EUROPEAN UNION UPDATE
European Reformists and EU member benders are slowly getting their acts together on the infamous Agricultural Policies.
Finland is asking for Finnish self-sufficiency for milk, beef and spuds which are, of course, the staple diet of the working folk.
Sweden demands chewing tobacco no matter what.
The UK demands its own opium fields and its own gene-modernised hop fields, the staple diet of decision-makers ( remember all UK people are decision-makers today)
Romania is watching all this from the sidelines and smiling.

LAPLAND MEMORIES FROM THE 1970s
The best place to be, when in Utsjöki, was by the bus station around 4. The bus, a kind of post bus cum "people-carrier", carried the spirituals. Drinks were forbidden in Utsjöki and were not for sale unless you went to the one and only hotel called "An Arm and a Leg".
After meeting the bus and getting spiritual I remember something about reindeers and round-ups and a January festival of life and death.
I remember the blood on the snow everywhere.
Do you need a photograph?

COURT ORDER PLACED UPON ZOLA BLOG
And you thought it would never happen!
After repeated complaints from "various" blogophobics a court order has been placed upon your poor Zola.
In future all those "participating" in this blog must :-
a) have a solid insurance - fit for purpose
b) have read the Health and Safety regulations Act 1848
c) show a readiness to inform upon any nasty blogger who writes bad things, and
d) uphold the values of our civilisation

Zola must :-
a) provide proof of all the above mentioned imperitives, and
b) present the blog and bloggers comments to the Inspectorate each and every Friday until further notice.

THE TRICKLE-DOWN EFFECT
As Capitalism "equalises all value" the big boys and girls get out to play and that play trickles down, down deeper and down.
From the so called academic professors of a Grantham University and a University of Shitatten.UK through to the self-erected Trade Union leaders educated at those self-same centres of excellence. It all trickles down.
Trickle, trickle, trickle.............
But I have a cunning plan.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
We hear that Celtic Football Club have been less than positive about the movement of the Prime Minister back north.
It was said that : " We, at Celtic, feel that Mr Brown would be better placed at Newcastle United or Chelski".
The only comment we could get from the offices of the PM was : " He himself feels that the GB Olympic football team is more like his opportunity to really show his Bulldog spirit."

FEELING FICKLE TODAY
It is just about mid-day today and I'm feeling fickle.

I NEED A WEEKEND TO THINK AGAIN.
Everybody, it seems, wants to abort me.
Perhaps I go to Scotland for a couple of days on a kind of bank holiday and with the insurance companies holidays and the other holidays that people enjoy.
Yes! That is what I will do.
Maybe things will be different then.
I might also think about my religious views again.
Maybe I think about Green and White Knights returning.
Maybe I think about Catholicism and the left-behinds.

AM I REALLY PASSING TIME ?
It is 17.43 on a Thursday. By the time I finnish writing this I guess it will be 17.44 or even MORE.
I suspect that this is the best I can do today unless my toes will tell me just why they move without me actually telling them to move.
I am beginning to understand that my body is not my own body. There are others out there.
This could take some time.
More than 17.46.....
My toes and now my feet have moved many times more and faster than my head.
Can I ever get back my sense of control of my own body?

Is everything alright Monsieur?
No it's not.
It is three o'clock.
" Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. A peculiar moment in the afternoon. Today it is intolerable..... A cold sunshine is whitening the dust....".
And your clock is wrong too.

THINGS GOING FROM BAD TO WORSE
It is ten o'clock and I have gone through various news reports for the day and already nausea creeps in through one of my backdoors.
At the keyboard it happened.

A hand with fingers was working quite well for awhile and then I was shocked as three hands were appearing.
A Hand : really quite usual and practical.
MY Hand : damn it this hand is mine and I do things with it and I control it which was about the time I began continuous spelling mistakes.
THE HAND : It peered back at me and scared me. The hand is awesome and sublime. It towers away and above me. It exists beyond my poor self.

Shit I hope the day is not going to go on and on like this........

WENT TO THE SHOP THIS MORNING AND .....
Me jelly bon bons were up by 50 % in price.
This is enough. I have had enough now.

SIGNIFICANT " MOMENTS OF BEING".
As a fairly yet normal silly lad I climbed once. Then I knew that I was going to fall. I fell. I landed. I cannot forget. That was significant. I began to know that my boy-toy has consequences. I climbed and fell.

Moments of Being are like that.

Those times that you do and have done things, you know, when now, when now, it all seems different.

The damned good things here are that "Significant Moments" are also very positive too.
Have you ever had a "significant moment" by saying NO ?
I have.

LIMITS OF MY LANGUAGE ARE LIMITS OF OUR WORLD TOGETHER
In the well kept garden we cut away the weeds. Weeds are not nice and weeds are not what a good garden is for. Weeds are not fit for purpose.
In our well kept private-space others are not welcome because others are not me and not fit for purpose.
Deviants and the mad and the bad are dirty and out of place. They need to be put away somewhere, out of sight and out of mind, because deviants are not fit for purpose.
Vegitarian feminists fuse an ecological politics with social-science yet still they fail to refuse the most natural meat injection of the lot........

WEMBLY WOBBLES WHEN THE MATLOTS PLAY
Come in Cardiff your time is up !

ABORTION LIMITS
Next time you agree to promote abortions which are carried out after even 16 weeks of life then please consider the ways and the means that little living "things" are often cut up and sliced and hacked around before "it" all comes out.
After 20 or more weeks the butchering gets worse, if that is possible.
Cut and slice as the blood runs from the sad eyes
As a struggling life tries to stare and get noticed.
Cut and slice
And hack that unwanted baby into pieces for a nice exit......

