Climate Change : a window of opportunity

The rich already know this and say bring it on.

POSTMAN PAT IS FOR THE CHOP

The hermeneutics of this versus that is to be banned although, this far, they can only ban the messenger.

Is this, yet again, the death of "left and right"?

All We Want for Christmas is :-

My two front teeth?

Can it be? Mr B?

I am sure that we want other things.

For me it is ............. A Christmas Pudding

IN THE NORTH THE ELK IS OFTEN PISSED

Northern Elks enjoy, at this time of the year, well fermented apples and things like that. It does wonders for their X-Factor ratings.

Have you ever seen an elk when pissed?

Such a sight makes me glad to be human.

IT IS SO VERY VERY DARK

As I write I sense that I have hardly seen a sun or even a dim lighted day for sometime now. We are now getting to the dark times.

OK you try and live happily with almost 24 hours of damned darkness.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE "EUROPEON"

Let us face it. Europeons ( that is European peons) have been a'plenty.

There was once a newspaper with such a name.
The crossword was designed for those that had had a tipple or two.

From the 1600s in Britain through to the late 1700s in France the really existing "Europeon" was always getting lost somewhere.

I HAD A DREAM

I was bonking with a beautiful mermaid by the seashore.

You must excuse me right now I need to go back to bed.

I WILL DO MY BIT FOR COPENHAGEN

I will only eat my delicious pea soup on a Thursday.
Over the Xmas I will eat up as many farting beasts as I can.

Along with Mr Murdoch I have de-googled the University of East Anglia.

I am also planning never to piss in the snow again ( even if I thought it was nice art work).

I am working hard on a few more decisions but it may take a week or two to finalise the totality.

WAS IT BILL OR WAS IT BEN ?

That turned the flower pot around just then.

Am I mad if I google and bad if I bing?

A few years ago I would never have dreamt of a thing

Like this.

I AM NOW OFF TO PLANT A LITTLE TREE

I am doing this to show my togetherness and consideration for the world.

This my day of really Royal feelings and celeb feelings at that.

Let us also celebrate, at the same time, our Green Stock wisdom.

WE MUST CHARGE THE BANKS FOR BEING OVERDRAWN

Those that get into pitifully bad debt must end up paying.

After all those savings accounts and pensions and insurance premiums it is high time that the overdrawn banks paid their dues.

WOULD YOU COMMENT ON THIS PICTURE TONI?

You must have seen it before.

But Toni : do you have any nice pictures from Iraq?

WHO SHOULD WE BRAND AND WHY?

It seems to be that loveable and sturdy ponies on Exmoor are being branded. That is scarred. That is classified and disfigured. Are there good reasons why we should "brand" beings?

Of course there are.
We should "brand" our politicians. Not necessarily with a red hot poker but certainly with some kind of permanent ear-ring or burnt mark on the forehead.

Why?
Because we own them. We pay for them. Therefore we must control them and mark them well for life.

WE HEAR THAT : REPOSSESSIONS ARE LOWER THAN EXPECTED

What is really significant here is that a parliament and a party has this lack of historical fact as common knowledge.

BEING AFTER DEATH

I have been a pondering. Which of the elemental facilities would be the prefered choice for our Being after death?

Fire?

Earth?

Water?

Under this rage for privatisation I am beginning to understand that even my poor life will end as an expensive trick ( and a profit for somebody else). That is even with "cut-price" funerals.

I GET THE FEELING AGAIN THAT ...

The war-machine and the political-economy is warming up agin.

My voice is not so powerful anymore. My ears are also immune to Sgt Major training schemes.

But I am left, still, with my sense of smell.

Something stinks to high heaven right now.

WHAT A WEEKEND...

First I was enchanted afresh as my daughter joined with 70 others to perform Adiemus ( Songs of Sanctuary ) and I was lucky to be able to attend as an enchanted member of the audience.

Then I attended a funeral. One of our beloved neighbours died and was buried today. She was only ninety five years of age. It was a very formal funeral. That was OK.

THE RESEARCH HAS BEEN DONE

The results are clear.

Those reading and contributing to the pages of this blog are those with :-

a) a high IQ
b) a high measured mass of cerebral matter
c) long penises, and
d) an inability to suffer fools gladly

JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT ALL

As you will know, or have at least felt deep down in your hearts, we now have the first homosexual BISHOP in the Nordic lands.

She is quite humble in accepting her honour as taken away to an infinate gay period that is a'coming all the time.

I MISS SMITHS CRISPS BECAUSE
Sometimes the little blue salt bag was damp and I could get angry.
Sometimes there was no damned salt bag there at all so I could get really pissed off.
Things were oh so much better then.

POPPY-COCK ANY ONE OUT THERE?

Before I ever would enter the killing fields I would need a strong shot of something or another to stop me thinking.

FROM THE IVORY TOWERS
There is hope.
A thing is only a thing when it is thinging to be sure BUT...

