OLD THOUGHTS FROM ABROAD
As the New Year rumbles on and as part-timers ( who just cannot hold their drink) mix and mingle with the real drinking classes ; and as the New Philosophy takes political spins from ear to ear, then a piece of a poem for all those that sense metaphysical guilt.

" And new Philosophy calls all into doubt,
The Element of fire is quite put out ;
The Sun is lost, and the earth, and no man's wit
Can well direct him where to looke for it.
...................
For every man alone thinkes he hath got
To be a Phoenix, and that then can bee
None of that kinde of which he is, but hee.
..................
Feele this consuming wound, and ages darts,
For the worlds beauty is decai'd or gone,
Beauty, that's colour, and proportion. "

After a sick and first decade to this pathetic 21st century and when even the likes of careerist politicians spin us their new compass bearings as a new philosophy I do hope you, my fellow readers, will find sympathy for olde Zola in the next 48 hours.
Anything can happen !!!

Wish you a better 2008 I do.

PSYCHOLOGISTS SAY
Males must make a behaviouristic type of New Year Resolution.
Women must make a social type of New Year Resolution.
This all sounds like more bullshit to me.
I'm off to check on the Saturday football.

A SECOND XMAS COMES TO ZOLA
In the post today there was a wonderful package. My brother-in-law sent out a few items that he well knows are missing in Lapland. Inside were:-

A Christmas Pudding ( large)
Marmite
Jars of Shippam's chicken spread
Branston rich and fruity sauce
Horlicks
Grow your own Jalapeno peppers
and more........

Due to this day of excitement and gratitude your Zola will not be throwing any under-the-belt punches at those blue-meanies. Not today anyway.

NEW YEAR A'COMING ME LASSI
Dogs are IN next year. Bet on them and pump your money on them.
Dogs are IN.
Cats are out.

Tag Those Demontia and Sir Parkinson and .....
The goodwill Christmas brings forth a host of foolish angels.
Now we should "tag" those deviants even more. Dementia must be hunted down and set under the screens of control.
This, at the same time, as ( it is reported by our reliable press) 55% of the UK population believes that the debt-economy is going to do well for them in the year 2008.
Happy bloody Christmas.
Question? : Who needs to be tagged?

HAPPY XMAS TO ALL
A very merry xmas in fact is the wish for all.
Thanks to to those old lefties that have already wished your homely Zola a sober and sane Yuletide.
Well off to put on a few extra kilos.
See y'all soon.

AN INVITATION AND THEN I GOT HIT UPON
Back somewhere in the 60s I was given an invitation to attend a "new kind" of TV show and this invitation was for my family all. We attended. Then .......
After about 5 minutes of this so called live performance two men began to jump up and down every now and then and show us signs like "Clap" or "make a noise". I was new to this kind of game. But after 15 minutes I simply stood up and walked out in a state of disgust and total loss.
I did not know then just how much this kind of live real TV would progress.
I see it now.
Now I know I should have thrown eggs on the stage or worse.

THOUGHTS ON GIVING A LECTURE IN PUBLIC
I am in the middle or sorting out a few historical things concerning past work and a forthcoming public lecture.
One of the things I have now remembered, from the 1990s, is the rather cold hearted and even nasty responses that came my way after I wrote a firm critique of the following piece of writing from one Doctor in the USA and I quote it below and here :-
" Ninety to ninety-five percent of all people who lose their jobs do so because of a lack of interpersonal skills. Out of the top five qualities employers value most highly, three of them are directly related to interpersonal effectiveness. Skills of such importance should not be left to only genetics or chance. "
OK I critiqued this piece of Phd level writing rather firmly. I did not even try to suffer fools gladly.
But why, for being critical, did I get called a radical troublemaker by so many professionals?
I still think that Doctor is a raving idiot.

JACK STRAW HAS BEEN TAKING LIBERTY
He has been caught red-handed cooking the books and budgets again.
But never mind Condi-Sleezy-Nice is planning an Outdoor Adventure Centre in Panama for him.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
The well known and respected BAE Systems group has promised to provide for each new stake-holder :-
a) ear plugs
b) sunglasses
c) discount funeral arrangements for any family member at risk

The Clean and Clear The Skies organisation said that this was a major breakthrough with value-for-money entertainment.
Hear nothing, see nothing and say nothing.
But there are critical voices suspicious of the senses in all this. One country person said : " what about the smell"?
WE wait for the latest updated news on this sensuous issue.

