actually peel spuds and make meals at home) I began counting the numbers again every time I sliced away a bit of spud skin ... 1...2...6...12...pieces of spud lost and binned. It was then that I saw the connection with politics and core voters.

Damn it then came the onions.
Best I go skateboarding methinks and soon.

THE GREAT CONVERSATION CONTINUES
Cloak my words in ashes
Smoke my eyes with gas,
Poke my head with needles
Stroke my pain with slush.

Fuck my arse with paper.
Muck me around.

But you,
You blocked my ears before
With wax
And now I cannot hear you.

FUCK IT HAVE I SINNED AGIN?
Had a wonderful Easter time. Family, home, sun, snow, books and all that. I even watched two films ( Lord of Rings and Harry Potter stuff) wonderful and I loved it all.
But I also read a few bits and pieces. Red in bed as it were. Rather be read in bed than dead I thought to mesen.
Read a bit of Jacques Ellul agin I did. You know, where the technology becomes a technique, that is THE culture, without critique.
Anyway I am still here and around and about.
Fuck me survived another Easter.

EASTER TIME
Your ever present Zola wishes a very happy Easter to all the suffering folk. But remember we all have a full moon coming up right now.
BTW : Outside me house here we have blue sky and sun and lots of snow.
Think I will just hang around this Easter and imagine what travelling might be on an Easter Egg.

IT'S A WINDSDAY AND A HISTORIC DAY AT THAT
Today during the inevitable farce of "Question Time" for the UK Prime Minister the Oh My God Broon began with a total smacker. After a question from the Conservative vice-royal, Webcam-Babbooooon, Broony boy said that he would not support an independent Tibet. The reply from the right wing was enough to shock even a bold scot. Webcam said that was right. Broon replied that all his decisions were right.
This is an historic day for UK politics. The Nu Labor admits it is Right.

As the webcam Baboon smiled Gordi boy was lost. The joke had escaped his intellect.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
The rightly ponderable Toni Blair is to be investigated for his negligent behaviour. As we understand it, from sources, Blair was negligent in his promotion of the British Army Tourism Services ( BATS, for short) and deaths happened because of this.

WHY DOES FRIDAY EXIST?
It cannot be a Free Day now can it.
Maybe it has something to do with sexy Freda.
Ah dunno.

SOUTH SEA BUBBLES OR NORMALITY?
Oh dear me the wise and the great of the media politics waste so much paper and ink on their pathetic version of a global recession.
My dears this is normal for a free-wheeling capitalism.

So when you are run over by the truth one day, just say :-
" You put your bombers in, you put your conscience out,
You take the human being and you twist it all about
So scrub my skin with women
Chain my tongue with whisky
Stuff my nose with garlic
Coat my eyes with butter
Fill my ears with silver" ......
Stick my penis in plaster
Tell me lies about the South Sea Bubble without a condom.

LITTLE NEED FOR PENIS ENVY
We read and see all the time today about the naughty-bits. Even some academics, and especially those academics that are vertically challenged, wish to make public their feelings concerning bums and tits. It is time then for Zola to calm things down abit.
My penis ( a wicked willy never to be trusted) erects itself on places like the bus. It is the good vibrations that does it methinks. But it is hell when the bus stop gets nearer.
OK it maybe that it pays to advertise but I doubt it somehow.
It is high time for men ( and others) to make public the times when wicked willy acts out in public and causes a scene.

WHEN TURKEYS VOTE FOR CHRISTMAS
It seems to me that there have been many times when turkeys have voted for Christmas. When Finnish folk voted in this latest right wing government for example. When the UK voted in the Blairite regime for another example.
Perhaps there are more selective and tight examples flying around and about in this circle of rogues.
Like to hear some I would.

Message Today
Those that REALLY benefit from the "Arms Trade" are being arrested.
Get back to you soon if I can.

I MUST SAY SORRY
Judge Drudge is OK.

A JOLLY PLOUGHBOY SPINS
A Sunday question must be :-
Is a Jolly Ploughboy as happy as a maybe-might-be King?

THE GHOSTS ARE COMING BACK
Hey Mr BrownMachineMan play a song for me
On my sweet peon....
I am not going anywhere.

Swagiman has allowed the word "sorry" now so I can say sorry for this new mad March day. Nostalgia is better now than it ever was.
Van Morrison is to make a new set of recordings.
Dylan is up to something new, and ...
The Highlander Folk School remains alive.

Let's start the month as we wish to move beyond it.

TODAY IS DEDICATED TO ANTICANT
It is a day when everybody may be encouraged to LEAP up and down with their knickers in the air.
Come on Anticant get leaping.
Better than getting grumpy about the demise of the great Conservatives.