As far as I can make out young students begin to understand that they are but mere "things" in this education game. But ...

As a "human resource" they search for more.

As I understand it now a "thing is only a thing when it is thinging" but what then when a thing refuses to thing all the time?

DUE TO THE DEPRESSION...

I must earn a crust again next week. After all those years of work I had hoped for a bit of peace and fun but fuck all that now.

My main theme for next week is really quite simple ( they pay me) but in another way of saying - my theme is :-

" A thing is a thing only when it is thinging".

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS ON SWINE FLU

There has been found to be a link between prohibition and Swine Flu.

The more prohibition the more Swine Flu.

At last we get some good news.

IT SEEMS TO ME THAT ...

The more people that can read about ultra-Mega-massive stuff the more people can shake their heads in fatalistic disbelief.

Yet to ban the books is one of the worst possible options.

SWEDEN LIKES HOMOSEXUALS MARRIED IN THE CHURCH

It has been 30 years since Swedes said that homosexuals were not beasts to be sent to the knackers yards.

Today homosexuals get married in a church.

Is this the beginning of the "Gay Theology"?

ORGANISING WINTER-WELFARE FOR ALL IS ...

Perhaps it is a Green Man's Burden no more and no less.

As I put out my social "givings" to the little and hungry greedy birds I found a bigger squirrel nicking the whole lot.

I guess I am just an old fashioned Romantic but I do feel that this is a little unfair.

KINDER SCOUT : Protected Now They Say

After wandering over Kinder ( sometimes been burnt to a cinder... and with more stories than even an Anitcant can tell) I hear that those high up peat bogs and rocks and all that are now a natural treasure for the UK.

Anybody remember the protests from a few years ago? Anybody recall the ways that working folk were denied access to the so called "outdoors"?

Brings back a memory. One day as I was tramping upon the Kinder Scout moors I was stopped. A friendly man asked me : " How far is the Snake Inn"?

I Have Just been a feeding of the birds IN MY GARDEN

Then I stopped to cider-consider the real issue.

Was this an act of total absurdity? Was this an act of feeding those that demand feeding?

Or was this an act of welfare for us all together?

I HAVE JUST SEEN

A hyper-ventilating Muppit.

Arh shit this is not going to do my career any good at all.

A FEW DAYS IN THE LIFE

After the first snows it is already starting to feel very cold. At least "up here".

The birds seem crazy in wanting to fatten up.

I think I must fatten up too. I have been that boring old 70 kilos for long enough now. It is time to improve.

I am thinking about eating more.
Problem : ??? :

I likes me steaks red and raw.

WHY I AM SUCH A GOOD EUROPEAN

It is because I am a doppel-ganger.

That is, setting aside, that I am also a decadent as well ordered as the very antithesis of that typical decadent itself.

In fact I have that instinct to be right and wise.

I FEEL OBLIGED TO SEND THIS TO ALL AND SUNDRY

I have been sent this "image" by a woman that has been holidallying in Italy.

I feel it is my duty to inform the public of the dangers that do seem to be rather exciting.

However I publish this picture-text only on the trust that my secret sender inspires.

Oh My Hairy Arse - Oh My Hairy Arse

Let the sun shine in.

Oh my hairy arse
Oh my hairy arse
Let the Sun shine IN.

IT'S "BLACK STUFF" ARTHUR'S DAY A'COMING UP

For all you cult-like experts and for all you pedantic piss-artists I admit I begin one day early. But there you have it and there it is.

As I'ma feeling better right now I'za tinker that I will have a stinker.

Take pity already for my "staff" who do not come from around these parts but are cheap to employ.

IT IS DECISION TIME FOR THE INCURABLE INCUBUS ZOLA

Damit I am on the big list for Swine Flu injections.

I think it is better if I move away, like Frankenstein(ian) moralists to a new home fur(i-furry)there north.

All this decision-making is really quite un-natural you know.

ALL MY OWN WORK

With due respect to my father what you see to the left of you is all my own work.

Zola Has Been a Little UNWELL

Back soon, back soon...

I blame it on that damned boating trip.

Me missis went down with flu.
I kept on giving her good meat injections but soon felt quite weak myself.
I did me duty but I ...

Slowly getting back into the real world but for now you must all forgive my very unprofessional behaviour but ...

It is normal for me to be late with a deadline.

POOH AND PIGLET POP UP AT THE BOTTOM OF MY GARDEN

Let us praise Pooh and Piglet and all ( like Tigger, Kanga, Roo, Owl, Rabbit and even Aunty Anticant) because they have not yet been buried.

In an Green era of transparency and "closure" I will, through a most beautiful picture, show you, quite clearly, who lives at the bottom of my garden.

Praise to Piglet

IT IS TALKED ABOUT - STIMULATION

When a few big boys start talking about "stimulation" I get nervous.

What is a stimulation of THE economy? Is that a silly question?

TENS UPON TENS OF MILLIONS OF USERS

have received an apology.

But it's all right now
( I tell you baby)
All right now.

