BREAKING WIND E-NEWS

A well known politician of the highest rank taste has been helped by old Oxford chums. After an interview people were so amazed that this rank politician had failed to keep a diary that their help poured in. Apparently friends and supporters ( the numbers remain a mystery) wanted to help because the rank politician in question will need the money from memoirs and book sales due to sure unemployment on the near horizon. So various helping hands submitted documents written by this non-diary-keeper. It is early days yet to give a general summary or even to paraphrase the contents sent in but two examples may suffice to keep the book publishers happy.

From a letter to an Oxford hero written by the rank politician :-
" I well understand that I could never replace you or your wonderful work for our country. Even if we studied at the same university my status will never equal yours. Indeed I follow you in ignoring all this equality propaganda and this because I follow you in the vision of our truly Great traditions of Britain. I have been thinking that the best place for future work is for those that really need this tradition and our vision. If I am still a little wet for your good company I may serve and strive to bring into line those opposing forces of evil. I am sure, if I succeed in this quest, I will justly receive payment by results in the future both on earth and in heaven. ....... I will not yield."

From a somewhat difficult to read letter - some words are impossible to read - we also find that : " The band has not taken off and I feel the need to change ways. I cannot seem to live up the the demands of my family and education. I am not artistic. But I can sell second hand cars and deal a fairly good hand to myself in other ways. I am thinking of going into politics. Any party is fine for me so long as it has an opening. Yes I think it will be politics. My poor degree will not get me far and my music career seems to be already dead before it really began. I will mix the law with politics and buy my ticket that way ........ anyway politics is theatre anyway in it not?"

Due to legal issues and newspaper ethics the above words are provisional and the persons involved must remain fiction. Zola would not want to be called a B-Liar! The above might be just ugly rumours.