Monday, April 30, 2007


Yeeharr .... Give me another free pint in the pub away from work.
Vote for me !
You can support me in my erections.

I seems that some folk do not understand a "Labour Day". This would seem to be one more arena of global thinking! In my last post I did assume far too much for those that only give and take with measured-value. But all is not lost. Gender-on-heat.

Labour Day was one day in the year when men celebrated the child-bearing females as being equal and valuable. It was also a day when men demanded better working conditions and better wages. It was like "Onward Christian Solidarity, Marching as to War, with the Cross of a Centre-Left Government, spinning on before ....."

It was a day that the pubs found glorious and it was yet another day when humanity was split from arse to tit. One day, maybe, it will all come out in the wash that men do.

May 1st was also an International Day for folk and with folk. It was that way. Believe me it was. Once. There was once few times when suffering was .....................
Now who will give me a Romantic definition of that which we pretend to talk about?

Old Wolfyprick and his business stuff remains bankable.
If you want a Wolfyprick sperm you can get it from the net.
Good business may not be ethical
Ethical business may not be moral
Bad sperm may not be regulated .... (thank God Banks)

It is enough to forget that International Labour Day is almost beginning.

Anybody have a Toni Blair brain for sale?
Expensive we know ( never been used volkswagons have always been popular)
But just think of the possibilities.

I blame the Sherpas on Everest meself.

Friday, April 27, 2007

An Idiot Returns Eternally

" He had been registered under the names of Jean Marie Mathieu Valot, but he was never called anything but Mademoiselle. He was the idiot of the district, but not one of those wretched ragged idiots who live on public charity."

Did Mr Hemingway really beat the shit of out this guy?

Guy de Maupassant remains standing up in the boxing ring.

Anyway what else is one to do when stuck in the bed with thoughts?

What are we all to do as idiots and ragged rascals in public?

Can I win the lottery this week?
If I can I promise to pay more taxes.
Trust me.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Everywhere in Chains

To be honest never even born free but there we have it.

Off to see the wizard. Back soon.
New Record

Six posts now gone with no comment.
Must be saying something here.
A learning experience.
Yee haa we all gonna die
Zola goes to climb a mountain for spiritual crap intake.

But first I am off to shoot an heffalump and fuck a woozzle.
More pancakes please.
Love those pancakes.

Why are most shoplifters female?

Concerning the cutting off penis syndrome it has been rightly said that many males also suffered from this act of morality. They are also in a London hospital. Penis transplants are also up by 269 points on the Footsee index. The post before should not have made a male and female divide.

Male cuts off penis in eating establishment. After having his car confiscated this male member of society decided to get real. He cut his penis away. He wanted, it is reported, to show himself as a real man without car. Afterwards, as he wept, a BUN reporter heard him say " It was never really mine anyway". When asked why he did this act in public he replied that it "was to educate" and "to make a stand".

At the same time the hospitals are full of patients suffering from trauma. It seems that many of the females, in that big London restaurant, were shocked. A Doctor there said that there were two categories of trauma. The first and the largest in number was a kind of penis envy that was so badly taken away through such an awful act. Lost now in a lost world was how one therapist described it. The second was a kind of self-hatred because many had wanted to do this act themselves but had never quite found the wherewithall to actually do it. So far penis meat has not hit the headlines but it may not take too long before it hits the menu. ( not sure what to mix it with however but .... we wait...)

Anyway London is full to the brim with trauma cases right now. Tourist agents advise the routes to Manchester where the penis syndrome has yet to be discovered and where the football is better. But then it all depends on your character and your taste.

I did try to send this male penis cutter to all the Awks but I was too slow it seems. He only got to Yellow Duck and then blew a big wobbler.
This is not to blame Yellow Duck, of course, but a question has been raised, in the higher ponds, as to the side-effects of the "Pond".

What are we to do?
What can be done?
Who gives a fuck?

What can be said? What more?

Monday, April 23, 2007

GEORGE DAY TODAY : a saint for some

Some celebrate today, April 23rd, as a "Saint George" day. Or should I say that a few people do this. But in the UK that old gas-bag, liar and career politician, Jack Straw, even finds time to write about this in newspapers and to brown-nose his future Brown hole in power. ( That is not courage Jack boy that is simply a repeat performance of your student days where to run was to get ahead). But brown-nosed Jack did not lick the arse of our other George in Europe. Finland also celebrates George day today.

