ADVICE NEEDED
The normally stay-at-home Zola must travel to the UK this summer for about 10 days. There was a time when this would be banal but today ....? I find myself asking strange questions like what should i take with me. What should I avoid. What planet am I to visit? Any kindly worldly advice will be appreciated. By all accounts things have changed rather much since my last visit and especially since my last living there - over 30 years ago.
Do I still use the word "Thank You"? If I am lost, soon to be lost or drunk and totally lost do I still ask a policeman for help? Do convents still have high walls demanding climbing expertise? Do I still avoid using the word cheers when taking a drink with others?
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Both wine and bread at confirmation were fake and this small site might just attract others that experienced the same. Critical voices? Those that participate? Who knows. For those that find sympathy with a walk on the wild sides of life, mountains, rivers or forests but do not pretend to escape. Other bits and pieces the news and also odds and sods that cry out "leave it off mate". Justly a lark and maybe the lark. But the lark will often land on the cactus.
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16 comments:
Practice the words "bollocks" and "tosser" to be said under your breath when the words "thank you" aren't reciprocated.
Don't expect politeness from anyone, even though it still exists.
Saying "cheers" is generally fine.
The convent walls may be just as high but now they're probably under the watchful gaze of CCTV.
How weird - you were in my dream last night zola - I came to visit you on some sort of mission - you were in outer space orbiting either the earth or moon.
Outer Space OK.
But this cctv - does one vote for him or her or.....?
Oh no, you don't want to be voting for cctv!
Well, if you don't make a point of dropping in to the burrow Snug for a noggin or two, the Beadle, Ben and Wooffie will be ransacking convents up and down the land for you. [We are already setting up a Zola-spotting website for anxious Mother Superiors.]
It all depends whom you are thanking for what. Steer clear of policemen [and women], they have arrest targets to fulfil and will slap an ASBO on you if you so much as sneeze.
Beware of the numerous people who will say "no problem" when you ask them something. It usually indicates quicksands ahead.
Be prepared for people to be lots more glum and grumpy than when you lived here. It's called the "Blair-son-of-Thatcher knock-on effect".
ZoZoBear........
my home is your home............xx
Mother Superiors OK.
No anxiety needed just sacrifice and salvation.
Can handle that on their behalf.
But I am learning from you folk.
Don't drink the water.
LB : Many thanks I will give your address to anyone that demands it from me.
Merkin : never touch the stuff.
A man after my own heart.
I remember my first time travelling to Athens on 'The Magic Bus'.
In Yugoslavia, I was warned not to touch the water in Greece.
In Greece, I was berated for being so stupid as to have drunk the Yugoslav water.
Fortunately, my stomach is positively cast iron.
The toilets were equally disgusting in both countries.
I don't care what any one says.
'It's not the tequila talking' xx
'The toilets were equally disgusting in both countries.'
I did mean in the motorway service stations, in case anyone who is a Greek or Yugoslavian toilet owner takes issue.
No problem, Zola....
Whatever happened to "land of hope and glory"?
Did that White man's Burden get too much or .....?
Our Merkin is still living with Tito methinks ... Yugoslavia? Freudian?
Bit like Great Britain.
maybe it was better under Tito?
Zola, it was 1978 after all.
1978. Indeed merkinperking.
1978 : Nobel Peace Prize for Begin and Sadat.
1978 : Cardinal Wojtyla ( hope i spelt that ok)of Crackcowsiwitz becomes Pope John Paul 2nd
God bless.
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