Friday, August 31, 2007

In a grobble with Judy after all that?
But this is the NuLabor ending it seems.

Just to re-cap. The crocodile did get the sausages and the baby was thrown into the linen basket ( nice and soft there) and the policeman was knocked abit with the infamous stick but all was well.

Professor Pulson left out the BABY WITH THE CROCODILE.
Punch did NOT give the baby to the crocodile.
And please do not say yes he did because no he did not.
Your poor Zola was almost in a tantrum when this happened.
But NyLabor refused to support Prof Pulson and his Punch and Judy show so I wonder if this is the way to get cultural capital today in the UK.
Just change the main story-lines.

So there was a happy ending.
Moral of story : do not rock the boat or feed the baby to the crocodile.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Punch and Judy Continued as the Baby Becomes An Issue.

How will this baby grow up we ask.
Is Judy trying to steal the baby from Mr Punch?
Why does Judy have strange shapes emerging from her nether back lower regions?
The baby smiles.

E-Cheques have arrived and I trust my clients I do.
I am also a respectable provider of pubic services.
So the next stage of the saga of Punch and Judy may be activated.
Unless we hear anybody from the backbenchers yelling out no more, no more or Merkin has never been really married before but he is on our files as married.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

FIRST PERFORMANCE SOON ( get yer subscriptions at the ready)
The Punch and Judy antidigital display warms up.
Apologies to Professor John Pulson from Southwold for any future anarchy. You must remember that the Southwold NuLabor Council does not contribute which means that they would find it difficult to sue. But Prof John Pulson deserves respect as a host of young children and I joined in this wonderful frolic of seaside delight.

To subscribe to this long awaited performance just :-
a) answer the question below well, and
b) send a e-cheque to anti-depress@Trousers.dottycom
The question is : Is Mr Punch a good role model for the young people of today?

In "absolute essence" says another NyLabor layabout with a Brown nose. The EU will be reformed constitutionally with a treaty that was well negotiated for UK folk by the one and only Blatcher-Patcher anti-unionist imsen.

I hear the "Four Green Fields" is rarely sung today. Shame.
Everybody trusts their very own "absolute essence" and in the UK this suits a few, a very few, a very very very few, people.
But my sons have sons as proud as ever their father.........
As the UK includes wonderful hedgehogs in their plans to conserve wonderful things your exiled Zola feels proud.
Serve the hedgehogs every evening I do. I take out that which the cat leaves as unfinished and to stink the house out. I add lots of water and place in a dish which the hedgehogs have fun with as they love to tip the dish up and engulf themselves inside as if wearing a dishy hat.
The cat keeps those nasty long tailed, black, ratti-like ( never conserve those nasty things) creatures at bay by hunting and eating. Birds pick up the pieces the fussy pussy refuses. Brown things too are not for conservation says our cat. Fussy Pussy? Never would vote NyLabor you know.

But I smell a rat here somewhere. What about all this wonderful or nasty labelling. The wicked and wonderful Merkin for example is in need of conservation. Why does the UK government not include the Merkin under this conservation plan?

I suspect that Mrs Malaprop(a doodle-dandy) is another breed that needs help.
I would say the same for our tasty LavenderBlue if it were not for the fact that she will reproduce her species no matter what others say or do ( when women began to refuse the bra as an act of liberation LaviBlue was already refusing knickers). But there should be, at least, a special day put aside for our always threated Lavigal. She might always gain a few bucks ( Bucks I said!!!).

Monday, August 27, 2007

Calls in Greece for arsonists to be probed.
Government spokesman said : "This could take some time, but I cannot think of a better way."
According to police reports the insurance companies are saying that this was an act of God.

There I was content and hazing around on a Sunday morning when news comes. The first winter-wood supplies would arrive soon.
This year we have ordered our wood from a local family that will sell us those most precious birch logs.
But, goddamit on a Sunday ( especially after a long Saturday trying to educate LavenderBlue on football and Nottingham).
To cut (ouch) and long story short... this week will be the death, yet again, of the drinking classes. This is no mere bundle. This is...... 5 trailers of logs.
The only good things are that, first we keep warm in winter. Second, everytime I use that chain saw I get good vibrations.
Zola is a very erect greenie when he has a chain saw working.
Better than the coal mines.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Never liked those Rangers lot anyway..........
Sami Hyypia has been banged by Sunderland bring on Tommy Smith we say!!!