TOMORROW HAS A 75% Risk Factor
But mathematics has never ever been what is was today.
Although the majority of the so called global population have found their birthday to be on February 29th.

QUALITY SOULMATES INVESTIGATED
Internal investigations are going on right now concerning "Escort Services" and the quality press.
The only reliable comment so far is : " Lord Beaverbrook would never have gone in this deep."
Remember, you read it here first.

UK EARTH MOVES AND VIBRATIONS EVERYWHERE
Please, dear reader, do not fret.
The Duke of Westminster is safe and well.
Moral of this story?
Condom all the time and ya'll be ahlrat.

THE PEAT BEATS ON
Footfalls on Kinder
Up above the Fox Holes
Tramping and a camping with the mud-deep-days.
With a ...............

A BICYCLE? In Lapland?
Woke up this morning, a song in my head
looked out the window
And
Went straight back to bed.

Anyway ways the best photo caption wordy-wordy-thing will get a free bicycle holiday in a Winter Lapland Land.
So come on you lot give us an artistic caption or photo text.

HOW DOES ONE BEHAVE WELL IN A HOSPITAL?
Forgetting now those that enjoy the comforts of a hospital or a jail as being a kind of bed and breakfast treat ( who has never been there has never lived) it is educational to gather up bits and pieces of advice from those that understand this kind of management of spoiled identity.
So how is one to behave well during hospital overnights or days?
Dear blogger : do add your own thoughts and, of course, "experiences". We all love experiences.

As a starter :-
1) Never ever give a goosing to the nurse before you have been there for, at least, 8 hours.
2) When giving goosings always balance out the age ranges of the nurses and begin from the older ones.
3) Always adhere to the basics of the two S's. Shit and Shower and be seen to do this everyday. Then the goosings will look after themselves.
4) Always eat your food and say how wonderful it was with a thank you. Then more goosings are possible.
5) Never look at the naughty bits of the nurses until you have first made human contact ( usually getting an extra cup of this or that or an extra piece of cake.....)
Please send in your words of advice ( so many of this blogland group seem to relish the hospital experience) and we may then offer the EU governments words of advice too.

FINLAND APPLAUDS SPIRIT OF UK TAX REFORM
The culture of wickedness and pleasure, the binge culture that has come about due to the lowering of taxes and controls on things, is finally to be criminalised.
Bigger taxes are to be introduced for all the "City" gamblers, politicians expenses, wine allowences for the Church and PAYL ( pay as you leave) playboys.
At last the spiritual reform for the working classes is made possible, says one high cultural official.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
Sales for Hogarth works on the increase.
Gin Lane most popular says art expert.
High Culture for all?

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS
There is a season to turn and turn towards a kind of classical respect if only to avoid the inevitable boredom of false-freedoms and idle idolic play. It is, indeed, readers of this well respected blogsite that demand a spade be called a spade and evermore shall be so. With the good readers in mind I offer a little bit of an essay from my student days. It was an essay that I had wanted to write but could not. It was to form an impression on me. It was, as if, there was, at last, something to live up towards. ( it was as if a kind of rhetoric was essential in both politics and life ). The quote is :-

" In the shallow water along the beach, raindrops are splashing ; a cool and moist wind fusses in the damp trees, which glow leadenly like dead fish. The devil has spit in the soup......... "

The writer of this piece of beauty mixed with truth gave me something to touch when poetic discourse was out of fashion.
One day I will write a little something like that if i can.
One day.
Until then I must remain with a mere intent and a punkish-social and poetic rationality on the fault-lines.
Fuck me it could be worse!!!

GAP YEAR(S) AWAY FROM STUDENTHOOD
I really must write about those "gap years".
Problem?
Cannot remember that much.
But I am sure I could do it with a little help from my friends.

DECISIONS ON BIG (T)ISSUES
I came out of that weekend as a reflexive reflecting person.
Many came up to me and said that they thought this was good for me.
So I went to the toilet and sat down for awhile.

I was not quite sure if it was to be a fart or a shit.
Best be safe I thought.
You see this reflexivity and reflective awareness of the past really helps.

Have you ever had shit in your pants?

USA TARGETS MOON WITH NEW MISSILE
President George W Bush wants to mark the end of his tour of duty with a humanistic bent.
Using the latest technology in missiles the USA targets the moon and says that it will blow up this beast into tiny fragments for the benefit of Mankind.
A Bush aide said : " Too many people suffer from this moon... from headaches thru to hairy hands .... our President wants to show his humanitarian streak. "

THE HEMLOCK FACTOR
Our poor old Socrates is under, yet again, more political bytes.
Recently it was said that the Socrates take on knowledge was to blame for those Rums-Do-Melt excuses for the war against humanity.
Now, I ask you : Was our poor old Socrates saying that " wisdom lies in the institutionalisation of ignorance."???

