Wednesday, December 31, 2008

WHAT CARE I FOR WIND OR WEATHER ?

Steal your soul, boys
Don't let it go boys,
Sail it homeward
To Bonkers Bay.

and then :-

Bonkers Bay
And walk ashore
Blogger Lads for evermore.
Bonker lads ......

Ah well - best get back to the seas agin methinks.
Not fit to live on shore.

Happy New Year to Ya'll

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

GAWDI THE PINK THE PINK THE PINK

Just for the fun of it.

Gawdi the pink the pink the pink
Refused to think to think to think, as,
The saviour of the human race a-cest

But he has invented a medicinal compost
Most creditable in every way.

Monday, December 29, 2008

2008 WAS FULL OF PRETTY BOYS AND POLLY-PARROTS

The free-market religion is not dead it is only sleeping.
The magic of Madoff remains until the Hobbits can muster up courage to go on their quest for the Holy Snail.

Friday, December 26, 2008

THE BLUES RUN THE GAME
IT will come as a shock to me regulars but "red" gets an ASBO today and me normally colourful displays are thought to be nasty and threatening to those poor sensitive souls of generation Z. But I am allowed to use "green".

BUT : Damn it all Harold Pinter must somehow continue. We have just lost, this Xmas, Adrian Mitchell. We have lost our beloved "Cat Women" and her old fashioned house. Damnit it is time to be red on the bed, beside the bed and sometimes under the bed. This may sound potty but that is the price you pay for such word-games that meddle.

It seems to me that the Bushy-Pussy-Blairy-Fairy-Broonie-Foonie lot have been lucky with their Xmas pressees this year.
For 2009 it is time for decent folk to get a few nice presents and gifts and create a few scenes that inspire. Bring on THE ANGRY YOUNG FOLK.

Or will you keep telling me lies so that I must smash the mirror to see what is JUST behind?


Monday, December 22, 2008

TELL ME LIES ABOUT ..............
Adrian Mitchell is dead. On this bastardly blog, like on trillions of other blog-mind(ed) bastardly sites of construction, Mitchell lives as family.

Tell me lies about Vietnam................

Put your penis in (w)rappers
Tell me lies.

Paint your blogs in perfume
Spray your words with spin
Say me
Inappropriate
Sell me lies.


WHAT CAN YOU SAT WHEN YOU ARE LATE AGAIN ?
Oh OK - What Can You SAY if that is better.
Fail me SATS I do all the time.

No I am not pregnant.

It was a couple of days travelling on trains. In fact about 24 hours on the train and the rest doing that which train travellers do betwixt and between such enlightening, sparky, beasts on the rails.

As my good readers well know I am not one to complain overmuch but this time I really must insist on a public personal protest.

The bar in the restaurant wagon closed at 03.00 hours in the morning and I still had 4 hours of travel left to suffer on my return journey.

Whatever happened to public service?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

"WE" HAVE NOT DONE VERY WELL AT ALL
Perhaps it was the perfumes of perfection that ended up smelling of that awful body ordour.
Maybe it was, but a mere mistake, human, all so very very human.

But I cannot say that either we or I or us have done very well at all unless I or "we" look and learn with everyday folk.




Monday, December 15, 2008

ROYAL MAIL ALREADY PRIVATISED
Reports from the UK incline again to the incredible pressi-pissi.
The Royal Mail needs privatisation, it is said, by those above us and by those that do not need to deliver.

But THE Royal has always been private even if with a public face and paid for by the public purse.

But the mail has always been private. Open my mail and I will get quite pissed off.

Such is the ideology that is within the stamp of the Queen.

THIS VOMIT BUG IS A PEST

Stay indoors and just think about things.
Trust your government to close all the doors and control this pest.

Report any illnesses that you see to the highest authority that you know.
This Plague potential must be prevented at all costs.

Internet chat is allowed because the plague cannot travel without real human hands and blood and mud.


Friday, December 12, 2008

ETERNALLY RETURNING AS DISPOSITION

" To burn itself on a funeral pile and to rise again from the ashes,
In the freshness of youth.
To be",,,, To be
That which is recycled .........

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

OH DEAR ME IT WAS REALLY ALL SO SIMPLE
After my recent AWOL ( I do the sob sob story you do the hug hugs stories) it has all come back into focus. Any day now, anyway now, I shall be released from that continuous losing of the marbles.

It was all so simple then after waking up and finding myself working class agin : Made mesen beans and chips and eggs all mashed in vinegar and salt.

Bliss ..................... nowt green or red or blue on the plate at all.

Friday, December 05, 2008

DEAR Marje
I have been asked to display my self in a competition for the most buutiful old fart that remains doing lectures at a University.
Perhaps this is quite inspiring as who knows what such a display might lead up to.
On the other hand I feel I am too intellectual and mature for such an event and I feel rather exploited already.

Can you give me advice?

Thursday, December 04, 2008

NEW UK SURVEY REVEALS HIGH LEVEL OF ABUSE

The IRATA think-tank group have published their conclusions from a five year study concerning abuse in the UK.
It is revealed that between 80 and 90% of UK folk are badly abused.

This rather academic and dry report was not sponsored by the Duke of Westiminister of Coy.


Wednesday, December 03, 2008

UK LEADS THE WAY
We hear that, at long last, UK folk can rest in their beds easily now. The introduction of LIE DETECTORS is to become the reality.

The next trials are due to be held today during the Queens Speech and thereafter during the responses from the right honourable members of P.

By this afternoon some time all will be revealed.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE BOYS SAY THE BRITS

A survey of European males informs us that the French are very well hung indeed. Indeed the French are the biggest dicks in the EU.

The second place in this biggest-dickus survey went to Sweden.

The smallest-dickus place was taken up by the Greeks.

The professional point made here by these university researchers was that there needed to be more rubber in the rubbers for the French and the Swedes. Existing standards remain satisfactory for the Greeks and even their statues.

Monday, December 01, 2008

THERE REALLY MUST BE ORDER IN THE UK HOUSE
After years and years of very very strange goings-ons in the UK house it is up to the responsible citizens to demand an enquiry.
We call on the SPEAKER to take charge of this leaking ship.
We call him OUR Speaker.


Thursday, November 27, 2008

FLOGGING DEAD HORSES
I guess a few might find a warped kind of pleasure from the flogging of dead horses, but - is it possible to find a way to avoid the flogging of real living folk ?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

MY PUBLIC PRONOUN(i)CEMENT
My good readers of this moral blog : I stand here before you today.

Do not let the word slip from your hand.
Until we have built delusion land ...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A WORKING-CLASS LETTER IS SOMETHING TO WRITE

Deflation increases the real value of debt. The debunking of the big boys and girls and the failures there within display the hidden debt that is a very big debt to the working classes.

Inflation only increases the image value of ... you know who. Do you do you do you do you wanna dance?

As far as i can see fuck all has changed.