For those in denial or withdraws-a-plenty the Punch and Judy stuff comes soon.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Bank of England ( privatised Brown-points as England that is) Says....
These debts will remain social debts not economic debts.
As GDP ( whoever cared for that under Blatcherisim?) sinks under personal debt and responsibility and as being a bankrupt no longer is being a kraut-jew ( just look at the football me lads) - as GDP is fucked to the personal debt-culture industry then it is best for UK folk to move away methinks.
Money-for-money-for-money is but a risk-upon-risk-upon-risk.
What we need is a risk-upon-risk-upon-risk analysis.

Fuck me when I was a virgin.............
But now I need three condoms AND a wank at the end !!!!! ( sori more if you please and tease me no more).
The Triple-X-factor? Oh so very personal ---- sori.
OK the US kills a few Brits again in friendly fire. OK? Not ok.
But nor is it OK for Big brits to kill "Others" in friendly fire, so there.

It is all OK as our "Ken" weeps and bleeps from a London centre.
It is all OK as Brits still remain tied and tried to a tradition that was never really OK anyway. But that "Centre" cared little for the real Fringes outside of ........
Me fingerprints are on code 27564.
Public knowledge that although I cannot say more.
In fact I cannot even use !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very often

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Elk ( some fools call it a Moose) farts too much and damages the carbon copy of an eco-sphere (? , umm, yes...). Anyway the Elk farts too much for human healthy and wealthy programmes.
What can be said?
Elk meat is really good.
I mean bootiful-bestest-good.
Kill more Elk and save the world.
Love the meat the Dr Feelgood said.

If you want to play a part in this programme just read " THE Times" and then slot into the first available flight to the Nordic Lands ( THE Times will help you here).
Stop farting Elk we say. Save our world. The Queen of England supports this as farting is not a done-thing.
UK professors support this too as they think ( even if not bloggers) that farting is just not a decent word to use in society.
Stop the farting Elks.

After review I must say that the Merkin and Anticant are already under investigation and I have heard that soon Trousers and LavenderBlue will be inspected for elk-like anti social behaviour. Anna Mr is already keeping low key on this because her beloved Finland is involved ( and she has contacts, by text massages, to the Forign Minister).

All responsible citizens hold hands and spiritually call for forgiveness as there is a fear that Mrs Malaprop farts too.

After the BBC and other respectable media barons covered Keith Richards and the Rolling Stones on-stage-acts of smoking ( yes smoking!!!!) we see that the Beeb asks for photos from those that were present at such stage acts. Fair enough we suppose and good interactive journo stuff. But then comes the warning :-
" At no time should you endanger yourself or others, take any unnecessary risks or infringe any laws. " ( from the BBC )

Perhaps this BBC risk-management statement could be applied to the UK war mongers that enjoy long summer holidays in the silly season.

Methinks the father of Mr J. Depp is OK but something else is a bit wrong. I cannot just put my finger on it.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

If you respond well to the question below you will receive a 6 month free trial for the now well awarded Zola-Ink-Spots information source.
Add your culture and cultural awareness to your CULTURAL CAPITAL.
Soon there will be the betting-blog ( already hailed as the bestest of blogbets) and those that sign up before the 25th of September 2007 will receive free £10 bets for anything related to bets on a future terrorist attack in Greenland.
Answer well the question below and you become an accredited member. If you answer correctly you will be linking to other future wins and still be free to bet again. You will become a value-added addition to our already growing stakeholding economy for all.

The question is : What is the link between Readers Digestive Bickies and Nixon Tricky Dickies when it is compared to Toni Blair and Homer.
Just e-mail your answer to :

In English speaking cultures ( and not meaning those strange people that speak English as a Foreign Language better that Brits speak their own) We have found, through detailed and solid research, that the most popular mind-set word is "ME". The second most popular is "I" used as a word directly.
Also we found that the term "APPROPRIATE" is another sign of these times and places.

Sources reveal that the Queen of England has taken an interest in this. ITV, the Brit TV station, makes a bid to cover this cultural industry wave of anti-wee and me-pee stains on the red carpet.

Some bloggers have been interviewed already. ITV will not give out details but it is appropriate to say that many bloggers want secretly to be Queens. However, it seems that the bloggers take only themselves as the subject.
We will try to keep you updated on this significant issue.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Damit NO SLEEP for a Zola in these storms of discontent
UK seeks a "Topless" image and they label it e-quality.