17 years or 70 years and what have we got?

Another year over and ... if things do not change they will be the same as before.

HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE ANTICANT?

OFFENDERS ON THE "NET" WILL BE DOWNLOADED.

Those that offend against the network(s) will be pasted and cut.

Which University did you "go to"?

Or try to go to.

MYSTIC MANGELEDBUM CAPTURED BY ME CAMERA

Here here Kitty Kitty.
But please no catty politics today.

WEEKEND THOUGHTS FOR LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS

As my Grandmother tried to teach me to suck eggs I now remember one of her words of wisdom that came across me like nothing else before. She told me a little story about my grandfather coming home on a Friday night.

Grandfather kissed her. First on the lips. Then he went down. Kissed her neck and the story goes on as her belly bits were kissed with a passion.

He then kissed her thighs and then he got slapped across the face.

She said : If that was a pub you would not have missed that would you!

WHAT THOUGHTS DO I HAVE IN MY SAUNA?

A SHORT HISTORY OF WINNIE CHURCHILL

IN KINDNESS AND RESPECT : MASSAGE TO MARINA HYDE

Jesus wept our Marina will be burnt out within a year if we do not look after her.

IS IT NOT STRANGE?

Is it not strange when so many "really-lefty-types" were complaining, with a rather academic bent too, about the New Labour education education education thing?

Today the typical rightist media says the same.

I wonder just how many other examples we might find of the old-fashioned Left being proved correct by the established concerns of today?

Can you think of any?

UK UNEMPLOYMENT HEADING FOR THREE PLUS MILLION?

Come on, come on.
The UK economy needs at least 4-5 million people unemployed before it even gets itself into the starters for 10.

Bubble economy things are like that.

Wat you got was Watneys.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY REMAINS A DAMNED GOOD WRITER

Hemingway wrote as if he always felt the tip of the iceberg was enough to be seen. The readers imagination and knowledge would do the rest.

His 4th wife, Mary Welsh Hemingway wrote a very kind and diplomatic book about their lives together. It was called " How It Was". It was Mary that called this top of the iceberg Hemingway "dandy".

The works of Hemingway deserve to be re-visited yet again as there was, as he said in his Nobel Prize winning speech, more to him that meets the eye.

WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS COURAGE AND CONVICTION

This is no time for dilly-dally imps and whimps. Today we need action. We need those people that will stand up straight for the good principles.

No matter what. It is a time to be firm and erect.

I WISH EVERYBODY A HAPPY MONDAY

I have never ever blogged to make money out of any person.

I blog "just for the fun of it".

If that is postmodern then so be it.

A SIGN WITH A SIGNIFICANCE

Even in the postModern world(s) of silly signs there remains some sense.

Signs may remain with reason and truth attached.

SHITTING IN THE WOODS

There was I, a virile young fella, conquering the wilderness of the north.

Then, in the middle of an oldy-worldy foresty kind of place, I needed, dare I say it, a shit.

I found myself a nice and welcoming and horizontal fallen tree. Just the job for this I said to myself with the wisdom of a real outdoors kind of guy. I would sit upon this fallen tree and shit.

But me money wallet dropped into the poop.

Like I said before where there is shit there is money.

A PHILOSOPHICAL ISSUE OF SIGNIFICANCE

What does the shit of a robot smell like?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN POTTY-TRAINED ?

In a recent conversation with a UK University chappie I could not help but giggle ( nearly wet me pants in fact) when he said to me that even the older graduates are not well Potty Trained.


I replied to him thus : " Surely a good University seeks to encourage crap detecting in students"...

Then he got out his feather duster and began to tickle me all over.

Ah dunno Oxbridge is not what it never was it seems.
Bring on the nappies that feel good.

PICTURE OF LILY : send to others who you dislike

This is, of course, a nice little pici from me garden. Me Orange Fire Lily blooms and blossoms like Lily Allen in heat or the Jersey Lily taking a jolly jaunt on the wild-side.

But to send such a Lily to "another" is a sign of hard times and ...

You may give your name list here - I will then send Lilium Bulbiferum to them all and all from me own Garden of Eden.

ROLL UP ROLL UP BUY YOUR DISCOUNTED CHILCOTS HERE

Chilcots are cheap today and cheaper than yesterday

And NO : you are not going to get a picture today with this.
Everytime I give you lot a picture you abuse me self-esteem.

NORWICH CITY GOING ON A TRIP UP HIGH

NORWICH SMELLS THE MUSTARD

Chloe Smith needed to change her image. Can you blame her with a first name like Chloe and a follow up like Smith (( imges of confusion around here as the well muscled and Brezzi-styled eyebrows struggle with a more delicate and Deloitte(tishis) career move)).

But I have it on her honour that "she will not let me down".

Me well tested... orr..onknownies of tradition, as one bastion of bullishness, finds a certain sympathy through such promises.

But I remain suspicious as she studied English Litt at York University.