DUE TO PUBLIC DEMAND A STATEMENT IS NECESSARY
After various tabloid-type comments that fly around and then grow as the gossip grows I must say something before I burn.
Yes : I have been to bed with a cat.
No : I have never been a member of any Trade Union.

Yes : I have shaved a pussy.
No : I have never been a member of any Trade Union.

SONGS OF INNOCENCE AND WORKING CLASS THEOLGY
What follows drips with memory. Maybe a few words here and there mistaken but the mainsail is up for the wind.
A pub and folk was all that was needed and one such song springs to mind :-

I'll sing you 12 oh red goes the noses so
12 for the 12 apostles
11 for the eleven that went to heaven, and
10 for the ten commandments.
9 for the nine bright shiners
8 for the April rainers, and
7 for the seven pints I have had, and
6 for the pack in the sack.
5 for the symbols on your door, and
4 for the brewery workers
3 three the wino's
2 two the same to you - hows yer father, alright, hows yer mother, shes tight, hows yer sister, she might
One is one too much and ever more shall be oh.

Sincere apologies to any sensitive soul that finds any poor mistake I have made to be abusive to their selves.
But considering the many musical souls that sometimes peek into this site I am sure that such mistakes can be corrected.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
Conned-You-Sleezy-Nice has made a pact with Hilarious Clitoris.
Comment from from Billy-Willy-Boy was " This really sucks but it pays".

RUMBLINGS FROM EDUCATION. UK.Inc Ministry
Thousands of reports and research papers have finally been noted and a basic pattern has emerged. Since education became a Culture Industry the education has worked very very well indeed.
Critical awareness, poetry, history, philosophy and all that have finally been shelved as a Classical Relic.
Training, training and more training has been the result.
This was the target and bullseye. Success.
Management training psycho-babble has won the culture wars.

Today the Ny Labor management group, with Blair and Brown, Thatcher and the underlings, get ready to dance their dance and celebrate.
But it is hard to dance with the devil on your back.

NORWICH CITY FC BRINGS FOG ON THE TYNE
Season ticket holders from Norwich City FC are being rewarded for their trust in this historic community. A 10% value-added Christmas present is in store for all.
A certain K.Keegan is quite pissed off again and is throwing a tantrum. He was heard yelling that : " The grey haired one was not a virgin as I know it and should be sunk in the waters of the Tyne."
But help is on the way. A certain Hilarious Erectable Clitoris is frothing at the mouth in her bid to keep the UK wet-sports together. She said :-
" The UK is the mother of all democracy and we, here in the United States, are ready to re-unite you all through our progressive investments."

From Football to Darts
Just a little story.
I was only 15, only 15, I was too young to know.
But I was on the winning team and we celebrated.
But first things first.

There were two young lads on the team list. I guess today this would be cackled as an Academy. Two young lads of 15 playing football with old men that looked to be, at first sight, past it. Anyway I was one of those young lads at 15 and I was on a high. Playing for my home town ( under 16s) we had kept Frankfurt to a draw of 1-1. That was a big deal. Thought myself to be a hero. But that was the youth team. I was getting grilled into an adult team and just to look at them hurt.

Back to training. The old-fart centre-half began tackling me. He wanted me to learn how to keep my legs intact. But he spared no force. Anyway I was selected for my first big game with the adults. Shit that was the first time that i had ever followed orders and shit I was nervous. This adult team gave me hell. I just wanted to play football. No more the youth team here. ..... but I wanted the hero....
Then I began to learn a bit and a piece.

The big boys had helped me survive many months of hell and heaven and they had carried me through ( I was learning?) and our last game was a kind of crunch and punch and no holds barred type of thing. I got my nose broken but we won the game.

Celebrations. Weekend night. Visit to pub first and then posh dinner. I was already out of my depth. At the pub we played darts against some local team ( no idea of the real facts) and our football team were giving me hell again as I was nervous to even be in that pub at 15. I was the guy that needed a double to win against the locals. I thought everybody was as pissed as pissed as can be because I could hardly understand a word they were all saying. I threw the dart. Double 20. In one dart. Then I got lifted up and thrown and tossed around until I was really made to understand the significance of this double 20 throw. The beers were paid for by the local pub and there were many of us. Even the magic sponges and the administration lot were there. Now I was a hero. Luck and fate works that way sometimes. Sometimes. All gets blurred.