I suspect that a few "down-to-earth" nether-regions are needed here before the UK can really shake em down ( Do you love me, do you love me now that I can dance...)
Shit shit take it all down..... down, down .....
Like a mashed spud
Peel it all off
Feel me, fell me, FOIL me
Love me.....
Do you like it like that?
For details buy today's PUN Newspaper.
All Guaranteed by GARTER SNAKE BELT Ltd.UK.

Your adorable Zola really ought to sleep right now methinks.
Jesus wept this stuff is becoming an institution.
Narcissus and Nasturtium es(t) spiritus dum fortussusssus.
Forte non superb-e-baywatch I say.
If I get involved in any more of these blogger awards and tugs and tags I will throw a wobbler and print picts of ME topless.
Could I pass a GSCE with that?
Could I become a A-Class Blogger ?

Bloggers are ok and I enjoy the real fray (when it appens) but all these blogger awards are just too much for a ZO-ZO-BEER to take.
Save me from getting pissed again on all this!!!!
Save ME pleezze!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe too late.....

Monday, August 20, 2007

Horses bring fear to so many but joy to "others".
But maybe that is something to do with riders in their storms.
I say "Votes for Horses".
Votes for women too !!!!
But woman meat and horse or cow meat ( or milk) is under investigation.
Votes for men too !!!!

Eat yer testicles I will.

When mad cows get prime TV time why do horses get ignored when they are just waiting to be the next in the next stud-line?

Votes for WEASELS and ROGUES and banjo players.
Votes for Imps too.

This is called the "Enlighticementisementi"process.
Just call this the anticimentiparty vote if you will.
Votes for all?
Leap up an down with yer knickers in the air - OK.

It has been a very bad weekend for so many. SVEN-the-Grey and his Asian cash flow new-blue dolls ousted the USA in RED-Manchester UNITED. Denmark apologises for this.

Protest in the UK kicked in the teeth yet again by Black Knights on horseback. Never known this before ..... as referenced by a solid researcher of modern antiques. It will never happen again Prime Minister you are free now to ......

But to cap it all that wicked hairy-hunky and horny Merkin has openly implied that Zola is living in history and is an old-fart. Zola is abused for not keeping his blogrole up to date. Lawyers are working on this right now.

There is more. I was spotted on Sunday doing three terrible things. First riding a bicycle to a forest area. Second, on a Sunday, riding alongside me missus. Third spotted picking blue berries and taking them home.
I was spotted and told, on the spot, that if i did not own up to these anti-capitalist acts of potential terror I would be spread all over the internet.
So I confess.
I did those damned things and on a Sunday too.
Cheaper for me to have me self-esteem and public image knocked to pieces than hire another lawyer methinks.

It was a bad weekend for so many.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

James Taylor : a "Great Song Writer".
After a few hips and flicks, pricks and kicks, we learn that James Taylor was a good singer-songwriter.
This from his "trouble and strife" ( wife) Carly Simon.
Anticipation now gets a new meaning and ok for that.
The world keeps spinning around.

So close your eyes.... It's ok

Better sometimes to hear the music through your feet or your hands.
better to play.
Just play.
Hells Angels and Neighbourhood Watch
Can't think of anything more to say on that one really.
WIKIPEDIA : just a wee update
OK Wikidpeadia has been really wikedified. Jesus wept the truth gets warped. For fucks sake tell us something new.
The Independent newspaper still says that Wikipedia is bent upon "democratic acts of knowledge". Sori. Just not true. Wikipedia refuses democratatisation of knowledge as has always said that. Independent please correct your truth claims.

However. FIRESTONE ( infamous rubber trye people of Formula 1) quickly deleted my informative posts concerning slave labour.
In educational circles I found that the trade marked "Outward Bound" had hijacked the total outdoor adventure education site. My alternative comments were blocked. But here the main editor half admitted this in public.

Wikipedia is not good and not bad.
But some people that manipulate it deserve a telling off ( fuck it that was too polite methinks).
What do you expect for a Saturday..........?

Friday, August 17, 2007

row row row your boat gently down the stream..........
Or in other words ---- Fail yer A levels and get an education.
What indeed happened to Punch?
Would love to know.

I blame it on those that forced me to go to bed with boxing gloves on me hands.
never been the same since.....
With an early apology to Cliff Richards, just in case of litigation UK style.

1. GI Elvis had never been able to read Spike Milligan so he lost the war and helped get more and more fighters for that lost cause. When Elvis died the music lived again. I remember then saying that this is the day when fuck music returns.

2. We would not have had the "Monkys" if Elvis had not sponsored them or taught them how to play real-good guitar. I am not a believer.