Why on earth would anyone travel all the way from Naawich to study the gems of Literature we ask. Suspicious I remain.

T'WAS DOWN WHERE FISHER FOLK GATHER'd

As I wandered far from the throng
And
As I searched
For more red sailors on't sea;
Down by the harbour, I heard,
A crippled woman
Sing out!
To me?

Red sails in the sunset

I HAVE JUST TAKEN ON NEW STAFF

I think he will soon be ready for when Peter Mangledbum and Sarah Brownie-Points arrive for their ( all expenses paid) Lapland meeting.

Cherie Blair was also due to attend but the Pig Flue finally caught up with her. She is banned. Never know what you might catch from Blairs.

EXOTIC SPECIES ARE EVERYWHERE IT SEEMS

We learn that exotic species exist. They can be found even between the borders of a France, a Holland and ( would you believe it) a UK.

Or at least the remains of such ...

This all had me thinking about our existing exotic species-beings. Damn I began to think. I came up with :-

1. intellectual mind invited for a chat in the bar
2. sexy beast willing to keep his or her mouth shut in public
3. blogger good at spelling and with grandma
4. hunter-gatherer not on the pay roll of Mr Murdoch et al
5. decent pub in Dublin

OK I know that is only five. What do you expect on a Teas'day.

I HAVE SEEN SYD BARRETT

This morning there landed a kind of UFO in me back garden. Out of it walked what can only be described as a Syd Barrett in drag.

But he is alive and well.

WHEN A WAR COMES ALONG

"Back the great attack ... with War Savings".

IT IS A SAD SAD DAY FOR SOUTHWOLD

The wonderful local radio ( FM) station, based at the school of our beloved St Felix scholars, has been sanitised by that Libby Perves.

What more can I say but a waste of the talent that traditionally comes with the St Felix way of adventure and edification.

Libby Perves? Even without the pun here : this is quite disgusting.

Come on St Felix students do you know what you are getting into here?

THIS IS THE HOUSE WE and our D -503 BUILT

and this is what confused it all.

LIFE IN HELL IS RATHER NICE THANK YOU

Forgive the forgivable delays on this normally Punktual blog. The longest day of the year celebrations just seemed to long tall sally along as if the rest of the dismal year was actually escapable.

Highlights? ( None of you are interested in my social policy lectures or even my political reforms and all you seem to want is my personality and my lifestyle anti-choices ) There were many highlights.

Perhaps the one that places me on the right spot and the tight spot was the evening out with three younger ladies - drinking, dancing and all that. When my lungs gave up it was good to see that women today can come out well on top. At least these younger ladies were younger than me.

Right now, at plus 35 degrees C in the sun, I feel like a lizard with a rough tongue bending ( not a dead man walking but a rough tongue bending) but I fear me benders must stop for awhile until I get back to the calms and the shades of the mundane existence that is the cash nexus.

Me pensions are wilting yet again and I guess I must make some effort to bring in some ready cash if I am to survive this summertime in the ways that I deserve.

MID-SUMMER BEGINS RIGHT NOW
All of naughty Nordics begin the longest day celebrations as of tonight. We need at least one day for practice sessions you see.

The Sun will also not set on the Blair Pumphire.Co.
Tax payers paid hundreds of pounds for his "shredding services".

Anyway I could turn out to be grumpy, very grumpy or terribly grumpy if I have any hangover on this first practice session tonight.
But knowing me, knowing you : You will forgive me and I will not give a fuck anyway.

See you again in Too-morrious-valds.

YESTERDAY'S WORLD RETURNS

It is a sideways world today with the same smart smiles and the same tricky-dicky bows.

But the camera obscura is no more.

Arse about tit is no longer a philosophical subject.

Poor Winston gets famous yet again as he wilts and tilts and as George Orwell is celebrated by a few for 60 damned years of fame and 1984.

But fear not. "WE" were there even before 1948.

MESSAGE TO PM
from me old mate Thomas Gooding

THE CORRIDORS OF CONTEMPLATION AND CONVERSATION

I must come clean. I did do me bits of soul-searching and clarification. It will be clear to you all that I, The Zola, have returned as a better person.

I WILL NOT SAY SORRY ... but
I accepted an all expenses trip to the UK last week ( although I only charged the minimum wage for the public lecture and display). It was never my intention to return home "in pocket" but if you want a lecture from me I am your duty-bound voice of the people.

First I addressed the "Trash Gordon" Campaign Group and then, after a disgusting trip by train, I gave a lecture to a once respectable university group.

The " Pomo-Granite Manifesto" was agreed.

Post-Modernity(isms) are cemented into working-class consciousness. There is no Third Way.

PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING

Your well inflamed Zola must travel again today. In keeping with certain UK politicians he accepts that " coming to the UK is a privilege".


But have no fears this trip should be short and sharp and squeaky clean.


It will be a best behaviour time.