Pub was closed and the restaurant open. It was one of those places that would accept drunken football players at that time. It was Greek.
All of a sudden I was asked to order.
Deliver de liver I demanded as the adults laughed and the waiter glared.
Then I was told to behave myself by the big centre-half of the team.

All this is just sentimental sentencing of the experience, anchored and recorded. All this is cods! But true.
What can be said and done?

Darts is a game that is played on the margins. The end is always on the margins.
The centre is sometimes ok too but the margins is really where it is at.
The margins.
That is why I remain happy with the outside.
That is why I remain enthused with the borders.
That is why I have still so very much to learn.

I really do miss that old centre-half yelling at me to keep a line.
I miss the whole team as a fifteen year old would. But I am not 15.
I remember that it was the Centre-half that guided me into another level of football, the same man that yelled and knocked me about. The same man that, with a much balding head later said "Hello, remember me?".
I did.
How can a centre help the margins? Do you really need to ask?

IT IS LENT FOR THE PENITENT
Just as I getting ready to refuse all the joys and the toys and the dreams of Springtime - just as Lent empowered me to cut to pieces my credit card - I thought again. ( such is what Lent is for and better than pratting around in the wilderness).
I learnt of an "Ex-Policeman buggering an MP" and a smile came to my lips as my Lent and penitent future collapsed.
This is not for the first time.

FINDING A CENTRE : WHAT IS MONDAY FOR ?
What a day. Did the washing of the clothes and a bra strap got caught in the total machine. Round and round went the bloody great wheel caught and caught the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder seals.
What is a Monday for we ask.
If it is not for this kind of fiasco?

Sori for the lack of Swans today but now i understand what Homer tried to say to me. Oh how he suffered for his sanity.
Blame it on the bra straps I do.

SUNDAY MORNING SWAN

DEMOCRATIC CULTURAL COMMUNICATION
As it is February, a new month, a new moon a'coming and the Water Melon Man coming out of the cupboard -- thought i would try to be nice and kind to the younger bloggers.
There is something about The Swans that makes us all just want to blog.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
Damn all that honesty let us get cracking with some real news.

1) Brechin City ( somewhere in Scotland which is somewhere in England) has been banned. Thank God for decent decision-makers.
2) Paul Macca Artyfarty has bought the rights to the Joe Brown archives and then refuses to give them air. He said " It is an investment for my family".
3) England manager El Cappicino Supremo refused an evening dinner engagement with Posh Spice saying that : " I like to be on top".
4) Comment from Kevin Keegan : Northern Rock is in safe hands".

Soon to be updated ( but please send in your latest news so I may moderate it and change it to serve my own tastes).
Stop Press...... President hopeful Billireum Clinton is not amused as his puppet-performer Hilarious Frillyhairyarse denies giving a blow job ( to calm him down?) to other President hopeful Obiwhamer. Comments from Republician orifices say that " This tastes of bad politics".

Ed ( no ball games here) promises 30 million to add advertising campaigns to the London Olympic Games. These advertisements will, he says, " help the war on fat cats and cash cows and cheap tin trays". Toni Blair approves saying that " this is real value capital at work".... fat folk are a threat to our social networks..... ".

Oh shit I'm being gagged and........ the Blairy-eyed-Brownies are tagging my arse. ......... Must go..... Bentham had nothing on this... scary stuff.
.................
................................
On advice from my lawyer I can only say this : " The wickedness that I have witnessed was before my knowledge of "testing" techniques. It is only now that I know that a UK government can inject a substance abuse into UK subjects in the public domain. ...... //// ................/// .... ...... Off for a run I am.
Fayed and Fulham ( which is on the worst side of London) are taking over Finland. Finnish football players are using Fulham as their training ground to take over the world ( without doping). Fulham manager Mr Roy Hodgkiniski denies any take-over, a "merger is what we see it as" he said. Watch this space.

THE FINAL STRAW
Since those fateful 1980s I have been sooooo very pished off about the trend towards narcissyisms, vanity and the distasteful verbal "stomach problems" of a broken society.
I put this question ( what to do about this all) to the still active and Right Honourable Mr Thorpey-Porky.
He said :-
" Suck on this ".

Oh yes once upon a time there were public toilets to think upon.
But you have 10 questions to ask to find this place and person.
A frustrated Zola can only tell you if you are right or wrong or give honest, really really honest, answers to your questions.
If you professional-educated lot manage to get it in 10 I will post a really really really honest pic on this site and that will turn a few eyebrows.

THIS, MY BLOG AND I, IS :-
100 % Honest !!!

GLOBAL SWARMING
The trend since the 1800s, or before, has been global.
Today the moral panic is "looting".
Even the Bruscaa-Bruiser-land, Aussi risings, complain about looters.
I might find more affinity with the social bandits than I do with the "City" or with those that prefer to link "individual problems" with market losses and glosses.
How is it that James Bond is still so popular?

