Thursday, January 31, 2008

Damn all that honesty let us get cracking with some real news.

1) Brechin City ( somewhere in Scotland which is somewhere in England) has been banned. Thank God for decent decision-makers.
2) Paul Macca Artyfarty has bought the rights to the Joe Brown archives and then refuses to give them air. He said " It is an investment for my family".
3) England manager El Cappicino Supremo refused an evening dinner engagement with Posh Spice saying that : " I like to be on top".
4) Comment from Kevin Keegan : Northern Rock is in safe hands".

Soon to be updated ( but please send in your latest news so I may moderate it and change it to serve my own tastes).
Stop Press...... President hopeful Billireum Clinton is not amused as his puppet-performer Hilarious Frillyhairyarse denies giving a blow job ( to calm him down?) to other President hopeful Obiwhamer. Comments from Republician orifices say that " This tastes of bad politics".

Ed ( no ball games here) promises 30 million to add advertising campaigns to the London Olympic Games. These advertisements will, he says, " help the war on fat cats and cash cows and cheap tin trays". Toni Blair approves saying that " this is real value capital at work".... fat folk are a threat to our social networks..... ".

Oh shit I'm being gagged and........ the Blairy-eyed-Brownies are tagging my arse. ......... Must go..... Bentham had nothing on this... scary stuff.
On advice from my lawyer I can only say this : " The wickedness that I have witnessed was before my knowledge of "testing" techniques. It is only now that I know that a UK government can inject a substance abuse into UK subjects in the public domain. ...... //// ................/// .... ...... Off for a run I am.
Fayed and Fulham ( which is on the worst side of London) are taking over Finland. Finnish football players are using Fulham as their training ground to take over the world ( without doping). Fulham manager Mr Roy Hodgkiniski denies any take-over, a "merger is what we see it as" he said. Watch this space.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Since those fateful 1980s I have been sooooo very pished off about the trend towards narcissyisms, vanity and the distasteful verbal "stomach problems" of a broken society.
I put this question ( what to do about this all) to the still active and Right Honourable Mr Thorpey-Porky.
He said :-
" Suck on this ".

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Oh yes once upon a time there were public toilets to think upon.
But you have 10 questions to ask to find this place and person.
A frustrated Zola can only tell you if you are right or wrong or give honest, really really honest, answers to your questions.
If you professional-educated lot manage to get it in 10 I will post a really really really honest pic on this site and that will turn a few eyebrows.

Monday, January 28, 2008

100 % Honest !!!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The trend since the 1800s, or before, has been global.
Today the moral panic is "looting".
Even the Bruscaa-Bruiser-land, Aussi risings, complain about looters.
I might find more affinity with the social bandits than I do with the "City" or with those that prefer to link "individual problems" with market losses and glosses.
How is it that James Bond is still so popular?

Anyway : who are the looters? May we ask?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

In a disgusting 21st Century it is sometimes necessary to eternally return to some of those little bits and pieces that are reflexive and demand reflection.
One such ditty, for me, is this :-
Any thin gloss, upon a medium-soft surface, when scratched will display the essence of the matter at hand.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Advice from the working class.
Tighten up yer arses!!!
Seb Coe, who used to run around in circles to get famous, was talking recently to sound byte Blair and bind-bond Brown. The full text of this conversation has been put into wraps by a court judgement. However a few remaining bits and pieces remain to be published for peons to read.

Seb Coe : " Too many people are after me. They do not trust me anymore".
Bind-Bond-Brown : "Keep your head me laddie. Solidarity is the key here and nobody votes anyway so you are safe with us."
Seb Coe : " But people are saying that my work is hurting people and taking away the financial support for community sports and arts."
Sound Byte Blair : " Let them sow and reap and sell their harvests themselves. Give them freedom of choice. We need more high fliers unzipped. Government money must never be wasted on the public or the society. As my mother used to say : the public society does not exist.

Seb Coe begins jogging around and around the track.
Then he is inspired.
He will take his next job as the International Coordinator for the Afghan zones of influence. His head spins with an almost spiritual glee.
He tells this all to Brown.
Brown replies : " Sorry I already have that myself and booked up for 2009. Ask Toni.
So Seb asked Toni...............................................

Monday, January 21, 2008

a) Buying a kebab in Pekham at night
b) Eating a kebab in Pekham
c) ........... ( answers before Tuesday please )

Appropriate winners and losers will be noted on this site.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Here it is :-
What do you think this comment really means? :-
"London's Heathrow Bids For Normality After Crash "

Thursday, January 17, 2008

choose your seats

We hear that Brown, the UK premier gift to liberal society.dotty.con, has told the world that the UK will give, as a "gift", the English Language. The UK will also help spread this gift to all that need it so much even if they are in deep poverty caused by colonial greed.
How nice.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A woman rescued after two days stuck between Edale and Buxton. The Mountain Rescue, police and other emergency services found her, in a car half way down a hillside but she has survived.
On arrival at the hospital the woman, Helen 46 years of age, said that a very special person had helped her to survive but he left just before the Mountain Rescue came along. She said "He was dressed like the best kind of Spiderman, he was kind and he served me hot rum totties... But there was something different about him. He wore only one sock."
Police are asking for the public to help identify this local hero with only one sock.
The police said that " this one-socked hero is not under suspicion of any wrongdoing yet."

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Street warming up before the flood.
Like it I do.
Heard two days ago : " The empirical whole is the untrue ".

Monday, January 14, 2008

The Sexual Life Of The Workers
We hear that even a senior policeman, an inspector plod no more no less, is up to that very unBritish act of human meat injections. The poor Plod has been fucked and out.
Remember, I do, as a student working in a factory on the 12 hour night shift. Then the conveyor belt broke down. The "ladies" became bored.
They decided, on mass, to plonk one of me mates onto the belt. About six ladies held him down as a few others bonked him and did the most terrible things to him.
God damnit it should have been me!!!!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

What time is it? Four Thirty or what? Just sitting around here. I guess it is ten thirty as we go down to the river.
All with my Brown Eyed Girl in a bad world.
In the back room n ot green.
That is allRIGHT as the old rat sniffs around.
Plan a new game
Skipping and jumping.
Whatever happened
With you
You my brown eyed girl?

Making love in the green grass.
Travel ?
Homer where are you when I need you?
Off to get pissed.

As you would have said yourself : we all have to go sometime, someway. But thanks Ed for a life that has inspired without rant and cant. Thanks.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

I will be on walk-a-bout for one week. Duty calls. No it is not a holiday although your Zola deserves just that. I am on duty. Back on the 12th January I hope. I will be away from Finland.
So, to stop the fray getting withdrawal symptoms, I leave you with this little musical piece to be sung with hand on heart :-

Blar,Blar blar blar blar
Hmm, Hmm, Hmm hmm hmm hym
Da daa da daa dar ...................

See you all on the 12th - take care out there.

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