Friday, November 21, 2008

A GATHERING UP OF ME MARBLES
Me dreams were so deep and real and memory became, itself, became as if alive. I had forgotten most of all that.
Me dreams, oh me dreams, from on-the-back and from laying, laying down, down to breather-breath-intake-mode as a zone, a different breath.
Whenever possible.
Feel the plastic.

One week in bed re-invents the present ghost.
One week in bed escapes the present ghosts that haunt... ...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

DID I SAY THAT I WAS BETTER
Bollocks !
Doing a review of the news from the UK for last week I feel sick.
No I do not subscribe to the Daily Mail. ( but that is part of it )

If we accept the individual bits of responsibility and all that - we are still left with some kind of massive social and structural calamity in terms of basic human well being and a flourishing community.

Can the Pale Daily Wailies even understand social structures anymore?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sunday, November 09, 2008

GAWDI BROON HAS A DEFINING MOMENT
In the "Guardian of Truth" today Gawdi Broon showed his Monty Python credentials. Such will be studied byour children and the children of our children and our children of our children who have even more children and children and children as history is written.
Latest comment from A Python is that "Brown needs a new dog licence".

Saturday, November 08, 2008

JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT
I, personally, at this moment in 24/7 time, absolutely and with all due respect, believe in Oxford. Our country needs quality and needs to refuse any university on the (it's a nightmare) Isle of Dogs. Oxford is needed to keep our language codes correct.
Oxford is fairly unique in this essential cultural anchoring fuction but, OK, it is not rocket science.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

LETTER TO SCOTTISH LABOURERS
Maybe it would have been better for Glen Clothes to have avoided totally the fatal attraction. To have said that enough is enough with a blow job. It seems that the world according to Garpy Gordon is thick and full of very dangerous liaisons.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

LETTER TO OBIWANNABE
Could it it be possible that an American Democrat might even consider mentioning a few words from C.Wright Mills?
For example :-
" Ours is not so much a time of big decisions as a time for big decisions that are not being made. A lot of bad little decisions are crippling the chances for the appropriate big ones."

Monday, November 03, 2008

Gawdi Broon gaffs
" quid pro quo" is banned.
Yet Gawdi Broon Boy has used it NOW.
Check it out : I am too lazy to give you the easy way.
Have a nice week

Friday, October 31, 2008

THE "GUNNERS" ARE IN TEARS
Arsenal Football Club are weeping and crying. They need a hug.
No this is not irony.
This is another part of the Brand-Ross game that few will critique.

Gimme back me football I say.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

NEMESIS IN FASHION AGAIN
After so many years of Hubris ruling the waves of self-esteemed social capital it seems that Nemesis returns.
But this invisible and sometimes divine Goddess of retribution ( bring her on I say) has been disturbed and she is now alert after a few years of what we can call her 40 winks.
Who is responsible for giving our Nemesis the new kiss of life?
Who will be next to find their very own Nemesis knocking at their door?

What we need here me maties is a top ten list.
Now get to work with no thought of idle banter.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

MR G.W. BUSH HAS TO CEMENT HIS LEGACY SOON
Ok, ok, maybe you say that he has already done that cementing.
But there are just under 3 months left of his president-time and this 3 months is a very long time in politics.

Will he make more war?
Will he try to play golf?
Will he "return" to the booze?
Or will he do all these three things and all at the same time?

Answers please on a postcard addressed to : Education for Five Year old Futures @ Sarah Palin Institute for the deaf dumb and blind kids.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

DEAR MR BRAND
Well "Little" boy lost in New York you seem to have lost your dream. The Daily Mail will not be taking you on as an intellectual, cutting-edge, voice of the people.
Maybe "Little Britain" has a spot for you.

In the end, Mr Brand, you will consider that you should only take the piss out of those that are big enough to respond to your intellectual challenges.

Mr Brand man : Take care now because you have been fucked and you hardly know it, yet.

Monday, October 27, 2008

HOOGIE-POOGIE COULD YOU LEND ME A DIME?
Really need a bail-out here.
Trust me I will pay it all back. ( not from my own account, of course).

I call on you all as citizens of the world to lend me a dime.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

NATURE STRIKES BACK
Just as your ever-professional Zola gets going on his warm up exercises to be ready for the big game this afternoon - what appens?

A host of waxwings descend upon me training ground.
About 30 at last count.
Most disturbing as I think they are beautiful birds.
OK I like birds anyway........

Friday, October 24, 2008

I'D LIKE TO SPEND SOME TIME IN MOZAMBIQUE
La Luto Continua.

( This has nowt to do with the "End of History" splurgs I just want to have a damned good holiday).
OK maybe I was listening to Dylan and Fanon and.... and double-checking on the twists and turns of Faki-Waki-Woogie baby.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

MORALITY TO MATHEMATICS AND MONEY DOTH FLY
It has come to pass ..............

God Damit those Lap-dancers are distracting me from me rightful duties as an old fart.
Where has all the wisdom gone .. where has wisdom gone? Far far away.
You need to sing that by the way.

If the dubious father of a certain Toni Blair would only have had a decent sex education at primary level then the Catholic-Bliar would never have had the need for a Scottish habit.




Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I HAD INTENDED TO BEHAVE THIS BLOGGING YEAR ... but

I feel a big wobbler coming on.
Problem?
I cannot quite decide which damned mess to concentrate upon.
Anyway at least one thing comes out.

Those that rage about "Marxism" now find themselves able to actually read that body of wicked work.
In fact, it seems, that the works of Karl Marx are selling again and are no longer banned by the blue meanies of the media.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A DAY IN THE LIFE I GUESS

Yesterday was a big nasty. I needed, really needed, to go to the dentist and get an old worn out back tooth pulled.

Still full of mind-blowing pain-killing and legal substances I walked home trying to smoke a fag through one side of my mouth. Every now and then I needed to stop to spit out the damned blood. Fag in hand spitting blood walking through the town.

Many people looked at me, stared even.
But I was high enough not to care.
Puff puff gobb gobb wobble wobble home.

Now, today, I feel guilty.
I ought to have had a bottle of beer in my other hand because that would have given the crowd something to tell their kids.




Tuesday, October 14, 2008

" Bosses Pay Price as Taxpayers Move In"

The Guardian of Truth today makes yet another headline that almost sends a Fhinking person to Florida.

But I suspect that this is just and yet another sad example of how free Capitalism re-invents itself !

So just to repeat : the bosses pay the price as the taxpayers move in.
Now you understand .............what you tried to say to me... how you suffered for your sanity ...
... as the beat goes on, as the beat goes on.

Monday, October 13, 2008

A LOST PLEASURE PERHAPS

As you know I do not work away from home very much. Some would say I have never worked much at all but that is not the point here.
But sometimes i am thrust into public workplaces a few times in the year and I have begun to notice something.

Fewer and fewer people whistle when they work.
This is sad.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

TROUSERS CAN BE TIGHT

After some worrying months it is now clear that "Trousers can be tight" and if you do not believe me go down to the South of Sudan today and you can be sure of a big suprise.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

NEW POST
Please give your thoughts for our brave new world a'coming.
Jean-Marie Gets a Nobel Prize

Frenchy guy with a strange sounding name get a Nobel Prize for Lit.

Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clusio ( hope I got that right inspector) is the man.

Shame on me i guess but I will try and pick up now on some of his works which do, by all accounts, deserve readership.
Oh well at least I have another "name" to read when i am in bed without a woman or women.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

WHY ?
Why would a first year university student want to listen to an aged old fart who rattles and raves at the most ridiculous levels?

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

POLITICAL RELATIONSHIPS
It seems to me that a clear FIENDSHIP presents itself as FRIENDSHIP in the atmosphere that we breathe today.

But ; bugger it, I will carry on with friendship even if it is a subversive relationship that will never, never ever, cowtail to idle and idolised senses of contract.

Monday, October 06, 2008

CORRECTION : AS IS OUR POLICY
We said here, under the respectable Zola-Ink-Spots publications, that MP Peter Mandelson was "Qaint and Quibbling".

Due to a technical error mixed with our out-sourced editor we made a big typo.
We should have said that Peter Mandelson was " Qaint and Quisling".

Zola apologiZes for this technical fault although due to circumstances can never promise not to make the same kinds of mistake again.

It is the technology stupid "

NOTHING PERSONAL
Sarah Palin says : " I don't need no smear test" I have always felt that Mr McCain is a straight-up guy.

Friday, October 03, 2008

OCTOBER 9th : DECISION - Get yer bets in now.
The Nobel Prize for Literature will be announced on Oct 9th.
The big bets are silently on Philip Roth.

THE QUAINT AND QUIBBLING HERO RETURNS
Your very own Peter Mandelson is to return to the UK after a spell in the EU.
Mandelson is to join a new team that will return Newcastle United and the Northern Rock to past glories.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

BEFORE MEMORY FAILS ME

Lady Diana
Children at your feet
Wonder how you manage
To make them meat.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

NOTES FROM THE NORTH
I aspire from my humble shire,
For,
Something beginning with :-

F


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

US GOVERNMENT CALLS IN CHINESE CONSULTANTS

We hear today that Mr McPain and Obiwhamma-bamma have called in Chinise consultants to advise the US on matters of public support.

As you all know a Chinese aircraft was broken down on the landing stage and as we know the airport workers and the passengers were called in to push the big machine off the runway and into a safe place.

McPain and Obiwhamma-bamma both agreed that " this was the kind of public spirit that was needed for the USA to be functioning well again."

Thursday, September 25, 2008

THE BETS ARE ON.

Toni Blair will be the next to sit on the throne.

This far all is on evens. But it is a good bet in the making.
WORDS PAY NO DEBTS

Was that Troilus or Cressida or what ?
Question for the British Citizenship Award.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
Many European countries are considering this matter right now. Breakfasts at all hotels should be available for anyone and everyone for the payment of one Euro.
However this would only apply to the buffet table.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

ANOTHER SHOOTING AT A COLLEGE IN FINLAND

This morning we all heard the tragic news of another crazy shooting. Yes I said crazy.
Crazy !

Monday, September 22, 2008

" FROTH IS FUN", says Roger.

It may or may-not suprise you but Roger Alton has made a pinkey-perky that all can relish if only for the links.
The ed of the Indi has spoken.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

PLEASE SIR : NOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN NAUGHTY YOURSELF

Can I now use the oopps-word?
Can I use the "C" word?
Can I talk about Capitalism again without getting a spanking?

Friday, September 19, 2008

TRIBUTE TO SIR ALAN GREENSPAN

" Up and down the City road,
In and out the Eagle,
That's the way the money goes,
Pop ! goes the weasel. "

Thursday, September 18, 2008

DID KARL MARX WEAR A UNIFORM ?

Did a contradiction ever find a synthesis?
OIL PRICES CHANGING DAY-BY-SECOND
If Gawdy Broon fails to do something the oil prices will drop to 5 dollars a barrel. The market is cold.
But, we hear, things are being done and the price of oil will return to the natural level next year and remain stable at 199/b.
THAT WAS A DECISION THAT WAS.

Sweden sends their Swedes to ensure PEACE in Georgia.

We can only hope that these peace-keepers are more aware than those that try to keep the peace in Swedish football matches - yes, in Sweden!!!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

THANK YOU ROBERT FISK

In yet another humane and sensible article Fisk ( Independent) gets us all thinking about the realities of war and war-mongering.

May we remember a certain writer/journalist Henri Babusse who said, through his characters of his book Under Fire that we not only send the guys off to get killed or maimed we fuck them up first !

Friday, September 12, 2008

LONG HAIRED ACADEMIC ENCHANTED BY SARAH

The well known A.C. Grayling, in the Guardian today, shows his spurs and his spikes like never before. He has come out of the closet. But before you waste your time reading his long winded rant just ask yourself what his opening words really mean. His article begins with :-

" One of the marks of irrationality is failure to profit from experience".

If anybody can explain this comment I take off me hat and eat it.

I doubt that most folk will suffer this little piss-take because the profits are always made through a failure of the vast majority to learn from experience.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN IN THE NEXT HALF-HOUR

Certain powers that be out there are trying to throw your poor Zola into a Black Hole.
So if today and soon Zola vanishes then it is your duty to put him back together again so civilisation has a chance to progress.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

MY FAMILY JEWELS ARE NOT FOR SALE

I care not for the fashionable credit crunch brigade. I care not for the merchants of Freddie and Mae. I will not allow me family jewels to be sold.

I am not a prostitute and I am not a politician. Me family jewels are not for sale no matter what the market says.
Me family jewels are renowned for being a safe bet in times of hardship.

Monday, September 08, 2008

IT IS NOW OBVIOUS WHEN BEFORE iT WAS JUST A MOVEMENT

The NU-Guardian is fucked. It runs scared and even their American Dream withers.

Nu-Labor is fucked. It crawls scared like a rat caught out and thrown to the water.

What then is left?

The only thing that is possible today is totally different groups gathering under a kind of common banner. This means a Manchester Guardian mixing and picking bits and pieces with a host of golden blogs that will say no to the killing fields.

This means an alternative political anti-party that really matters.
SWEDISH FAMILY FIRED UP BY ID CARD NUMBER

One Swedish family " is bedeviled by daughter's beastly ID card number".
At the end of the new born ID card is 666.
Swedish officials say that at least 100 Swedes every year get born with this 666 number.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

FIXTURES AND RESULTS AS THEY HAPPEN

Good afternoon campers we bring you here our renowned results service for the International events as they happen :-

It's Macedonia 1 Scotland 0 ( sorry Merky unperky today)
Macedonia, a small catholic community north west of Iceland rooted out the Protestant bias of this humble Scottish team that was led by a rather insignificant manager who once played for Ipswich Town.