Anyway : who are the looters? May we ask?

WHAT CAN BE SAID AND DONE ?
In a disgusting 21st Century it is sometimes necessary to eternally return to some of those little bits and pieces that are reflexive and demand reflection.
One such ditty, for me, is this :-
Any thin gloss, upon a medium-soft surface, when scratched will display the essence of the matter at hand.

US FEDERAL RESERVE GOES TO WAR AGAIN
Advice from the working class.
Tighten up yer arses!!!

THE CULTURE INDUSTRY LIKES HIGH FLYERS
Seb Coe, who used to run around in circles to get famous, was talking recently to sound byte Blair and bind-bond Brown. The full text of this conversation has been put into wraps by a court judgement. However a few remaining bits and pieces remain to be published for peons to read.

Seb Coe : " Too many people are after me. They do not trust me anymore".
Bind-Bond-Brown : "Keep your head me laddie. Solidarity is the key here and nobody votes anyway so you are safe with us."
Seb Coe : " But people are saying that my work is hurting people and taking away the financial support for community sports and arts."
Sound Byte Blair : " Let them sow and reap and sell their harvests themselves. Give them freedom of choice. We need more high fliers unzipped. Government money must never be wasted on the public or the society. As my mother used to say : the public society does not exist.

Seb Coe begins jogging around and around the track.
Then he is inspired.
He will take his next job as the International Coordinator for the Afghan zones of influence. His head spins with an almost spiritual glee.
He tells this all to Brown.
Brown replies : " Sorry I already have that myself and booked up for 2009. Ask Toni.
So Seb asked Toni...............................................

WHAT WAS YOUR MOST COURAGEOUS ACT ?
a) Buying a kebab in Pekham at night
b) Eating a kebab in Pekham
or
c) ........... ( answers before Tuesday please )

Appropriate winners and losers will be noted on this site.

REVEALED : EXAM QUESTION FROM CHINA
Here it is :-
What do you think this comment really means? :-
"London's Heathrow Bids For Normality After Crash "

choose your seats

WORLD GRATEFUL TO GORDI-BROON FOR "GIFT"
We hear that Brown, the UK premier gift to liberal society.dotty.con, has told the world that the UK will give, as a "gift", the English Language. The UK will also help spread this gift to all that need it so much even if they are in deep poverty caused by colonial greed.
How nice.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
A woman rescued after two days stuck between Edale and Buxton. The Mountain Rescue, police and other emergency services found her, in a car half way down a hillside but she has survived.
On arrival at the hospital the woman, Helen 46 years of age, said that a very special person had helped her to survive but he left just before the Mountain Rescue came along. She said "He was dressed like the best kind of Spiderman, he was kind and he served me hot rum totties... But there was something different about him. He wore only one sock."
Police are asking for the public to help identify this local hero with only one sock.
The police said that " this one-socked hero is not under suspicion of any wrongdoing yet."

The Street warming up before the flood.
Like it I do.

CLINTON GETS PHILOSOPHICAL
Heard two days ago : " The empirical whole is the untrue ".

The Sexual Life Of The Workers
We hear that even a senior policeman, an inspector plod no more no less, is up to that very unBritish act of human meat injections. The poor Plod has been fucked and out.
Remember, I do, as a student working in a factory on the 12 hour night shift. Then the conveyor belt broke down. The "ladies" became bored.
They decided, on mass, to plonk one of me mates onto the belt. About six ladies held him down as a few others bonked him and did the most terrible things to him.
God damnit it should have been me!!!!

WHAT IS GOING ON?
What time is it? Four Thirty or what? Just sitting around here. I guess it is ten thirty as we go down to the river.
All with my Brown Eyed Girl in a bad world.
In the back room n ot green.
That is allRIGHT as the old rat sniffs around.
Plan a new game
Skipping and jumping.
Whatever happened
With you
You my brown eyed girl?

Making love in the green grass.
Travel ?
Homer where are you when I need you?
Off to get pissed.

THANKS SIR ED
As you would have said yourself : we all have to go sometime, someway. But thanks Ed for a life that has inspired without rant and cant. Thanks.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN
I will be on walk-a-bout for one week. Duty calls. No it is not a holiday although your Zola deserves just that. I am on duty. Back on the 12th January I hope. I will be away from Finland.
So, to stop the fray getting withdrawal symptoms, I leave you with this little musical piece to be sung with hand on heart :-

Dumb-da-da-dumb-dum-dumb
Bom-ba-bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb
Blar,Blar blar blar blar
Hmm, Hmm, Hmm hmm hmm hym
Da daa da daa dar ...................