Yrjö. Yes YRJÖ is the same as George in Finnish language. Today is Yrjö day. What connection is there between this and Jack Straw bending down on his knees yelling George? Let me tell you.
The Yrjö call is a famous call down the white telephone. This Yrjö call is often called at least three times. George, George, George, it goes, down that white telephone.

For the Finnish ear it is Yrjö as ERR-REE-YAAAAAAA.

Pissed again Mr Jack?
May I call you down the white telephone sir?


Psycohologistists and manageniment-trainers are in the same pre-packed tin. Somebody said that once but I cannot remember that far back. Process, process, process has been a kind of "in" word ( never a reasonable concept) and that "in-word" has really found an entry into funding systems.

Why do processed things get funding?
A question that will not get funding!

I think it was the 1960s when processed peas became normal.
By the 1970s processed peas were the rage.
By 2007 processed peas were the "will-be-must-be-world" of Natural Morality.

I was going to say something more but I have already forgot it all.
History confuses me.

" Somebody help me there, somebody help me there ..... tell me where I went wrong....

Sunday, April 22, 2007


The narccissistic nature of blogging often twists itself arse about face. Confessions are coming everywhere as if they were out of fashion.
So here are three confessions from a Zola seeking salvation :-

- ought not to have placed an official flag at half mast on the death of John Lennon.
- ought not to have been involved in both a groom and a best man being placed in jail the night before the wedding. This especially as I was that bestman.
- ought not to have placed bra and panties on the flag pole of a highly rated hotel and ought not to have laughed when the newspapers printed a picture of this deed.

For these deeds the Sunday Zola confesses.
But mesuspecks there are others in this lark of blogopeers that need to confess too and need to feel the spiritual glow at finally coming clean.

So by the power vested in me I will hear your confessions on each and every Sunday.

Warning : Best book early to stop Anticant and Lavenderblue filling the net to overfill and crashing the whole damned thing.

Saturday, April 21, 2007


Madam Queen : Happy Birthday to you at 81 years of age. The world owes you.

Note : It has come to my notice that your world ( built upon the theme of Common Wealth ) has been re-structured in such a way that your well deserved pension has been placed at risk. This, we all feel, is unjust. We propose a return to the Common Wealth where pensions are honoured. This especially so since we know that your heating bills for the coming winter will be massive. What can be done?

Friday, April 20, 2007


Why does anyone put up with all the muses of the Awks? Why indeed. Those silly old wits like Anticant, Boldscot and Trousers are really there to tempt us into reflection. It is damned inconvenient but necessary. lavenderblue is not an old fart like those others mentioned above but she is equally a temptress always in disguise. That fluffy and all so cuddlesome Yellow Duck is equally a thorn in the flesh of certainties of the self. Why does anybody put up with all this traditional table talk on the blog?

Are the peasants revolting yet again? Maybe.
Are the (anti)intellectuals getting a grip again? Maybe.
Were the open(ed) knickers of the Guardian of Truth displaying a destiny that was never called for? Perhaps.

But I like it.
It is not that simple but I like it.
What the fuck more do you expect for a Friday!
It used to be pay day but today it is a new debt day.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

MIS-EDUCATION : called "training, training and training.

Can you imagine philosophy ( with a small "p") activated in schools? I have been trying to find out the European way. Norway is one country that enjoys philosophy in schools and for those young folk that are about 8 years old or more.

Of course non-Western societies may work a philosophy too but in Europe there seems to be few Nation States that even contemplate allowing philosophy for kids or teenagers or adult education centres. Is Norway the only one?

One argument I found myself involved with was from a UK "expert". He insisted that philosophy was only for those that had really lived and experienced the world. This was an adult thing, he said. Philosophy is not for kids!

Thank you UK.

Strange though that as a kid in the UK my philosophical adventures of the mind were so strong even as I asked simple questions like who am I? What is up there in the sky? Do I belong to this sky? I certainly did not belong to the UK ways. I asked too many questions. To be child-like was to admit philosophy in some way. A good way.