So just to rub it in Macedonia 1 Scotland 0

Andorra 2008 England 1860


FINANCIAL TIMES AS CULTURAL CRITIQUES
Due to me pension pains and me claims in cases of social justice I feel a strange kind of pleasure in reading the Financial Times. Erotic. The latest little piece I give you here - or at least little bit to chew :-

" ... the battle over evolution is a class conflict disguised as a religious or moral conflict. It is comforting to look at the fight over evolution as one that pits the educated against the ignorant...."

Friday, September 05, 2008

SOCIAL ORDER RESTORED IN AUSSI
We are happy that social order in Aussie-Land has been restored without too much correctional intervention.
We can rest now that the new Governor-General, Quentin Bryce ( known to the close friends of The Queen as " Bruiser-Bruiser-Nice) is sworn in.
She is the first real female Governor-General to oversee the Aussi-Lands and by all accounts Aussi males are lost for words.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

THE ANTI-THESIS
After all these years of trying to get to the thesis stage
All I have left is Sin.
And, that is, before I even got really started !

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

TOMBSTONES WEIGH HEAVY TO KEEP US DOWN

If you had remained silent you would have remained a philosopher.

Monday, September 01, 2008

LATEST TRANSFER NEWS
Abbi Nationale has joined Westminster Ditherers for an undisclosed fee.

Winger Miliband has joined the Tory Tigers on a free transfer.

Thai Tie-die de die die Thatsoon joins Hampstead Hopsters Utd. It is believed that this was under a Bosnian contract.

Hellin the Queen joins Fulham FC on a pay-by-play deal.




Saturday, August 30, 2008

SOME BAD NEWS AND SOME GOOD NEWS
Bad news is that Autumn is coming as our silver birch leaves turn yellow. Damn it is not even September yet.

But the good news. Me Boletus Edulus is something to be proud about, as the good neighbour said to me this morning, in the garden. A wonderful specimen, she said.
I thanked her very much, very very very much.

Friday, August 29, 2008

PM GAWDI-BROON IS NOT DEAD

Today we hear that the IT Industry and Military Industrial Complex has confirmed that Gawdi Broon is not dead. ( profits depend upon his life-long-learning abilities, they said). UK-IT Job OK.

From Russia the response was rather sympathetic. Putin said that Brown was needed and his foreign minister too. Long live Broon.

From China the response was also supportive of Broon. It was said today, at a press conference in Iran, that : Gawdi Broon is not a fat cat on heat and dresses correctly at times.




Thursday, August 28, 2008

WEIMAR REPUBLIC TOURS

We regret to announce that our guide, Mr Miliband, has suffered a terrible and personal fate.
Therefore, under the terms of our agreement, we must cancel these tours.
We are sure that this will not be bad for you. Tours to the Weimar Republic are now cancelled.

Our tours to the northern parts of the UK are still going ahead and already booked up to value-added credibility. Mr Millibrand is available, he says, for these tours.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

THERE IS NO EXCUSE ...

There is no excuse today for being :-
a) Ugly
b) Stupid
c) Boring, or
d) Deaf

Why then are so many of "our" politicians like this?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

BLOGGERS ACCUSED
It is now clear that bloggers are accused of using a limited vocab. Shame on those that accuse. ( that was 20 or somat words used already with no repitition!)

Simple folk use only a few words. They ought to do better.

But how many words does it take to make a good fugue?
Which words should be added when the blog blogs today?




Monday, August 25, 2008

DEMENTIA CEMENTIA : ALAS MAGGIE NOTHING MUCH IS NEW

Did you remember, Maggie, the poor that lived just down the road?
Did you remember what got YOU to that Chemistry bench at Oxbridge?
No, no, of course you did not.
You did it YOUR WAY.

" And now, the end is near and so I face the final curtain.
My friend. I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case of which I'm certain .........."
I did it demented.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

SUNDAY POST

The infamous and glorious cricket-chap, Mr G Boycott, says "adversity never breaks a good man". ( Boycott was also slow on the score-scale but he sure did score). Boycott has often been labelled as a man who needed a mother and not a girlfriend or companion-in-lust. So I thought on this good Sunday I would seek out a women-friendly response.

This far I come-up with : " Adversity in men often makes a good woman".

I am still seeking............


Friday, August 22, 2008

BIT OF SENTIMENTALITY FOR THE WEEKEND

" O wad some power the giftie gie us;
To see oursels as ithers see us.
It wad frae monie a blunder free us ..............."

Thursday, August 21, 2008

RONNIE DREW REMINDERS BLOCKED

Another kind of folk-hero has been blocked from the petty-netty bloc.Con.

Free distribution of Drew and the Dubliner songs have been taken away and out of sight. Even in China Drew is on a rocky road back to Dublin without even a listen. The UK denies involvement in this anti-capitalist programme of artistic interpretation.
LEOPOLD ABSE : ALAS, WE NEVER GOT TO KNOW YOU

Leo Abse understood something about Civilisation and its Discontents but he was put to grass already in Wilsonite-nightie-nighty-nights. That was the irony I guess.

Dylan once sang a song about Lenny Bruce. Who will sing a song for Leo?

Will Blair smile at the cemetry?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

GOD DAMN'IT IT IS WINDSDAY AGIN
Seems very blustery out there today.
American voices cry out in pain.
Bring back nationalisation they say.

Yee haaa : profits for the people
Profits for the people
Like you and me.......

Monday, August 18, 2008

OVERHEARD ON SUNDAY : A MESSAGE FROM ABOVE

" Those that taketh away the bins of the world have mercy upon us."

Saturday, August 16, 2008

JACK STRAW RECEIVES A TONI AWARD and says :-

" Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life ; and I will dwell in the House of Lords forever".

Friday, August 15, 2008

I AM OFF TO RE-CLAIM AND POSSESS
Just doing me job.
It pays well.
History always repeats itself.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

AT LAST : GOOD NEWS FROM THE PROPERTY MARKET

Those of you that trust E-Bay-Watch will already know that various summer houses and holiday homes are for sale in the Black Sea area. This is the time to buy.
Some are also available, at good rates, from The Caspian Sea coastline.

A buy to let deal here is still possible so long as you are quick on the draw.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I AM A VICTIM
I am a victim of racism.
This world keeps trying to get me to run before I can walk.

Monday, August 11, 2008

THE IRISH BRING US BACK TO SANITY
Over the weekend, the Irish from the town of Killorglin, refused Olympic distractions and gave us a good taste of common sense.
They elected a KING OF IRELAND. A male goat. For three days this King will find the heavy duties of office but will also enjoy the perks.

Blair a poodle? Bush a monkey with a gun? Stalin a walrus? ( I once wrote about a certain Foreign Minister as an elk - boss was not much amused although I did manage ).
How many animals do we have in politics?

Saturday, August 09, 2008


ARE THERE POLAR BEARS IN FINLAND... OR IS THIS .....

a) Merkin not perkin after a weekend in Inverness
b) The Burrow Beadle "resting" on a Sunday night, or
c) Gawdy Broon doing intelligent


Wednesday, August 06, 2008


THE HISTORY OF THE LABOUR MOVEMENT SINCE WILSONITES


Friday, August 01, 2008

Mr BROONDANGLES
Lyrics by anonymouse with band

I met him in a cell in New LaborLand; I was down and out,
He looked to me to be the eyes of age as he spoke right out.
He talked of life he talked of life he talked of life
Mr BroonDangles
Mr BroonDangles

..................................
.............................