See you all on the 12th - take care out there.

OLD THOUGHTS FROM ABROAD
As the New Year rumbles on and as part-timers ( who just cannot hold their drink) mix and mingle with the real drinking classes ; and as the New Philosophy takes political spins from ear to ear, then a piece of a poem for all those that sense metaphysical guilt.

" And new Philosophy calls all into doubt,
The Element of fire is quite put out ;
The Sun is lost, and the earth, and no man's wit
Can well direct him where to looke for it.
...................
For every man alone thinkes he hath got
To be a Phoenix, and that then can bee
None of that kinde of which he is, but hee.
..................
Feele this consuming wound, and ages darts,
For the worlds beauty is decai'd or gone,
Beauty, that's colour, and proportion. "

After a sick and first decade to this pathetic 21st century and when even the likes of careerist politicians spin us their new compass bearings as a new philosophy I do hope you, my fellow readers, will find sympathy for olde Zola in the next 48 hours.
Anything can happen !!!

Wish you a better 2008 I do.

PSYCHOLOGISTS SAY
Males must make a behaviouristic type of New Year Resolution.
Women must make a social type of New Year Resolution.
This all sounds like more bullshit to me.
I'm off to check on the Saturday football.

A SECOND XMAS COMES TO ZOLA
In the post today there was a wonderful package. My brother-in-law sent out a few items that he well knows are missing in Lapland. Inside were:-

A Christmas Pudding ( large)
Marmite
Jars of Shippam's chicken spread
Branston rich and fruity sauce
Horlicks
Grow your own Jalapeno peppers
and more........

Due to this day of excitement and gratitude your Zola will not be throwing any under-the-belt punches at those blue-meanies. Not today anyway.

NEW YEAR A'COMING ME LASSI
Dogs are IN next year. Bet on them and pump your money on them.
Dogs are IN.
Cats are out.

Tag Those Demontia and Sir Parkinson and .....
The goodwill Christmas brings forth a host of foolish angels.
Now we should "tag" those deviants even more. Dementia must be hunted down and set under the screens of control.
This, at the same time, as ( it is reported by our reliable press) 55% of the UK population believes that the debt-economy is going to do well for them in the year 2008.
Happy bloody Christmas.
Question? : Who needs to be tagged?

HAPPY XMAS TO ALL
A very merry xmas in fact is the wish for all.
Thanks to to those old lefties that have already wished your homely Zola a sober and sane Yuletide.
Well off to put on a few extra kilos.
See y'all soon.

AN INVITATION AND THEN I GOT HIT UPON
Back somewhere in the 60s I was given an invitation to attend a "new kind" of TV show and this invitation was for my family all. We attended. Then .......
After about 5 minutes of this so called live performance two men began to jump up and down every now and then and show us signs like "Clap" or "make a noise". I was new to this kind of game. But after 15 minutes I simply stood up and walked out in a state of disgust and total loss.
I did not know then just how much this kind of live real TV would progress.
I see it now.
Now I know I should have thrown eggs on the stage or worse.

THOUGHTS ON GIVING A LECTURE IN PUBLIC
I am in the middle or sorting out a few historical things concerning past work and a forthcoming public lecture.
One of the things I have now remembered, from the 1990s, is the rather cold hearted and even nasty responses that came my way after I wrote a firm critique of the following piece of writing from one Doctor in the USA and I quote it below and here :-
" Ninety to ninety-five percent of all people who lose their jobs do so because of a lack of interpersonal skills. Out of the top five qualities employers value most highly, three of them are directly related to interpersonal effectiveness. Skills of such importance should not be left to only genetics or chance. "
OK I critiqued this piece of Phd level writing rather firmly. I did not even try to suffer fools gladly.
But why, for being critical, did I get called a radical troublemaker by so many professionals?
I still think that Doctor is a raving idiot.

JACK STRAW HAS BEEN TAKING LIBERTY
He has been caught red-handed cooking the books and budgets again.
But never mind Condi-Sleezy-Nice is planning an Outdoor Adventure Centre in Panama for him.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
The well known and respected BAE Systems group has promised to provide for each new stake-holder :-
a) ear plugs
b) sunglasses
c) discount funeral arrangements for any family member at risk

The Clean and Clear The Skies organisation said that this was a major breakthrough with value-for-money entertainment.
Hear nothing, see nothing and say nothing.
But there are critical voices suspicious of the senses in all this. One country person said : " what about the smell"?
WE wait for the latest updated news on this sensuous issue.