What the fuck happened to adventure education? Why was philosophy denied to the kids that are alright anyway? Why? What happened I ask.

Or am I merely an Angry Old Man?

STOP PRESS fragments

One son of Zola has signed a new recording contract. His band enjoyed the party which was paid for by the record company. Could not get contact this morning. he must be very busy writing new songs.

If the warm weather keeps on like this in Lapland we will see the ice melt in one of our famous lakes ( Kilpisjarvi) before June. Normally we wait until the first week of July for that event.

The clean white snows of the north are melting to show the rubbish once hidden. Oh if only there was a good scrap merchant around so I could relive my childhood going around collecting scrap and rags and papers and to sell them to nasty Dickens type characters. Is that nostalgia?

Comment recently : " Can you justify lecturing again when the young lecturers need the work?". My reply would not gain me credits.........

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


As the new right of centre-right government spins its way ahead, after the elections and after the new backstage performances of career politicians, one surprise came that raised many an eyebrow.

The new Foreign Minister would be a certain infamous Ilkka Kanerva who is famous mainly for being over 30 years in politics ( achieving very little) and for his conquests of certain female beings ( his text messages have often hit the headlines). He is thought to have a very diplomatic bedside manner as evidenced by his past success rates. He is, of course, conservative through and through.

But at the same time, as this news broke, Finns were told that the infamous Pamela Anderson ( yes the big boobs-job celebrity ) would be visiting Finland soon.

Jesus wept does the new Foreign office work that quickly?

Saturday, April 14, 2007


Corvus Corine and Pica Pica agree to differ and carry on in peace.

That disgusting songbird, the hooded crow, has finally made peace with the magpie. Every year these two families yell and flap about as if war is good. They make their nests and home ground in the trees. About 50 metres apart this year. But they behave in a terrible fashion as if they were trying to be a copy of Yellow Duck and Szwagier on a good day. Anybody who thinks that that silly old twit Anticant is always yapping at Zola should try the magpie and hooded crow. Anticant is mild in comparision. Still a silly old twit but a mild silly old twit.

It all makes work for the working man to do.....

But wait for it as the young will hatch. Then our cat will get it. But until then we are blessed with a peaceful period.

Friday, April 13, 2007


That wit Trousers admits to getting older. But sympathy is too late.
It is all disgusting.
Happy Birthday sweet Trousers.
Now you understand just what it means ..........
A Long Lost Quote That Remains Alive

" My candle burns at both ends ;
It will not last the night ;
But ah, my foes, and oh my friends -
It gives a lovely light ! "

No idea where I got this from. It was written down on a piece of paper in the 1980s sometime and connected to mountains. As I read again that paper it was clear that it was stained. Had I pissed on it? Such is life I guess. Never take books to the mountains.
National Accident Day In Finland : Friday April 13th.

Holy shit thou tempts those seeds of destruction methinks. As the new right of centre right misgovernment in Finland argues about careers and status Finland claims today as the National Accident Day. Whatever next. Fuck me I am stunned. Fell over a minute ago and that woke me up. The ice is still around. Is it possible for a government like this to avoid an accident just waiting to happen? But mercy is the cry.

Thou that takest away the sins of the world have mercy......

Damn it we all make mistakes.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Reality Feedback for those glorious Royal Marines

Facts are facts, cannot change that, so long as you believe me. Let me tell you a story.

During a 6 week training course that would help lead to Royal Marine status I met the only black guy. His name was Adom. He was fantastic in athletic ability but he had been sent to the UK for "training" as he was was considerd a deviant in his native Africa. His parents were very respectable just like the Royal Marines.

One day in the gym when we were all trying to jump over two wooden horses placed long ways ( which is one hell of a jump ) our Adom showed beauty and truth. He floated over those two wooden horses as others smacked themselves all over the place. Adom did it and he did it in style.

His reward?

That same day, at evening time, Adom was given duties. To march around the parade ground ( see J.Swift and Gulliver to get the mathematics of this long haul) and to march around the parade ground with a rifle held ABOVE his head. Royal Marines are beautiful people that we can trust (sic) Very sick! Two hours of very sick rewards from the UK. His parents approved of this.