The best continuation of this song lyric will receive a Zola Special.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

WHAT IS LIFE IF FULL OF CARE ?
Wow! That was some journey. Bit longer than anticipated but there it is and there we have it.
But I am back to let you know that I can still rock and roll.
Do you love me?
Blame it on the buxom wench I do.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

THE TRIAL, LIFE, and ADHOCRACY
Due to conditions out of control your blessed Zola must travel again. I guess it will take about two days of continuous boredom and suffering.

If I get another young teenager jerk asking me to show me passport and all that - if I get another privatised mercenary trying to get under my skin - I really think I shall whack em.

Hope to be back by Tuesday - so take care out there you bad boys and gals.

Friday, July 18, 2008

WHY ANTICANT and THE MERKIN ARGUE as TROUSERS DITHERS
It is all to do with the "Frontal Lobes" ...................

Thursday, July 17, 2008

SOMETHING QUITE DIFFERENT NOW
After a blog concerning Southwold your poor Zola is taken to the cleaners by subversives ( even when the Proms is just about to go pubic). But your Zola listens to public feedback.
So let us reflect and reasonably debate upon the latest sighting of Ronnie Wood ( Anticant; he is a member of the Rolling Stones band who used to be a Small Face and that is all you need to know) and his rehab jolly jaunt in Southwold a few years ago ( forgive my time memory a day sometimes becomes a year or even a year into the present ) where, according to St Felix School borders, all borders were crossed and trangressed as sex was the healer of lost souls.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

DAMN IT - THIS REALLY TAKES THE PRINGLE

PM Brown is taking his summer hols in me beloved Southwold.

Friday, July 11, 2008

FUNDING EVENTS COMING UP SOON
My saucy sources tell me that two fund raising events are planned :-

1. A Millwall football team is to play the "Best of NuLabor". All proceeds will go to the National Health Service Reform Fund.

2. A Hull Rugby team is due to play against the "Best of the Guardian". All proceeds will go to the "Guardian America Project".

Have you heard of any other events that might interest us?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

LET THEM EAT CAKE OR PRINGLES
After Gawdi Broon did his Queen Victoria bit we are all now OK. The spuds are not where it is all at.
Pringles ( you know Pringles and Proctor and Gamble and all that) are no longer classified as "crisps" or "potato chips". They are now closer to good old brown bickies or at least multi-cultural wholesome-ness food.
As the taxes go down so too will the price of Pringles, they all say.

Best buy ? Easy : Gin and Pringles please.


Wednesday, July 09, 2008

SOMETHING FISHY GOING ON HERE
Six feet were found recently washed up on Canada's Pacific coast.
Rumour had it that the attached socks were from Marks and Sparks.

Now, in the south of Sweden, a shoe has been found washed up on the shore. There was a foot in it too.
The local Swedish police have refused to disclose the shoe manufacturer but admitted that it had an Italian look about it.
The United Nations has sent a statement to the press concerning this new wave of lost members. One paragraph was aimed clearly at respectable ladies and others of that bent. It said : " Ladies, when walking along the beach, are advised not to even look at condoms on the waterside. "

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

YOU ARE NICKED DRUNKEN IN CHARGE OF A LAWNMOWER
Before you get at me and abuse my self-esteem I would like to say that our good Anticant speeding around the posh areas of London is OK and his wheelie-chair is OK too ( it has a laptop attached).
So too with our Trousers and his sexy bicycle things. All OK.
Just about OK is our Merkin who always seems to end up in trouble when he takes a supermarket trolly for a ride downhill.
So let me not judge for I know not good from bad.

Anyway two Swedish men, adults around 40 years of age, have been caught by the local law-enforcers. Drunk in charge of two motorised lawnmowers. They were speeding to the pub.
They said that they were not in good condition to drive a car.
The police were not impressed.

Rumour has it that it was the wives that telephoned the police to tip them off.

Swedish women never had a decent sense of humour.....

Monday, July 07, 2008

MALE MEMBERS MAKING A COME-BACK
I guess it all started for the Brits when Hadrians´ Wall was plastered with phallic symbols ( too big they were) and the Roman Empire was sussed.
But male members are making a come back it seems.
Can´t say too much yet as I still have a few house-points to get back after the Mid-Summer frolics.

Friday, July 04, 2008

JULY 4th
Me missus has ordered me to shut up and say nothing.
So here I am saying nothing.
Wise missus she is.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

CAMPING STANDARDS FOR NULABOR CONFERENCES ( get togethers)

07.00 Cooks aroused
07.30 Campers aroused
08.15 Breakfast
08.30 Washing-up, cleaning and airing of the bedding
10.00 Inspection, flag break ; prayers
10.15 Activities
13.00 Light lunch
14.00 Activities
17.30 Tea and biscuits
19.00 Dinner followed by free time
20.30 Camp fire and yarns and story telling ; songs
21.30 Prayers ( followed by a hot drink, soup or cocoa )
22.00 Lights out ( silence)

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

CAMPING STANDARDS... And ....
Dishes for main meals.

Breakfast
Porridge, Cornflakes, etc
Bacon
Sausages-fried....
Eggs - boiled ; scrambled.....
Fish - Kippers, Haddocks.....
Raw or stewed fruit

Lunch
Potted Meat
Pressed Beef
Cheese...........

AND for the Sweets : Suet Roll and Syrup or Sultana Roll.

Friday, June 27, 2008

MY FATHER LEFT TO ME
Many things, of course, but one springs back to mind right now.
He said to me :-
" Always be careful of two things. Slicky dicks and slippy dips."
He was an old Labourite.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

WHY RONNIE BIGGS SHOULD BE SET FREE
The adventurer Ronnie Biggs should be set free with two conditions :-
a) He tells us all he knows about Sir Mark Thatcher the snatcher, and,
b) Makes daily raids upon the Daily Mail.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

CAN ANYBODY REMEMBER
Just what Karl Marx said about the relationship between the law of the land and the power-elite?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

USELESS THOSE PR PEOPLE
Just got sent a few pairs of David Beckham underpants for a trial and for a review.
Much too small I replied before giving them away to the Budgie.

Monday, June 23, 2008

PAGEN FESTIVAL - ENJOYED IT I DID
Loved the Mid-Summer Festival time. Actually I was rather well behaved but I guess that is relative.
But damn it me budget for the month is shot to pieces.
The banks refuse to even grant me a power-breakfast meeting and I really must get back in the swing of things soon.
Maybe I should reply to the request from Sir Mark Thatcher. I was asked to help in a charitable expedition to Ethiopia and get paid well back for it.
Dear Maggi : What can I do?