"SEA AND SAND

Here by the sea and sand
Nothing ever goes as planned

Nothing is planned by the sea and the sand"

Mods and Rockers Return to Edinburgh

Damn it the South-East coasts of jolly England deserve this feast of wild attraction.
Dr Jimmy !

"Laugh and say I'm green
I've seen things you'll never see
Talk behind my back
But I'm off the beaten track
I'll take on anyone..."

What is it... all about ...
Jimmy?

NOW IT IS TURDS-DAY AGIN

Woke up this morning with the blues in my mind and I escaped into that philosophical arena that wakes a person up in red-eyed realities.

I looked out at the world of "Being" as "Being". I embraced the earth and the wind and the fire and the air. I then searched for the water. But none was to be found.

So I settled for a beer or two.

I found myself today in an almost predisposed position with the monastic desert .

Fuck that for a lark I said to me sen. I'll av another one.

Zola Is Back Down To Earth

After a typical Homeric journey to the old man above I return. Things seem quite different now. I sat, for awhile, at his Right side and received me medicine. It was time to descend agin.

I "spent a little time" in the Purgatorial Inns (and outs) and met a certain Mr Burgess. He asked me to stay. But I needed to return home. It was one of those decisions that made themselves.

I have ascended and now I return back to earth.
What the fuck more do you lot want I ask?

AT LAST ZOLA IS UNDERSTOOD

I am "lazy and stupid" and in my male-worlds of wanton-wane I stand up straight and erect even if I cannot clean an oven or a "house".

Zola is nearly dead Long Live Zola.

I Call a New Meeting of Minds

You have all misunderstood your kind Zola.

In fact there is a rumour going around that a look-a-like Zola might be seen, to be seen, in the UK quite soon.

Vote for ME in the European Elections.
But be careful of those that PRETEND.

THE ZOMBIES SEEM TO TAKE 2009 BACK IN TIME

No one told me about her
And the way she lied...
and made people cry
and made people cry.

Well no one told me about her ...

Though they all knew ...
they all knew

But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know?
Why should I care?

Please don't bother trying to find her
She's not there...

It's shredded in the biny-bin
dumped in the garden
Away from your eyes
It's shredded in the safety-bin
The safety bin that is your own demise.

Apologies here to all purists that will pin us all ... when is the weekend coming I ask. Gimme space.

I HAVE WITNESSED THE NEW AGE OF AUSTERITY

As I walked out this morning to buy me daily suspensive-sustenance I spyed with my little eye something beginning with B.

It was a bicycle clip - in fact two bicycle clips being worn by a biker.
Yes yes, one on each lower leg. Bugger me do I need to be so pedantic?

Anyway : these clips were not the old type where a flexi-all-round thing is the rage.
These bicycle clips were clothes pegs clipped on the outside of the legs and trousers.

It seems to me that such innovative pegging should be allowed on expenses for any politician. A message to all it would be.

MAY WE GROW GRUMPY OLD FARTS AGAIN?

It seems to me, especially after my recent visits to the so called United Kingdom, that grumpy old farts may actually be fit for purpose.

Perhaps the "old grumpy bumpkins" can take the place of that lost teenager surge to change. It seems certain that the young grumpy types are not really making much of a difference. ( Irony intended )

BRING ON THE NAPPIES I SAY AND JUST WATCH US RANT AND RAGE.
FUCK that dummy I wanna breath and yell and rant.

LATEST PREDICTIONS FOR THE DANCING CYCLOPS

From the always variable "Paganini" blog we find that the ailing pigeon is relieved by the "Pistolet".
Temps de... Pigeon if you will.
Faille Ferme.

Gordon Brown will show his ballet skills, on YOUTUBE, for all to see and admire.

BREAKING WINDY-E-NEWS
Mr Rupert Murdoch has done a deal with enough governments to give him the power to charge me to enter his news-sites. Whore of a man I say.

THE TROPIC OF CANCER NEEDS A GOAT
Considering the recent UK blurbs on the South Bank Show I can only weep gently in strong anger.

I come to praise "Rupert" and to bury him. Such was Dennis Potter in the 1990s. Bragg let it be and Potter was allowed to remain and re-enter into this TV cultural history.

You see Culture Ways can still remain difficult but yet worthwhile.

TIME FOR A CLEAN SWEEP
I had, of course, forgotten, that today was the day to have me flue cleansed. There I was, in the middle of me morning habits, when the damned chimney sweep came.
Anyway me flews have had a good sweeping enough to last one more year.

Like to be clean in me flews I do.

ZOLA SHALL BAN :-

More than sexteen grandma types and sexiobscenei grandpa types from this increasingly popular site.

As a Daily Mail consultant I can ask you, the real reader, to make your voice heard in public.

Who would you like to be banned from the Zola site ?

THE TRIAL OF ZOLA BEGINS

As I woke up this morning I was accused of going to bed with a hangover. Now I well understand that we all go to bed with our beautiful partners in crime and then wake up to sin - but this is just too much.

I am not innocent !