3. I have a bigger-dickus and do not need some Tom Jones/ Mick Jagger jockstrap to turn you all on. ( actually I may be fibbing here a little for a just cause.)
Breaking Wind-E-News
Keith Richards, commented yesterday, that " If Bliar gets 6 million then I want 7. In fact I want more than Bliar and Clapton gets together. "
Vanity Press is reported to be in negotiations.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

After the Reith Lectures and the past few weeks of "volitile" markets poor Zola is forced into the "Serious Stuff".
Firmly written words say that those that end up taking those risks are those that are in no position to handle those risks. Those that make those risks are quite able to handle those risks.
What is more is that those that end of paying for those risks are those that can least afford it.
The point?
Same old story.
As said before the UK language games are either management training spraket ( you know those targets and things) or psycho-babble USA style. But there is another language game that I picked up on the recent travel. It relates to medico-verbosity ( and nobody seemed to know the meanings behind those words that they used).
For example I learnt about one person who had had a "STRAPADICKTOME" operation and I was told that that explained the constant smile and the wide open eyes.
Can anybody advise on this?
Would love to know........

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

There has been another delay in the Punch and Judy Show report. This has been due to a minor fauz pas cum technical hitch ( quite common for Zo.Zo.Beer).
This most regular blogsite tries so hard to maintain timetables and to keep the regularity intact but sometimes there is a "Waiting for Godot" virus that is one unintentional consequence of Modern Times at work.
So, until I can re-manage this global promise I hope you will be happy and keep up your consumer confidence through this little ditty-bit :-
" Habit is the ballast that chains the dog to his vomit. "

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

On return to Finland I have noticed that I have "put on" 6 kilos. Those full English cooked breakfasts could not be refused. In fact I was usually first in for breakfast with tongue hanging out and mouth watering. Add to that my early morning papers and this 6 kilo weight begins to make sense. I really must change my reading habits and get the Megastar rags. Better for me ealth.
But no worries. I can still see me penis without looking in the mirror.
Ah the most important things in life.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Trip to UK.
From aeroplanes through to airports I failed to understand the English language announcements. All sounded strange to me. It seemed like many large concerns employed "speakers" that could not speak clearly.
Result = few listened.

I was so fed up with this towards the end that I was beaten into rage. I firmly asked one check-in supervisor : " What the fuck are you talking about", as I struggled to make sense of even the 50% that I managed to semi-understand.

There was me thinking that the UK was serious about safety messages.
Oh well, just goes to show.....

Sunday, August 12, 2007

A little goodie that deserves mention :-

" Some call it Madness. Others say it is genius.
Marmite AND Guinness
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait".

Yes Marmite Guinness ( Alcohol Free : Limited Edition )

Good for Hangovers I am told.
Not helped much this far but I can wait.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Bringin It All Back For ME
From the UK I did bring back, as Customs eyes were wide, BRANSTON PICKLE and another BRANSTON with "small chunky bits".

Also in my bag I packed : -
a) My long missed Hume and Smollett "History of England" ( leather bound beauty of four volumes which I nearly sold in the Charing Cross Road - due to me missus saying that we were over-spending on our UK jolly jaunt).
c) A DVD for a fiver : " Life of Brian".
d) Smelly socks
e) A wonderful tee-shirt concerning Aszbo promotions
f) My discharge papers from the Royal Marines
g) My missing works from Karl Marx
h) More Branston Pickle
i) The signature of Orlando Bloomy-boomy ( for my youngest daughter you will of course understand).
j) Electric pictures from the Punch and Judy show on the beach at Southwold.
k) ......... and a few more odds and sods

Jesus... Am I really that normal?

Thank God I am saved.
I forgot to mention the other ten jars of BRANSTON PICKLE
Lord Somerleyton asks for help with his radical postmodern son ( soon to be the Lord imself). At 35 years of age still no fine woman to pin im down and re-create the pure pleasures of recreational pursuits. - this young eligable guy is in need. Father, who has been the Master of the Gee-Gees, seeks a stable companion for the airy-fairy-son.

Well LavenderBlue : I gave im your address although, with hindsight, I might have asked you first. Owever : job done.

To help you a little my LavenderB I can tell you that the soon-to-be Lord failed in his first big duty. He was to manage the pub on the estate ( Duke's Head). But at 35 years of age he has time on his side if he can find a "Woman on Top" to pin im down.

They have very nice gardens too.

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