Friday, June 20, 2008

GOOD MORNING HUN PUN WRONG
As midsummer arrives and the Finnish festivals begin I cannot say too much or too little. Good morning to football fans and good morning to creative political careerists.
Well that is about it right now - off to re-join the party.

Monday, June 16, 2008

NOW TEACHED(ed) AT HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL
" Charge for your expertise... Many companies fail to place a premium on the real dollar worth their expertise, or what it would cost an outsider to learn what they already know..............".

Saturday, June 14, 2008

JUST TO RELAX BEFORE ME GRASS IS CUT
We all love favourite things. So I have been thinking about some of my favourite TV song lines.
This is what I came up with :-
" Put the wine in the coconut and shake it all up..."

" Welcome to our house, our house, our house. And we hope you will stay"

If anybody knows the TV programme where these song-lines featured then you are as silly as me - but what other song-lines fill our brains and shake those marbles?

Friday, June 13, 2008

LIBERTY IS A DILEMMA THIS WEEKEND
Bugger me the Sun is back and the grass is growing so fast that soon we will be able to feel it growing.
Me missus demands that this weekend we cut the grass.
Thinking quickly for a change I said in response that : the dandelions are growing too and at the same time and place. We cannot cut the dandylions can we? They have feelings too.
Reply from me missus was straight and clear. She said THE GRASS MUST BE CUT AND WITH IT THE DANDELIONS. WHY SHOULD DANDYLIONS HAVE ALL THE FUN.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

JAMES BOND ACTS WITH NED KELLY SOMETIMES
The hero is always a kind of anarchist when things get rough.
But let us not forget that "SOCIAL BANDITS" are also worthy souls without the Church.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I NO LONGER KNOW
Where I was born and within justly what ........
All I know tonight is that I am feeling homeless in the sense of birth.
What Happens When....
The shit hits the fan?
Bloody simple : those with their hand near the power controls switch it off.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

ANOTHER SILLY SEASIDE THING
The pearl is my oyster....... ( overheard from a Blackpool conference)
HOME THOUGHTS FROM ABROAD
It is reported that some Norfolk and Suffolk folk are catching crabs and then not being able to handle them correctly.
When I was a nipper crabs were a natural part of life.

Monday, June 09, 2008

BLUES RUN THE GAME
Goddamit I woke up this morning
And
Me Anti-Wrinkle cream was gone.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Gloria in Excelsis Deo
Ding dong merrily on high
In my garden the bells are ringing
Yet Another Footnote
Fuck my arse with paper
Wipe my brain with shit
Tell me lies.
ANOTHER FOOTNOTE
Sir Pike the IT "Bissihippi" in waiting.
Bugger me
I have just downloaded a virgin.
And.....
Nobody noticed
NOT A FOOTNOTE TO PLATO
Yehaaa it is Sunday and "WORKERS PLAYTIME"

Saturday, June 07, 2008

GEORGE ORWELL RIGHT BEFORE BUT TODAY ......
During "World War 2" Orwell was right to criticise those, like Alex Comfort, who would make public their refusenik-to-war stance.
Today?
Today Orwell would be wrong.
Today, as war seems "inevitable" yet again, we must say NO.
Today we smell those rats already before the nasty event.
Today we have no excuse.Today we must say NO !
Eric Blair would, I suspect, agree today.

Friday, June 06, 2008

BILDUNG AND A CAT
After about two months and more our stray cat kept on going and coming and being at our place. An adventure? Maybe, but for whom?
But today was the day that this little male "ally-cat" was to be clipped and castrated and calmed down.
Last night was the night to try and make sure it was "back home" after certain "agreements" were made.
And there you have it : about 2 hours before the "official clipping of the male brains" there comes a person asking me to help them find their cat for the clipping of.
Excuse me for cutting a long story short but ..........
After two of them searched for the little cat nothing happened. So they came back and asked if I could help.
I said that maybe it would be best if you went away because the cat is scared of you.
They went away.
I went into the small forest and I called.
The little cat came.
I picked it up and "returned" the little thing to the owners.
I think I am already regretting that act.
FREE SWIMMING FOR ALL
The latest Nu-Labor idea. Free swimming for all ( so long as it boosts the UK competition stakes in... well... competitions.
Comments so far include :-
We could have free swimming anyway in rivers or sea, lakes or ponds if it were not for the theft of capitalism for the few. And, if there was not so much shit floating in the sea and filth floating around the waterways and so many people living off cornflakes with a "K". ( Paul Foot Jnr)
This is a good idea. To learn to swim in muddied waters and with a Straw for security is surely a basic need for UK islanders surrounded by threats and wets. ( BNP activist )
I would request then the provision of a rubber suit. ( Merkinist Clubber)
Can we take photographs of all this? ( Trousers Art Museum Trust)

Then this event should be multi-sexual and pluralistic so that a Liberal society is on display for all to see and feel. ( Anti-Whitehouse Society)


What can a good Zola say about all this? ( you guessed it)

Thursday, June 05, 2008

WE HAVE NO POTATOES TODAY
The betting is being called off by the big boys. Insider information has given the EU a new sense of hope. Ireland will vote YES to the New and Well Reformed Treaty of the Constitution of the Constitution.
The Rt Con Toni Blair is however not amused and has e-mailed from his own computer to many good Catholics in Ireland calling for a rethink of their faith.
Strange perhaps that, by all reports, the Pope is tickled by all this.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

SOME PEOPLE STILL USE THE TELEPHONE
Got a phone call. Asked me to say what I thought of political parties and finance. Gave me a few choices to respond to.
I said that I agreed with everything that was said and.. bollocks.
JUST FOR THE LAUGH
It seems that certain places want me to register with them by internet services whenever I would travel to their beautiful lands.
So here I go : I register thus :-
Bollocks. I care not a pigs fart. Stuff your beautiful lands.
Register that and waste more money on double-checking it.
Bollocks.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

BASKING IN THE SUN OF LAPLAND
At 30 degrees C in the sun today and as the flowers grow so fast I take a rest after the long hard winter. I bask in the sun ( would anybody like a picture?).
If it gets cloudy or rains on Thursday I might, just might, consider doing a stroke of work.

Monday, June 02, 2008

NAUSEA LOST AS PARADISE REGAINED
Our garden now springs to life and already it never gets dark.
In our garden we have
green ones and yellow ones,
red ones and yellow ones
And they are not made out of ticky-tacky
And they do not look all the same.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

EUROPEAN UNION UPDATE
European Reformists and EU member benders are slowly getting their acts together on the infamous Agricultural Policies.
Finland is asking for Finnish self-sufficiency for milk, beef and spuds which are, of course, the staple diet of the working folk.
Sweden demands chewing tobacco no matter what.
The UK demands its own opium fields and its own gene-modernised hop fields, the staple diet of decision-makers ( remember all UK people are decision-makers today)
Romania is watching all this from the sidelines and smiling.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

LAPLAND MEMORIES FROM THE 1970s
The best place to be, when in Utsjöki, was by the bus station around 4. The bus, a kind of post bus cum "people-carrier", carried the spirituals. Drinks were forbidden in Utsjöki and were not for sale unless you went to the one and only hotel called "An Arm and a Leg".
After meeting the bus and getting spiritual I remember something about reindeers and round-ups and a January festival of life and death.
I remember the blood on the snow everywhere.
Do you need a photograph?