LONG SERVING EMPLOYEES OF THE UK REMEMBERED
This week marks Queen Lizzi overtaking Queen Victoria as the the longest serving and duty bound employee of the British Empire and England.
Only George 3rd ( if my HIS-story is correct) has served the public longer but he does not count as he is considered a bit too mad to have a vote.
Maggi Thatcher is not amused.

TONI BLAIR BUYS A BARRETI-HOOSE
Best Eco-Deal around he said.

COPPELO FELLOW AND GAWDI BROWN SHOW SPUNK
Trouble is it will all slither and wither in their yellow underpants.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF OCTOPIE ILLUSIONS
Today, after hammering out the wicked 13th with philosophy, I needed to wash the dishes, make lots of food and make the fire in the house. What is this world all about? Godamit.
Shit I will need to shit soon.
But then a thought came to me.
Nu-Labor and psychologists and management trainees. What is common with these remarkable beasts of illusion?
Then the telephone and I felt hungry.
Can you imagine what it is like to slither and slobber, bubble and babble when the telephone rings?
The USA was trying to contact me as my number was given as the dog that slithers and bibbles, babbles and bobbles along.

DEAR MR JACK STRAW
After 350 responses to your Guardian article you must feel today that you have finally been sussed.
You have not changed since your lefty-career days of the 1960s. You are still the same old career politician.
But let me not serve mere opinion here.
You said that the sun rises in the East.
I checked that out today from my European Union position.
Just before midday the sun rises in the south part and just after midday the sun sets in a similar south part that is closer to the west.
Therefore even your obvious objective remarks are way off line.

THE MARKS OF CIVILISATION MEASURED.
How many justifications can be made for absurdity?
No wonder some people prefer animals.
Was in the sauna last night and then looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself if I measured up.
GordiLordi Brown Arse will be putin pen to paper soon.
God I miss Yorkshire spades.
I need a Hairy Gate.

THE VOICE OF THE SHUTTLE REMAINS SOMEWHERE
After rape what can a person do? When that rape is also cutting off the tongue how can we speak?
We send our young ones to war all the time but fuck them up before that anyway.
But has that voice of the shuttle become a commodity?
Can we weave a tapestry to tell the truth in a culture industry?
Can we?

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF
I never think it necessary to find reasons for those dreams ( Don said that methinks ) but for some reason or another I woke up today with Dusty Springfield on my mind. Her music will not leave me alone. After 5 hours of morning white-black blues I just don't know what to do with myself.

Maybe I have been reading too many blogs from Trousers all mixed up like a bruised dream ( blame the Merkgrin for that). Maybe Szwagibaggyeyes keeps thrusting musical Adorno's to me that I yearn for the good old times when a Saxon-Onion really made yer eyes water. I just don't know. But maybe Lavender has gone blonde all over ( I must check that ).
Perhaps this is a vision...............

NU-DEMOCRACY TARGETS THE TARGET-MAKERS
In a sweeping move yesterday the EU select group set up a nu plan for the support of the target-makers.
Special and extra funding will go to the UK and Estonia.
The basic plan is to provide each and every politico with a "behaviour mentor" so that the bad behaviour of politicos can be addressed as an ongoing "process".
Our source in the EU said that " we are not implying that our politicians are at risk but we do want to improve our behaviour patterns and we can do this through personal mentors for each behavioural thing involved."
An American consultant is said to be given the task of implementation.

FUCK OFF ?
Heard it, seen it and spent it I guess but "fuck off" remains a kind of myth that "we" live by. The power of "fuck" I cannot give or receive.
I guess that you do not get the message you are not a member of the team, Or, at least, you do not get fucked very often or at all. I get fucked many times but only a few times with haqqppinessis.
But let us wait a minute here. Could these mean safe sex in anyplace that is a port in a storm?
Could this mean just go away quickly ( same thing really).
Or could this mean a fuck off and away from this mess of the tests of morality.
Could this mean "Fuck when you will Sgt Major?"

LAVENDERBLUE KNICKERS OK GIRL : A ROLE MODEL FOR UK TEENS
In the latest political storms in the UK today the role models for youth are being branded about. So far the Spice Girls and Margaret Thatcher have been nominated for official recognition.
However one publication, a rather high-brow publication too, has nominated the lone-blogger LavenderBlue. As an ex St Trinians girl made good she does, it was said, provide the youth of today with some of the essential ingredients to make that cake and eat it in everyday life.
But our reporter called her this morning to ask for comments on her nomination. The reply was "Fuck Off".
When asked to spell this she spelt it out loud and clearly and did not even add a yer nor wat i mean. Because of this the editorial board decided to continue publishing the LavenderBlue promotion.

