NEWS LATEST

Male cuts off penis in eating establishment. After having his car confiscated this male member of society decided to get real. He cut his penis away. He wanted, it is reported, to show himself as a real man without car. Afterwards, as he wept, a BUN reporter heard him say " It was never really mine anyway". When asked why he did this act in public he replied that it "was to educate" and "to make a stand".

At the same time the hospitals are full of patients suffering from trauma. It seems that many of the females, in that big London restaurant, were shocked. A Doctor there said that there were two categories of trauma. The first and the largest in number was a kind of penis envy that was so badly taken away through such an awful act. Lost now in a lost world was how one therapist described it. The second was a kind of self-hatred because many had wanted to do this act themselves but had never quite found the wherewithall to actually do it. So far penis meat has not hit the headlines but it may not take too long before it hits the menu. ( not sure what to mix it with however but .... we wait...)

Anyway London is full to the brim with trauma cases right now. Tourist agents advise the routes to Manchester where the penis syndrome has yet to be discovered and where the football is better. But then it all depends on your character and your taste.

I did try to send this male penis cutter to all the Awks but I was too slow it seems. He only got to Yellow Duck and then blew a big wobbler.
This is not to blame Yellow Duck, of course, but a question has been raised, in the higher ponds, as to the side-effects of the "Pond".