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

COURT ORDER PLACED UPON ZOLA BLOG
And you thought it would never happen!
After repeated complaints from "various" blogophobics a court order has been placed upon your poor Zola.
In future all those "participating" in this blog must :-
a) have a solid insurance - fit for purpose
b) have read the Health and Safety regulations Act 1848
c) show a readiness to inform upon any nasty blogger who writes bad things, and
d) uphold the values of our civilisation

Zola must :-
a) provide proof of all the above mentioned imperitives, and
b) present the blog and bloggers comments to the Inspectorate each and every Friday until further notice.

Monday, May 26, 2008

THE TRICKLE-DOWN EFFECT
As Capitalism "equalises all value" the big boys and girls get out to play and that play trickles down, down deeper and down.
From the so called academic professors of a Grantham University and a University of Shitatten.UK through to the self-erected Trade Union leaders educated at those self-same centres of excellence. It all trickles down.
Trickle, trickle, trickle.............
But I have a cunning plan.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
We hear that Celtic Football Club have been less than positive about the movement of the Prime Minister back north.
It was said that : " We, at Celtic, feel that Mr Brown would be better placed at Newcastle United or Chelski".
The only comment we could get from the offices of the PM was : " He himself feels that the GB Olympic football team is more like his opportunity to really show his Bulldog spirit."

Saturday, May 24, 2008

FEELING FICKLE TODAY
It is just about mid-day today and I'm feeling fickle.

Friday, May 23, 2008

I NEED A WEEKEND TO THINK AGAIN.
Everybody, it seems, wants to abort me.
Perhaps I go to Scotland for a couple of days on a kind of bank holiday and with the insurance companies holidays and the other holidays that people enjoy.
Yes! That is what I will do.
Maybe things will be different then.
I might also think about my religious views again.
Maybe I think about Green and White Knights returning.
Maybe I think about Catholicism and the left-behinds.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

AM I REALLY PASSING TIME ?
It is 17.43 on a Thursday. By the time I finnish writing this I guess it will be 17.44 or even MORE.
I suspect that this is the best I can do today unless my toes will tell me just why they move without me actually telling them to move.
I am beginning to understand that my body is not my own body. There are others out there.
This could take some time.
More than 17.46.....
My toes and now my feet have moved many times more and faster than my head.
Can I ever get back my sense of control of my own body?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Is everything alright Monsieur?
No it's not.
It is three o'clock.
" Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. A peculiar moment in the afternoon. Today it is intolerable..... A cold sunshine is whitening the dust....".
And your clock is wrong too.
THINGS GOING FROM BAD TO WORSE
It is ten o'clock and I have gone through various news reports for the day and already nausea creeps in through one of my backdoors.
At the keyboard it happened.

A hand with fingers was working quite well for awhile and then I was shocked as three hands were appearing.
A Hand : really quite usual and practical.
MY Hand : damn it this hand is mine and I do things with it and I control it which was about the time I began continuous spelling mistakes.
THE HAND : It peered back at me and scared me. The hand is awesome and sublime. It towers away and above me. It exists beyond my poor self.

Shit I hope the day is not going to go on and on like this........

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

WENT TO THE SHOP THIS MORNING AND .....
Me jelly bon bons were up by 50 % in price.
This is enough. I have had enough now.

Monday, May 19, 2008

SIGNIFICANT " MOMENTS OF BEING".
As a fairly yet normal silly lad I climbed once. Then I knew that I was going to fall. I fell. I landed. I cannot forget. That was significant. I began to know that my boy-toy has consequences. I climbed and fell.

Moments of Being are like that.

Those times that you do and have done things, you know, when now, when now, it all seems different.

The damned good things here are that "Significant Moments" are also very positive too.
Have you ever had a "significant moment" by saying NO ?
I have.
LIMITS OF MY LANGUAGE ARE LIMITS OF OUR WORLD TOGETHER
In the well kept garden we cut away the weeds. Weeds are not nice and weeds are not what a good garden is for. Weeds are not fit for purpose.
In our well kept private-space others are not welcome because others are not me and not fit for purpose.
Deviants and the mad and the bad are dirty and out of place. They need to be put away somewhere, out of sight and out of mind, because deviants are not fit for purpose.
Vegitarian feminists fuse an ecological politics with social-science yet still they fail to refuse the most natural meat injection of the lot........

Friday, May 16, 2008

WEMBLY WOBBLES WHEN THE MATLOTS PLAY
Come in Cardiff your time is up !
ABORTION LIMITS
Next time you agree to promote abortions which are carried out after even 16 weeks of life then please consider the ways and the means that little living "things" are often cut up and sliced and hacked around before "it" all comes out.
After 20 or more weeks the butchering gets worse, if that is possible.
Cut and slice as the blood runs from the sad eyes
As a struggling life tries to stare and get noticed.
Cut and slice
And hack that unwanted baby into pieces for a nice exit......

THOUGHT WE NEEDED A CHANGE AWAY FROM ANDY CAPP AND DES ESSEINTES.
So here it is and your starter for 10.
Where in Hungary is this bridge scene?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

ANDY CAPP IS SECRETLY HELPING NU LABOR
Even Iceland and the Scott base in Antartica are laughing right now at the ditherings and witherings of Nu Labor in the UK.
However it has been revealed that Andy Capp comes to the rescue although I ought not to have told you this.
As part of a career advancement initiative Ny Labor has sent its bestest members to a weekend event where Andy Capp is featured as the new big deal for the future.
One forum debated this :-
Andy Capp says, lazing on his soft and well padded armchair, " Florie! Where is me bloody newspaper and the racing pages?"
Florie replies, from the kitchen and with her hands in suds, " It is just down there on the floor underneath your arm!"
Andy Capp replies, slowly shaking his head, " Come on woman for Gods sake. Which arm, left or right?


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

DES ESSEINTES IN SEARCH OF ANDY CAPP
Can a sick person show a little imagination in a sick social-body-politics?
Or is this "Against Nature"?
Are we not reminded today of the past when it was said that :-

" Seeing that nowadays there is nothing wholesome left in this world of ours ; seeing that the wine we drink and the freedom we enjoy are equally adulterate and derisory ; and finally, seeing that it takes a considerable degree of goodwill to believe that the governing classes are worthy of respect and that the lower classes are worthy of help or pity, it seems to me ....... that " ....................

Written in 1884 but still demanding an imaginative response in 2008.