BEASTLY NEWS FROM ZOLA

It appears ( after a message from the Captain of the ice-breaker) that Zola is in sick-bay. The boat is nearly free of the ice packs and soon to be in free waters.
Zola seems to have picked up a virus from close contact with the minotaur.

We will keep you all informed as we receive the latest news.

"WE GOT SO CLOSE BUT THE MINOTAUR WENT UNDERGROUND"

It is now known that your intrepid Zola failed to grab the Minotaur. The escape was under the water although the Zola squad did their level best to prevent this happening.
As far as we can make out the squad is rather tired and knackered right now but they have said that they hope to make it back on dry land before MayDay.

THE CENTRE CANNOT HOLD

The unshaven and tired and bedraggled Zola has shown the true spirit of the British.

He has sent us this picture in the hope that you will all find strength and courage in these cold times.

ZOLA SENDS US PHOTO-EVIDENCE OF THE GRAVE

Here lies ( sorry lay) the, emotional and challenged, running, lady, wearing jack-boots.
We planted a Christmas tree in the ice and at the spot where she was last seen.

It was the only decent thing to do in the circumstances.

As Christmas comes upon us all we, will, remember our lady of the jack boots again in far better times.

Just wait unto Christmas.

ZOLA-NEWS UPDATE

As far as I can make out, as fuzzy connections are everywhere, Zola is away from the Sirens of the South and thrusting his way through the ice of the far north.

Radio contact was difficult but it seemed that Zola was saying : " I am getting closer to this monster that has been created by Dr Frankenstein".

We here at HQ are rather concerned.

ZOLA WILL BE AWAY ON A QUEST : BUT ...
Anti-Tuck-Buck-un-Beadled will keep the home fires a'burning.

APPEAL FOR HELP : MISSING PERSON

Your humanitarian Zola has agreed to use his wide blogging influence to call upon his flock to help in finding a missing person. Brian Christopolis has gone missing. He is usually nicknamed BC.

He was last seen hanging around the hillsides and wearing hippy-style clothes. He has long hippy styled hair.He also wears hippy style sandals.

Information is needed because many people are suffering. His mother asks for a closure on this whole issue so that all women can rest in peace again.

PASSING OVER LENT AND ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

After a careful consideration for the feelings of my frustrated parish I decided to make an attempt to enjoy things like Hot Cross Bunnies. A very, no, very very, educational experience was had by all as a Good Friday merged into what can only be called the New Saturday of the Sacred Cows.

And then, in the still early morning, as I remained smoking and hot, I spotted a Snow (shoe) Hare gobbling up me bloody bird food.

I spotted the beast because its pure white hair was changing too quickly to a summer brownish colour. We are still with snow up here you see. I suspect that poor Snow Hare can expect a big pasting from the resident black hooded crows soon.

Sometimes I have watched as the big birds attack both the hare and others. Believe you me it would hurt.

Now let that be a big warning to those that will talk about Easter Bunny things and Hot Cross Black Hooded Crows.

Next time to attend a protest demonstration make sure you wear the right colours so to fit into the scene.

Let all this be a warning, for all.
Those that change their spots too early in the natural ordering of things get a kind of cum-up-pance quickly.

DOWN AND OUT WITH AN MBA
I know it is awful to keep yapping about "East Angular" and therefore service the beast - but I really must complain here.

No matter what some UK people think : George Orwell was a "Plongeur" or at least a dirty dish washer.
He was not some "Gastronomical Hygiene Technician".

By the way I wish you all an enjoyable crucifixtion coming up.

THE INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION ...
Well I guess it never quite made it but there you have it and there it is.

The colourful scientific revolution did OK but ... ( even the alchemy of a Maggi Thatcher was not good enough to make a "social"-chemical work).

I think that I need to work with my hands again.

I JUST FUCKED A FAT CAT

Garfield will never be the same again.

GALE WARNING IS NOT IMMINENT BUT POSSIBLE

It is only fair to warn my many and distinguished bloggiques that the grumpy-o-meter is unpredictable right now. Your windy-News might not be as polite or as gracious as you have so rightly come to expect.

If Norwich City Football Club fails to win today and firmly boot Sheffield Wednesday into next week then a wobbler is likely.

If such a thing happens, God FORBID, the public is warned about the content of this blog next week. It will be, at a minimum, Adult-Rated.

Gordon Brown : G20 Own Goal

As the G20 information system gains momentum Gordi Broon has put his finger in the pie and pulled out a plum and then said FUCK IT .. and said what a bad boy I am.

The global arms trade giant BAE ( British Aerospace and Marconi and all the little tax havens ) are furious at this G20 information pack.

My source tells me that Brown has a cunning plan to keep BAE stable and in a growth curve. It is understood that brown has invented a new word for protectionism.
Watch this aerospace !

PLEASE BE PATIENT STILL : THE UNITED CONDOM WILL PREVAIL

Give me high hopes, gimme high hopes
Give me pie in the sky and ....