When Adom came back to the group he was totally fucked.
At that time i was not strong enough to complain or revolt. But at that time i did learn a thing or two.

They tried to break him UK style, Royal Marine style.
But Adom was a natural artist.

He pissed people off but he never did things for that reason.
he was as he was.
He was good.

Why did the Royal Marines dislike him?

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


The "Corp" Royal Marines. Tradition. Land and sea together. Half the world from the UK and the other half from the USA. ( Check the badges). Divide and rule?

Sori mate.

Shit. Back inside and with the spuds I guess.
Or ..... giving me hat to a stripper....
Or fading away with Kipling .... just fading away.

Royal Marines, Royal Marines
The best best in all the universe
The best you have ever seen.

" In the depths of deepest Africa where the Yanks have never been
Lies a body of a Zulu warrior fucked to death by a Royal Marine,
Royal Marines, Royal Marines
We are the best in all the universe
We are the worst you have ever seen.

In the depths of white antartica where the yanks have never been
Lies a body of a polar bear
Fucked to death by a Royal Marine.

Royal Marines, Royal Marines
We are the best in all the universe we are the the best you have ever seen.

Collect your GREEN hat by clicking in.

But there are no polar bears in Antartica.

What you need is training.


Thanks from a polite blogger. Bloggers are nice.
Thank you very much thank you very very very much.

Thank you to Finnish politicians for being with us poor plebes. You all deserve your second pay increase in one year. Bloggers are happy at this and will even blog for free to help the balanced economy.

Thank you to all those Finnish CEO's who achieved 30 and 40 % increases in income. It was quite correct for so many Finns to be made unemployed. Those unemployed should have taken out shares many years ago. Shame on them. let them now learn a lesson.

Thank you Tony Halme ( mentioned before here on my blog) for mistreating women and drugs and guns and all that. Thanks for your honest work in government as a nationalist representative. You deserved your pension which is more in a week than an unemployed will get in a month or more. Let the unemployed learn a lesson from your wisdom.

Is it not nice to be polite and is it not wonderfully correct.
Please vote Zola as the most polite blogger on the www messwork.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Easter Fangs and Tings and Pingpong Balls

I would kill for a nice chocolate egg.

I love you all.

I need a chocolate sweetie to die for.
Have targets will manage.


As I hop down the pathways like a rabbit, in heat of the Springtime madness,
Laughing at my absurdity.

Better that than believing in all that other crap I say.
Back to the hops.


Why oh why do people self-destruct?

Ok politicians get better wage increases than us voters. Ok we pay big business to promote free trade ideology. Ok we have holidays.

Cross my heart and hope to die I cannot believe in Easter.

BTW : We hear that Bliar and Brown from the UK are going to make another sacrifice in Scotland. They do it to teach the others a lesson.?

Tuesday, April 03, 2007


Age Defying Intensive Care AND Vitamin + and all in the "Lumene" package.

Just unpacked one of my old travelling bags. In it I found tissues from aeroplane giveaways mixed with a couple of shampoo samples. Wow! This "Lumene" pack of tissues is just what I need because I am worth it. Opened up the sachet and the damned tissue was dry and like a apricot after a summer of sun backed snake skins has been at it.

Lumene and your radiant gene and vitamin + really must do better than this if you are to claim an "age defying" ingredient.

Maybe i write to complain at
Why tease a poor Zola at Springtime?

Monday, April 02, 2007


Have books ever helped to change our own world(s)? Have internet text(ed) worlds changed things? Have words ever worked with deeds of the flesh? Has the word ever become a deed? Ah, that is interesting. Not boring anyway.

" Let The Dice Decide" and refuse God because God does not play dice with the world. But let us refuse God. God is dead !
" Let the dice decide".

The Luke Rhinehart novel of 1971 called "The Dice Man" remains scary to politicos and academicos all even today.

Throw the die and dice as you will me old Dion. Make a meme-noble-moment :
1. Read the book
2. Go fuck the bank manager or (s)his spouse or partner
3. Refuse to read the book and watch TV
4. Make a blogsite.
5. Go fuck as many of your neighbours as you can in 48 hours.
6. Go kayaking or canoeing at night-time and naked.

Home/Join | List | Next | Previous | Random

The Awkward Squad are powered by