Monday, May 12, 2008

PLEASE DON'T SHOUT AT ME I AM SENSITIVE
As I walked alone in the Cherry Orchard, as the May Day sun scorched and the golden daffodils wafted with the faint winds, I felt a sense of true togetherness with others and the wide world.
And then, again and again, a harsh and evil bite hit hard from below.
The devil always has the worst byte.
But I shall struggle on in the knowledge that I must do it my way.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

EURO-SEPTIC-FUNKY-TANKS SAY ........
NU-Labor has made a mark on the world and those in Europe but Europe must not make a mark on us. That is why we are alRight as we are.
Tremendous working class says :-
" Leave it off mate and give us a break. Today 400 million will be watching or following the battle between the reds and the blues." ( Put your bets on United and make my day).

Common voices say .................... ?


Friday, May 09, 2008

Stephen Potter on BLOGGERSHIP
As most will know Stephen Potter (b.1900) was a cultural communicator of the highest order and lowest rank. But most do not know his little piece on "Bloggership".
Let me enlighten :-
" It should not be, but alas is, necessary to remind critics that for bloggership status it is essential to mix in with the knowledge of French an unaffected love of tremendously ordinary and homely things like Danny Kaye, mild and bitter, the Daily Mirror, the Bertram Mills Circus and Rita Hayworth. This will show that, like all really great bloggers, you write for, live among and primarily appeal to, the ordinary common people. "
So there you have it. There it is.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

HONEST REPLIES ONLY
Does your condom lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight
When Anticant says don't chew it do you swallow it in spite
Can you catch it on your tonsils
Can you heave it left and right
Does your condom lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight?

Have you ever had such experiences like this?

Ah dunno our Anticant is back blogging after his regular sulk. So as we all love the guy I wanted to award him the new Lonnie Donnigan Award.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
The news reading public were amazed to learn today that the man using a killer weapon was an upper-middle-class barrister trained, by the best institutions, to get results.
Even the newspaper editors could not believe their own ears and eyes.
---------------
However a dark-skinned skateboarder has, it is reported, been arrested and the quality-controls of the press and barons are slowly recovering from their state of shock.
It was said that : "this has nothing to do with belief or ideology" but we are happy to be able to continue our quest towards truth.
When asked Sir Rees Moggy Mugger ( the bricks and mortar man) said that this story had no relation to Lord Blair. Such was impossible, he said, because Lord Blair was studying in Scotland at the time in order to solve the crises in the Middle East and Iraq.

EU LEADERSHIP EXAMS GETTING HARDER
We hear from various leeks from the Welsh MEP's that the leadership exams for the driving licences for top positions will get tougher.
Get tougher on crime seems to be a general feeling.
The practical exams will get more theoretical.
The theory exams will get much much... more... many many much more deeper.
It is a rumour that the debates between Leninites and Trots will be one of the major issues to be centred upon in Italy and the UK.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

SHOCK AND AWESOME AND WOW EXPERIENCES
By a strange twist of fate, speeded up, concerning the globalisation games we find ourselves running full speed ahead and head first in to the wall at the end of that hard cul-de-sac'ian nothingless.
Of course this was the experience that the likes of Gide and Kafka et al wrote about so well. Artists like Paul Klee.... and so on add-absurd-on.
But then it was a slow walk backwards-facing into the wall.
Today we run with our noses to the front, eyes closed and de-brained.
Ouch !
This is gonna hurt methinks.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Said Barnicle-Bill The Sailor
What do I do when I can't have you
Said Desperate Dan the failer.

OK, that was cheap. Let me try another one.

The drums they play with a titti-tit-tat
As the pipes no longer play.
Fare-de-well ole Poly T I must be going away.

Ok, ok, off to bed and do with me what you will.
No that was not a smile on my face !
I was only reading a few EU briefs from below.
Phew! Powerful stuff that.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

CAN THE ELITE EVER SHOW THE WAY AHEAD FOR MOST FOLK?
Eton College and St Pauls are making whispers and causing sound-waves around the elite gallery of the Character Building institutions of the UK. It seems to be another kind of revolt. Bring back education and the "whole person and world" idea and bring back edification?
Damn all those faked exams and tables and Americanised credits.

Let me say my little piece.
My answer is YES, for sometimes and awhile.
Elite systems have much to contribute here.
THE NEED IS TO DEMOCRATISE that elitism system.
Without being scared of the workers and the misfits and the .........

Ah well it is almost May Day.

Monday, April 28, 2008

SIGN HERE PLEASE FOR YOUR DELIVERY
There I was trying to do me best on a Monday morning when the damned door bell rang.
There I was searching for a decent set of clothes.
Anyway - made it ok.
I opened the door and a busty beauty burst out before me.
Ello, ello, I said, are you German?
"No", she replied "I am delivering your needs".
I, as a polite gentleman, received the delivery and signed for it.
Then I opened the box ( better than taking the money I thought).
Bugger me a bass guitar with no strings attached arrived.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

GOOD MORNING VAMPIRES
Saturday nights and Sunday mornings are always special.
I had a dream.
Those damned vampires were sucking me dry.
But I woke up and ran to the kitchen for garlic.
Then stood around thinking for awhile .... what to do with garlic ?

Thursday, April 24, 2008

UK DAY CARE CENTRES FLOURISH
In the UK there is a school and college "teachers" strike going on. The kids are amused and this amusement is educational.
It is, however, unfortunate that the "pre-school" centres are getting into this act too.
The argument is this : Who are the day-care specialists?
Comments, so far, from the university day care system seem to imply that we must expand. Expand the age of childood and youth so that it is all good business.
Stay young out there mate.....

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

THE DATES SEEM TO FIT
Was it not in 1608 that Wicked Willy boy created his Coriolanus?
Maybe we need a few more of the Corn Laws debates today.
Bread anybody, bread?
Wat a wyatt........

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

ST GEORGE? Gimme anover one do
Let it be known to all and sundry that dwell on the nice sun-flower-deck of the boat with rusty rivets : St George did not slay the dragon he merely helped invent it.

Monday, April 21, 2008

IS THIS THE DEATH OF CITIZENSHIP JOURNO-BLOGGING?
It has come to my notice that a rather powerful political "club" have convinced various ethical groups to support a new EU law that forbids bloggers to blog if under the influence of more than two strong beers.
I am making a petition in both response and protest at this, so far, secret movement related to the fearful mis-economy.
What are your thoughts dear bloggers?

Friday, April 18, 2008

REALISM CREEPS IN AS FRIDAY FEELINGS SUCK UNTO MONDAY
" But suddenly a new cry arose : Bread, Bread, Bread ! ... The dogs alone replied by barking ferociously... with open jaws.... ...."

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

WEDNESDAY : ANOTHER DAY OF FEAR
Just realised that the rubbish MEN come in the early hours of a Thursday. I need to make sure that all the rubbish is out there and available for due collection.
Me missus has threatened to put ME in a plastic bag tonight.
Wish me luck.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

TUESDAY TABLE TALK
It was, I think, Freud that asked us to consider again the "portion of happiness" and the possibilities of happiness that have been exchanged for a "portion of security.." : holy shit.
God damit think I need a beer and a dance and a carnival.
Could I invite ..........?
Give your guest list.

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