JOHN LENNON
A Day In The Life and then the damned death as December 8th is remembered like a Walrus gone wrong and a bad trip on a magical Mystery Tour.
Those were the days with fish and finger pie.

ZOLA GIVES AN INDEPENDENT VERDICT
Cardiff City football club are clearly unfit for purpose. They should be forced into administration as quickly as possible. They are what is wrong with the good sport. Also 10 points, at least, must be deducted from them this season. This is only fair. This is only as it should be.
We must take the high moral ground here.

REINDEERS IN THE UK OR WAS THAT SCOTLAND?
Foreigners, reindeer folk, are now welcome in the UK.
Before it was not so easy for reindeers or reindeer folk.

Reindeers were taken to the Scottish mountains many years ago and with them a Laplander guy. After a short time the UK sent him away. Then the reindeers began to die. The UK asked the Laplander back and, of course, said sorry. The Laplander returned and the reindeer community began to thrive again. There is a "bildung" somewhere with this story based on fact.
If you need to check, check, the stuff from Cairngorms and reindeer.
Compare the facts with the typical UK tourist version of reality today as is written in newspapers and all that.
Yes I did live then and know a few folk that were involved.
But that is history.
What is the Bildung for us and today?

UK SUPERMARKETS ARE SLAPPED ON THE WRIST
For cooperation and solidarity thay are fined tea money.
Interest rates are 5.5 now - cooperation and solidarity?
How am I to make sense of all this?

DECEMBER 7th and the RAIN FALLS
After Independence Day Finns wake up to rain and the green grass showing itself as the ice melts. Snow has gone. Lapland?
Bugger me soon we will have a health spa here for folk from North Wales.

INDEPENDENCE DAY FOR FINLAND IS THE NEWS
December 6th is Independence day for Finland. It was in 1917 that the the emerging Nation State of Finland declared independence from Russia. It was a well timed event as the situation in Russia was a little hot and messy at the time. Lenin recognised this Finnish act officially on January 4th 1918. ( The Brits were not so quick!!!)
By the way Swedes gave Finland away to Russia a hundred years before and Finland became a kind of pass the parcel in all the war games.

But today Finns begin to forget work and begin to cool down for the big celebrations over the next 36 hours.

NEW UK PLAN : PENSIONS FOR ALL
Question in parliament today :-
Q : " What happened to Graduated Pensions?"

CHIMPS HAVE BETTER MEMORIES THAN NULABOR VOTERS
Latest research claims that chimps know after learning just what a real banana republic is and where it is to be found.

FROM THE GUARDIANS OF TRUTH TODAY we read :-

1) Sex education in schools works and Polly Toytown shows us all just how to limit sexual acts. It seems that all we need to do is place a picture of her inside our heads and that will be enough.
2) There should, it was claimed, be more courses for older folk. That is a kind of liberal arts educational type thing course. I shudder at the implications when we see :-
Antiquescant doing courses in kick-boxing and metaphysical poetry.
LavenderBlue with her Domestic Science with the life and times of Marlene Dietrich.
Merkyperky doing an analysis of Page 3 babes with Freudian Fantasy Teams.
Trousers doing daisy-chain design with American Studies.
Szwazzifuzzyman with his Aztec rap with Catholic Radicalism in Poland.

Ah dunno maybe the world would be a better place then.

UK FOLK ARE IGNORING THOSE WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES
The National Health Service of the UK ignores those that are "at risk" through no fault of their own.
UK voters have not helped National Health.
Blair-Brown and all that, from 1066, show well that the UK folk ignore those with learning disabilities.
Voted in Thatcher they did too.
Oh dear me what a very "Poor Law" system.

A SUNDAY THOUGHT FOR MASS CULTURE
Lenny Bruce is gone
But his spirit lives on and on.

UK GOVERNMENT DOES NOT WANT HUMAN BODY AS COMMODITY
The NuLabor latest. The UK human body must not be for sale.
Incredible this considering that this NuLabor is prostitution par excellence.

MOUNTAINEERING A SPACE FOR HOMOSEXUAL PROTEST?
When I was active in the climbing scene there was one thing that really caught my imagination. It was that so very many of the best climbers and mountaineers were homosexual.
Of course it would be obvious that homosexuals would climb just as any other would climb.
But so many of the very best and world famous mountaineers were homosexual.
I have yet to make good sense of this fact.
Was mountaineering a space for homosexual protest vis-a-vis the dominent culture of male and female chains?

WHERE IS OUR NEW LEFT NY-LABOR
After a week or two, after the first wave of PR, where are these new left and all so liberal Ny-Labour workers?
Where are they?
Perhaps they need time to present us with their vision before they provide us with the(ir) programmes.
But I smell a stale kipper on the plate.