LONG SERVING EMPLOYEES OF THE UK REMEMBERED
This week marks Queen Lizzi overtaking Queen Victoria as the the longest serving and duty bound employee of the British Empire and England.
Only George 3rd ( if my HIS-story is correct) has served the public longer but he does not count as he is considered a bit too mad to have a vote.
Maggi Thatcher is not amused.

TONI BLAIR BUYS A BARRETI-HOOSE
Best Eco-Deal around he said.

COPPELO FELLOW AND GAWDI BROWN SHOW SPUNK
Trouble is it will all slither and wither in their yellow underpants.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF OCTOPIE ILLUSIONS
Today, after hammering out the wicked 13th with philosophy, I needed to wash the dishes, make lots of food and make the fire in the house. What is this world all about? Godamit.
Shit I will need to shit soon.
But then a thought came to me.
Nu-Labor and psychologists and management trainees. What is common with these remarkable beasts of illusion?
Then the telephone and I felt hungry.
Can you imagine what it is like to slither and slobber, bubble and babble when the telephone rings?
The USA was trying to contact me as my number was given as the dog that slithers and bibbles, babbles and bobbles along.

DEAR MR JACK STRAW
After 350 responses to your Guardian article you must feel today that you have finally been sussed.
You have not changed since your lefty-career days of the 1960s. You are still the same old career politician.
But let me not serve mere opinion here.
You said that the sun rises in the East.
I checked that out today from my European Union position.
Just before midday the sun rises in the south part and just after midday the sun sets in a similar south part that is closer to the west.
Therefore even your obvious objective remarks are way off line.

THE MARKS OF CIVILISATION MEASURED.
How many justifications can be made for absurdity?
No wonder some people prefer animals.
Was in the sauna last night and then looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself if I measured up.
GordiLordi Brown Arse will be putin pen to paper soon.
God I miss Yorkshire spades.
I need a Hairy Gate.

THE VOICE OF THE SHUTTLE REMAINS SOMEWHERE
After rape what can a person do? When that rape is also cutting off the tongue how can we speak?
We send our young ones to war all the time but fuck them up before that anyway.
But has that voice of the shuttle become a commodity?
Can we weave a tapestry to tell the truth in a culture industry?
Can we?

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF
I never think it necessary to find reasons for those dreams ( Don said that methinks ) but for some reason or another I woke up today with Dusty Springfield on my mind. Her music will not leave me alone. After 5 hours of morning white-black blues I just don't know what to do with myself.

Maybe I have been reading too many blogs from Trousers all mixed up like a bruised dream ( blame the Merkgrin for that). Maybe Szwagibaggyeyes keeps thrusting musical Adorno's to me that I yearn for the good old times when a Saxon-Onion really made yer eyes water. I just don't know. But maybe Lavender has gone blonde all over ( I must check that ).
Perhaps this is a vision...............

NU-DEMOCRACY TARGETS THE TARGET-MAKERS
In a sweeping move yesterday the EU select group set up a nu plan for the support of the target-makers.
Special and extra funding will go to the UK and Estonia.
The basic plan is to provide each and every politico with a "behaviour mentor" so that the bad behaviour of politicos can be addressed as an ongoing "process".
Our source in the EU said that " we are not implying that our politicians are at risk but we do want to improve our behaviour patterns and we can do this through personal mentors for each behavioural thing involved."
An American consultant is said to be given the task of implementation.

FUCK OFF ?
Heard it, seen it and spent it I guess but "fuck off" remains a kind of myth that "we" live by. The power of "fuck" I cannot give or receive.
I guess that you do not get the message you are not a member of the team, Or, at least, you do not get fucked very often or at all. I get fucked many times but only a few times with haqqppinessis.
But let us wait a minute here. Could these mean safe sex in anyplace that is a port in a storm?
Could this mean just go away quickly ( same thing really).
Or could this mean a fuck off and away from this mess of the tests of morality.
Could this mean "Fuck when you will Sgt Major?"