ZOLA WILL RETURN TO FAMILY VALUES IN BLOGGING
Let it be known that Zola feels that he has been far to lenient and all too often shown a fuzzy morality in this blog site. I must take my part of the blame for this sad condition of our once honourable institution of bloggers.

So from today Zola will not allow inappropriate, suggestive or subversive acts to be soiling this site.

AS I WAS SURFING THE GOVERNMENT PORN SITES ...
An e-mail came to me.
It was from Jack-Boot Confickor.
It was very suspicious so I placed it under junk.

I do hope that I did the right thing.

GIVE US A BREAK ...
For the last two hundred years or so the working class have been asking for a break.
But we never existed as human beings then.

Little has changed.

THE INFAMOUS HOME OFFICE SHALL BE RECTIFIED

I guess that is what is when a bit of brown is tasted.

A GOOD BLOGGER MUST BE TRANSPICUOUS
A blogger that we trust will say a firm yes or no to questions like :-

a) Have you ever had sexual intercourse on top of a grave in a church yard?
b) Have you ever read the Daily Mail?
c) Have you ever used a credit card?
d) Have you ever masturbated in a public place ( exciting it might be)
e) Have you ever voted for your political party and been proud of it?
f) Have you ever bought cheap wine or beer from a supermarket?
g) Have you ever thought that an Australian is intelligent?
h) Have you ever needed to take a shit when no public toilet was around?
i) Have you ever shit in a public place?

and finally :-
Have you ever been human all too human?

I have my special system for evaluating the responses. Trust me.

WHO GOES TO BRAZIL AFTER THE BIG FESTIVALS ?

Who goes?

Who?

MASS SOCIETY EQUALS ENERGY IMPAIRED
..........

CAN WE ALL COME TOGETHER ?

Oh yes we will.
Not unfortunately in the birth pangs of this or that.

We will all come together when we die.

DID YOU KNOW ?
You will soon be able to get from A to Z in 30 minutes.

It is better, I think, to walk.
That may take me "days" but what wonderful days they might be.

But why did I want to go from A to Z?
Back to bed.

CULTURE OF VIOLENCE
Is the latest trailer advertising the film "Wanted" really a warning to us that sexy Angelina Jolie is planning a school killing event?

I WILL CUT MY NUCLEAR ARSENAL

I will quit my viagra supplies and intake.
I really cannot afford it anyway.

WHY I AM SO EXPENSIVE
The blue sky and the sun shines upon my roof. The deep snow covering is melting now day by day.
Gone. My insulation gone.
More electricity bills and/or more wood fires a burning.

As the snow melts I get colder.

If it gets much worse I will need a Willie-Warmer in bed tonight !

WHY I AM SO ALONE ...
is because I cannot blame anybody else or any big and fancy global terror for my own damned faults.
Maybe that is why I get kicked up the arse sometimes by "others" that are all too foreign and friendly.
But my sword shall not slip from my hand as I battle the quaking of the gates of both heaven and hell.

WHY I AM SO CATHOLIC ...
a) I like to light-boat candles in the wind
b) I like blowing out candles in the calm
c) I am just a pain in the arse.

After so very many complaints last week about philosophical funbits I am now determined to suffer no more of the sins of consistent incontinence.

SOCRATES SUCKED ON THE HEMLOCK DEAL
Suicide is a strange tradition.

However I would not want suicide to be institionalised !
Why?
Because suicide has little or nothing to do with personal freedom.

WHY I AM SO WISE AND CLEVER ...
It is because of FISH.

HOW TIPPLED I AM...
When playing my organ in the best traditions of a Beethoven or an 1812, or even in a tradition of the church, I do like me tipple.

Wherever would the Arts be without a tipple or two?

THE BOOTY OF THE WORLD
" In spite of difference of soil and climate, of language and manners, of laws and customs : in spite of things silently gone out of mind, and things violently destroyed ; the poet... "

More opiumism please?

Pension-fund managers and politicians and ... ... poppy-cock fuckers take new strength now from the "things violenty destroyed". This may be your last chance to destroy more.

"ALL CHANCE, DIRECTION,WHICH THOU CANST NOT SEE ...

All discord, harmony, not understood ...
And spite of pride, in erring reason's spite..."

Is there anybody here that springs to mind?

" For forms of government let fools contest;
Whate'er is best administered is best ...
Thus God and Nature linked the general frame,
And bade self-love and social be the same. "

SEIZE THE DAY-MOMENT OF CARPE DEIM

Should that be Carpe Diem"?

No, no - no, no-no-no-no.

Dime is better.

Rumour has it that an uncertain Gawdi Brown has misunderestimated the political economy and his own humour. Just rumours.

I might be wrong here - but history will tell the real story.
Karl Marx said that kind of thing as he was humble and human.

THE RAMBLER BECOMES THE RAMBLUR
The Modernised Rambling "Association" foot-falls as Essex-Person.

Damn it I can remember better times when we walked into criminality.

