DOES JARROW HAVE AN AIRPORT?

If it does the question is : does it need another one?

PERHAPS I NEVER SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT :

Once I had a relationship with a 90 year old turtle ( and I never did find out which gender that dear turtle was attached to).
However my dear turtle seemed to enjoy every minute.

I talked about this relationship to a fine sounding gentleman a few months back as and when I was having a simple liquid lunsch in a very resphectable establissment.

Now I am being asked questions from the Mass Media.

Am I doing something wrong here?

CAN YOUR REALLY TRUST

a politictian-ani-barmi that will say "We will" ?
What is this new marr(i)margi future?

Can one really trust at all without sensing a bit of the past.

THE PLANE LOST BOTH ENGINES

.......................................

NEXT I FOLLOW THE FOUR WINDS

I woke up this morning and saw the light.
I have spent a lifetime following two things.
First I followed the Sun.
Ended up walking around in never-ending circles.

So I changed tack.

I then followed the Moon.
Same result?
No.

I saw different things in that same kind of circle.

GOVERNMENT GRANT GIVEN TO ANTICANT

A substantial funding incentive is given to the infamous Anticant.

The task is simple : To increase Anti-Social Mobility.

When asked a government official said that this Anticant has already proved his value in these arenas of "grey" and "gay" borders. It was said that the Anticant can be fitted for purpose.

Patience : A Virtue of Nature?

Human Nature the nature of virtue?

Take your pick and vote for your Idol.

WHEN HAS A BIG BOY BEEN ...

... Taken to court and convicted of illegal arms dealings and receivings?
Now I mean a big boy here.

MY POOR OLD COCK DIED

My poor old cock was to large for the shelf
So it stood many years on the floor.
It was taller by half than a GILF himself
But it weighed not a pennyweight more.
It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born
No longer my treasure and pride

It stopped short, never to go again
When old GILF man spied.
But his life seconds numbering tick-tock-tick-tock
His ID is fumbling tick-tock-tick-tock
His gold watch a crumbling tick-tock-tick-tock

Me cock is a rumbling rumbling rumbling

Better than a second coming methinks.

NIGELLA I AM SO SORRY BUT ...

It has been revealed. Me past has come back to haunt me.
I have no choice but to admit that I was on TV in the 1980s with my own recipe.
Yes on a kind of cook-food-thing programme.

However all is not lost. I remain standing up proud in front of Nigella.

My half an hour was with pea soup mixed with me own special things.
Pea soup a metaphor for the times.

Sorry Nigella I never meant to get you out of bed in the early hours.

A DAY IN THE LIFE

Yeeha : The sun has just shown its face above the horizon. It is half an hour before mid-day. Yeeha.
Temperature at about minus 20 degrees C so not too bad there either.

Me wood fire burns well although the smoke from the chimney refuses to rise as it prefers to fall back down to earth which means it smells a bit.

Making today a wholesome Cottage Pie mixed heavily with cheese and onion. I also add a little Marmite into it all but this is a secret because me missus cannot stand Marmite when she knows it is there.

Perhaps I should have been a diplomat.

IF ISRAEL REALLY WANTS TO EXPAND ... then

a) Get a bigger penis anyways - get scientific !
b) Get back your DAVID as you are now a GOLIATH.
c) Or just leave ; as most folk do well when they leave your place.