LAVENDERBLUE KNICKERS OK GIRL : A ROLE MODEL FOR UK TEENS
In the latest political storms in the UK today the role models for youth are being branded about. So far the Spice Girls and Margaret Thatcher have been nominated for official recognition.
However one publication, a rather high-brow publication too, has nominated the lone-blogger LavenderBlue. As an ex St Trinians girl made good she does, it was said, provide the youth of today with some of the essential ingredients to make that cake and eat it in everyday life.
But our reporter called her this morning to ask for comments on her nomination. The reply was "Fuck Off".
When asked to spell this she spelt it out loud and clearly and did not even add a yer nor wat i mean. Because of this the editorial board decided to continue publishing the LavenderBlue promotion.

JOHN LENNON
A Day In The Life and then the damned death as December 8th is remembered like a Walrus gone wrong and a bad trip on a magical Mystery Tour.
Those were the days with fish and finger pie.

ZOLA GIVES AN INDEPENDENT VERDICT
Cardiff City football club are clearly unfit for purpose. They should be forced into administration as quickly as possible. They are what is wrong with the good sport. Also 10 points, at least, must be deducted from them this season. This is only fair. This is only as it should be.
We must take the high moral ground here.

REINDEERS IN THE UK OR WAS THAT SCOTLAND?
Foreigners, reindeer folk, are now welcome in the UK.
Before it was not so easy for reindeers or reindeer folk.

Reindeers were taken to the Scottish mountains many years ago and with them a Laplander guy. After a short time the UK sent him away. Then the reindeers began to die. The UK asked the Laplander back and, of course, said sorry. The Laplander returned and the reindeer community began to thrive again. There is a "bildung" somewhere with this story based on fact.
If you need to check, check, the stuff from Cairngorms and reindeer.
Compare the facts with the typical UK tourist version of reality today as is written in newspapers and all that.
Yes I did live then and know a few folk that were involved.
But that is history.
What is the Bildung for us and today?

UK SUPERMARKETS ARE SLAPPED ON THE WRIST
For cooperation and solidarity thay are fined tea money.
Interest rates are 5.5 now - cooperation and solidarity?
How am I to make sense of all this?

DECEMBER 7th and the RAIN FALLS
After Independence Day Finns wake up to rain and the green grass showing itself as the ice melts. Snow has gone. Lapland?
Bugger me soon we will have a health spa here for folk from North Wales.

INDEPENDENCE DAY FOR FINLAND IS THE NEWS
December 6th is Independence day for Finland. It was in 1917 that the the emerging Nation State of Finland declared independence from Russia. It was a well timed event as the situation in Russia was a little hot and messy at the time. Lenin recognised this Finnish act officially on January 4th 1918. ( The Brits were not so quick!!!)
By the way Swedes gave Finland away to Russia a hundred years before and Finland became a kind of pass the parcel in all the war games.

But today Finns begin to forget work and begin to cool down for the big celebrations over the next 36 hours.

NEW UK PLAN : PENSIONS FOR ALL
Question in parliament today :-
Q : " What happened to Graduated Pensions?"

CHIMPS HAVE BETTER MEMORIES THAN NULABOR VOTERS
Latest research claims that chimps know after learning just what a real banana republic is and where it is to be found.

FROM THE GUARDIANS OF TRUTH TODAY we read :-

1) Sex education in schools works and Polly Toytown shows us all just how to limit sexual acts. It seems that all we need to do is place a picture of her inside our heads and that will be enough.
2) There should, it was claimed, be more courses for older folk. That is a kind of liberal arts educational type thing course. I shudder at the implications when we see :-
Antiquescant doing courses in kick-boxing and metaphysical poetry.
LavenderBlue with her Domestic Science with the life and times of Marlene Dietrich.
Merkyperky doing an analysis of Page 3 babes with Freudian Fantasy Teams.
Trousers doing daisy-chain design with American Studies.
Szwazzifuzzyman with his Aztec rap with Catholic Radicalism in Poland.

Ah dunno maybe the world would be a better place then.

UK FOLK ARE IGNORING THOSE WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES
The National Health Service of the UK ignores those that are "at risk" through no fault of their own.
UK voters have not helped National Health.
Blair-Brown and all that, from 1066, show well that the UK folk ignore those with learning disabilities.
Voted in Thatcher they did too.
Oh dear me what a very "Poor Law" system.

A SUNDAY THOUGHT FOR MASS CULTURE
Lenny Bruce is gone
But his spirit lives on and on.