IF "PEOPLE" HAD ONLY "READ" HITLER ...

Maybe Europe would be different.

Or may we read some of the pain-things on the walls?

What do we read today and what do we ignore?

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING ...

I said to me missus : " Friday today already. Weekend a'coming".
She replied that it was only Thursday.

So in my best diplomatic way I replied that : " So that's alright then".

ROMANTICISM RETURNS
At last after a long dark winter we get a bit of sun back with a blue sky. OK it snows all the time and it takes between one and two hours to clear away every day it snows but I feel like a born-again-Romantic.

My trick was simple. Just go slow and do bit by bit. Take a double dose of the medicines mixed with a few beers. Yehah snow work becomes a pleasure in the mid-day sun.

I know how Samuel Coleridge must have felt ...... cause I'm feeling the same way about you all.

AFTER SUFFERING FROM BLOGING-WRIST I'M BACK

Your poor Zola has been overworked and underpaid agin and agin.
Having been called to be Chairman of the gender and equalities commission me ed spins.

What is more is that I was also called to serve High Culture in my role as consultant to the committee for Correct Spilling and Grandma.

Whatever next.

I LOOKED INTO THE MIRROR THIS MORNING and ...

I said to myself that this is a very very silly silly person indeed. The Mirror replied in agreement.

Then I decided to be very very silly, again, and blog agin.

Then I read the international news from the Daily Mail.

A DIZZY DAY DAY AGIN
Today we have had, quite clearly(?) the wrong kind of snow and far too much of it.
Walking to the local shop this morning was pure struggle with me cognitive competences.
The wind was blowing and the snow was getting up my nose.

DOES JARROW HAVE AN AIRPORT?

If it does the question is : does it need another one?

PERHAPS I NEVER SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT :

Once I had a relationship with a 90 year old turtle ( and I never did find out which gender that dear turtle was attached to).
However my dear turtle seemed to enjoy every minute.

I talked about this relationship to a fine sounding gentleman a few months back as and when I was having a simple liquid lunsch in a very resphectable establissment.

Now I am being asked questions from the Mass Media.

Am I doing something wrong here?

CAN YOUR REALLY TRUST

a politictian-ani-barmi that will say "We will" ?
What is this new marr(i)margi future?

Can one really trust at all without sensing a bit of the past.

THE PLANE LOST BOTH ENGINES

.......................................

NEXT I FOLLOW THE FOUR WINDS

I woke up this morning and saw the light.
I have spent a lifetime following two things.
First I followed the Sun.
Ended up walking around in never-ending circles.

So I changed tack.

I then followed the Moon.
Same result?
No.

I saw different things in that same kind of circle.

GOVERNMENT GRANT GIVEN TO ANTICANT

A substantial funding incentive is given to the infamous Anticant.

The task is simple : To increase Anti-Social Mobility.

When asked a government official said that this Anticant has already proved his value in these arenas of "grey" and "gay" borders. It was said that the Anticant can be fitted for purpose.

Patience : A Virtue of Nature?

Human Nature the nature of virtue?

Take your pick and vote for your Idol.

WHEN HAS A BIG BOY BEEN ...

... Taken to court and convicted of illegal arms dealings and receivings?
Now I mean a big boy here.

MY POOR OLD COCK DIED

My poor old cock was to large for the shelf
So it stood many years on the floor.
It was taller by half than a GILF himself
But it weighed not a pennyweight more.
It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born
No longer my treasure and pride

It stopped short, never to go again
When old GILF man spied.
But his life seconds numbering tick-tock-tick-tock
His ID is fumbling tick-tock-tick-tock
His gold watch a crumbling tick-tock-tick-tock

Me cock is a rumbling rumbling rumbling

Better than a second coming methinks.

NIGELLA I AM SO SORRY BUT ...

It has been revealed. Me past has come back to haunt me.
I have no choice but to admit that I was on TV in the 1980s with my own recipe.
Yes on a kind of cook-food-thing programme.

However all is not lost. I remain standing up proud in front of Nigella.

My half an hour was with pea soup mixed with me own special things.
Pea soup a metaphor for the times.

Sorry Nigella I never meant to get you out of bed in the early hours.

A DAY IN THE LIFE

Yeeha : The sun has just shown its face above the horizon. It is half an hour before mid-day. Yeeha.
Temperature at about minus 20 degrees C so not too bad there either.

Me wood fire burns well although the smoke from the chimney refuses to rise as it prefers to fall back down to earth which means it smells a bit.

Making today a wholesome Cottage Pie mixed heavily with cheese and onion. I also add a little Marmite into it all but this is a secret because me missus cannot stand Marmite when she knows it is there.

Perhaps I should have been a diplomat.

IF ISRAEL REALLY WANTS TO EXPAND ... then

a) Get a bigger penis anyways - get scientific !
b) Get back your DAVID as you are now a GOLIATH.
c) Or just leave ; as most folk do well when they leave your place.