THOUGHT WE NEEDED A CHANGE AWAY FROM ANDY CAPP AND DES ESSEINTES.
So here it is and your starter for 10.
Where in Hungary is this bridge scene?

ANDY CAPP IS SECRETLY HELPING NU LABOR
Even Iceland and the Scott base in Antartica are laughing right now at the ditherings and witherings of Nu Labor in the UK.
However it has been revealed that Andy Capp comes to the rescue although I ought not to have told you this.
As part of a career advancement initiative Ny Labor has sent its bestest members to a weekend event where Andy Capp is featured as the new big deal for the future.
One forum debated this :-
Andy Capp says, lazing on his soft and well padded armchair, " Florie! Where is me bloody newspaper and the racing pages?"
Florie replies, from the kitchen and with her hands in suds, " It is just down there on the floor underneath your arm!"
Andy Capp replies, slowly shaking his head, " Come on woman for Gods sake. Which arm, left or right?

DES ESSEINTES IN SEARCH OF ANDY CAPP
Can a sick person show a little imagination in a sick social-body-politics?
Or is this "Against Nature"?
Are we not reminded today of the past when it was said that :-

" Seeing that nowadays there is nothing wholesome left in this world of ours ; seeing that the wine we drink and the freedom we enjoy are equally adulterate and derisory ; and finally, seeing that it takes a considerable degree of goodwill to believe that the governing classes are worthy of respect and that the lower classes are worthy of help or pity, it seems to me ....... that " ....................

Written in 1884 but still demanding an imaginative response in 2008.

PLEASE DON'T SHOUT AT ME I AM SENSITIVE
As I walked alone in the Cherry Orchard, as the May Day sun scorched and the golden daffodils wafted with the faint winds, I felt a sense of true togetherness with others and the wide world.
And then, again and again, a harsh and evil bite hit hard from below.
The devil always has the worst byte.
But I shall struggle on in the knowledge that I must do it my way.

EURO-SEPTIC-FUNKY-TANKS SAY ........
NU-Labor has made a mark on the world and those in Europe but Europe must not make a mark on us. That is why we are alRight as we are.
Tremendous working class says :-
" Leave it off mate and give us a break. Today 400 million will be watching or following the battle between the reds and the blues." ( Put your bets on United and make my day).

Common voices say .................... ?

Stephen Potter on BLOGGERSHIP
As most will know Stephen Potter (b.1900) was a cultural communicator of the highest order and lowest rank. But most do not know his little piece on "Bloggership".
Let me enlighten :-
" It should not be, but alas is, necessary to remind critics that for bloggership status it is essential to mix in with the knowledge of French an unaffected love of tremendously ordinary and homely things like Danny Kaye, mild and bitter, the Daily Mirror, the Bertram Mills Circus and Rita Hayworth. This will show that, like all really great bloggers, you write for, live among and primarily appeal to, the ordinary common people. "
So there you have it. There it is.

HONEST REPLIES ONLY
Does your condom lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight
When Anticant says don't chew it do you swallow it in spite
Can you catch it on your tonsils
Can you heave it left and right
Does your condom lose its flavour
On the bedpost overnight?

Have you ever had such experiences like this?

Ah dunno our Anticant is back blogging after his regular sulk. So as we all love the guy I wanted to award him the new Lonnie Donnigan Award.

BREAKING WIND-E-NEWS
The news reading public were amazed to learn today that the man using a killer weapon was an upper-middle-class barrister trained, by the best institutions, to get results.
Even the newspaper editors could not believe their own ears and eyes.
---------------
However a dark-skinned skateboarder has, it is reported, been arrested and the quality-controls of the press and barons are slowly recovering from their state of shock.
It was said that : "this has nothing to do with belief or ideology" but we are happy to be able to continue our quest towards truth.
When asked Sir Rees Moggy Mugger ( the bricks and mortar man) said that this story had no relation to Lord Blair. Such was impossible, he said, because Lord Blair was studying in Scotland at the time in order to solve the crises in the Middle East and Iraq.

EU LEADERSHIP EXAMS GETTING HARDER
We hear from various leeks from the Welsh MEP's that the leadership exams for the driving licences for top positions will get tougher.
Get tougher on crime seems to be a general feeling.
The practical exams will get more theoretical.
The theory exams will get much much... more... many many much more deeper.
It is a rumour that the debates between Leninites and Trots will be one of the major issues to be centred upon in Italy and the UK.

SHOCK AND AWESOME AND WOW EXPERIENCES
By a strange twist of fate, speeded up, concerning the globalisation games we find ourselves running full speed ahead and head first in to the wall at the end of that hard cul-de-sac'ian nothingless.
Of course this was the experience that the likes of Gide and Kafka et al wrote about so well. Artists like Paul Klee.... and so on add-absurd-on.
But then it was a slow walk backwards-facing into the wall.
Today we run with our noses to the front, eyes closed and de-brained.
Ouch !
This is gonna hurt methinks.

Said Barnicle-Bill The Sailor
What do I do when I can't have you
Said Desperate Dan the failer.

OK, that was cheap. Let me try another one.

The drums they play with a titti-tit-tat
As the pipes no longer play.
Fare-de-well ole Poly T I must be going away.

Ok, ok, off to bed and do with me what you will.
No that was not a smile on my face !
I was only reading a few EU briefs from below.
Phew! Powerful stuff that.